Prompt #1

March 2nd,2022 DAWN

I'll list two, but for my first and absolute passion - It's always made sense. To pick this very prompt, because I wasn't too sure what to pick from my prompt book, I closed my eyes, flipped, stopped, and pointed at random. For this to be the first prompt in this book is insane because it could've been anything.

My passion and I are fated secret lovers deeply enchanted by each other. And it never ends. I write to live, to get past; to evolve. My passion moves with and through me. When I don't move, I feel my passion ache. So happy to be seeing happier days for my love and me.

Writing is one of the only constants in my life. As a child in school, I hesitated and contemplated endlessly before prompts kinda like this one- they might've been picture prompts too. I understood the concept of prompts and I loved the idea of it, but my articulation in certain forms bloomed late. They were timed and sometimes I'd never even get to pick up my pencil. My thought always ran strong as a stallion though.

Like any deep love connection, I think I was scared to start, to even dip a toe in. I wanted my words perfect. I was scared but found it as my calling as I grew older. Got better. By 13 I completely gave in and it was the surest I've ever been about anything.

Expression gave me butterflies.

My passion fits like a glove even though education always didn't at first. This brings me to my second passion:

Education.

With my early start out troubles in school came teachers who burned. Seven years old and kept after school till 4:30 because I couldn't write what I wanted to do with a pot of Gold. I knew, but of course, I couldn't get it down on paper. I wanted to give it to family but I wanted to say more and didn't know how to ask for help. They just wanted me to do it. I wanted it to be the best but I was often paralyzed in the classroom surrounded by other kids to compare to.

Teachers often took this behavior of mine as just not trying or being a bad kid. That day after school my mom threw up in the classroom toilet, she thought I was kidnapped.

Back then I was sick with a thyroid disorder and no one knew that that was what was causing some dysfunction in my learning. I've had teachers call me slower than molasses in front of other students. I didn't fully understand what that meant until years later. My peers did because it egged them on to call me retarded in lunchrooms or when I attempted to interact with them.

I know I was the sweetest kid. She shouldn't have gone through any of that, but I did and maybe I should have.

Every day I make it my duty to be a presence in my respective classroom to honor and understand different methods of learning. I'm so proud to work with Autistic children. My patience and encouragement are never-ending for these kids. I will be what I needed and deserved in the classroom.

My passions trigger each other. I could cry, and do - thinking about where I am now. And somedays, the voices of those teachers claw at my back. I second guess my first passion because of the trauma involved with my second one. Swallowing those memories down is easier.

What's hard is now is stepping away from either of my passions. They consume me and I let it. In my everyday life, leisure and workplace. I love it here. I can't stay away from writing to save my life because being close to it is what saves me.

And there are 6 kids in my first year of teaching that I'm seeing progressively grow, that im so invested in. It's a blessing to be loving life as much as I do right now. I cry and praise God for my passions. I thank Him for placing me exactly where I'm meant to be; with my passions.