Overcoming my movie theater anxiety

The beginning after watching Doctor Strange 2 Multiverse of Madness.

I used to love going to a movie theater as in I went once a week every weekend as soon as the movie theaters opened back up after lockdown but after watching Doctor Strange 2 Multiverse of Madness everything changed. As of now I have anxiety and fear every time I even think about going to a movie theater. And it makes it seem like my heart is beating so much faster than normal. When I watched the second Doctor Strange before I got on a medication for my heart. I was excited at first and then when scenes of Wanda being the antagonist began and traveling the multiverse.

I felt my heart beating so fast. I had to focus on my deep breathing and keep my eyes closed. Throughout the entire film. By the time we came out my mom saw my face and I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but I wasn’t. Now I have huge anxiety to the point sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start I’m nervous or feel like it could happen again, or I focus more on my heart making it seem like it’s beating just as fast but it’s not. I don’t show physical signs of anxiety I box it up and hold it in.

I thought maybe it’s because the movie was very scary, and I don’t watch horror films. I went to the ER in 2019 for tachycardia but I was never told what caused it and it never went away I just learned how to live with it until in late June I went to a doctor and was prescribed a medication to help my heart which is working by regulating my heart and all the tests they run were clear. And before all this. I used to and still watch action movies and mystery, suspense, thriller, romance, mystery, fantasy, and comedy. All at a theater and at home. And yet my ass cannot handle watching a marvel movie something I used to love watching? Though phase 4 hasn’t been the best but that doesn’t mean I should be afraid to watch those movies.

Does it sound like there’s something messing with me?

November 11, 2022

Day One

I wanted to start getting over my anxiety by watching movies at home to try and assure myself that I can go back to a theater and watch a movie without anxiety. My goal is to work myself up to watching Doctor Strange 2 and Thor Love and Thunder two of the first Marvel Movies that I have never finished due to my anxiety. I feel if I can watch those even at home, I can get over my anxiety of watching a movie at the movie theater. My goal is to slowly get over this fear by the time Avatar Way of the Water comes out to the theaters December 16, 2022. A movie I’ve been wanting to watch since Avatar first came out. After Doctor Strange I did watch a few movies at the movie theater such as Buzz Lightyear, Top Gun Maverick twice, and Downton Abbey I believe. I looked forward to watching all of these movies, so I was able to relax and watch them with ease. Now Black Adam, Black Panther 2, and Ticket to Paradise are all out at the theater. I would love to watch all of them, but I’m terrified about trying to watch them because I’m afraid of that Anxiety. I love Dwayne Johnson, and Black Panther is one of my favorites and Ticket to Paradise is a Rom Com I know I will love that. But that fear is still in the back of my mind. So, I begin my journey to watch some films to help with my anxiety at least two per night. I’m going to try and watch some movies I haven’t seen yet or have wanted to watch but I haven’t done it yet. If I can’t find a movie, I will watch something I’ve seen a long time ago and that may provide a bit of anxiety that I can hopefully face. I’m watching these alone in my room with the light on. Tonight, I choose 50 First Dates and Don’t Worry Darling.

I began to watch 50 first dates which was a very good film with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I wanted to watch it for a while but felt it was a good place to begin watching a romantic comedy something I enjoy watching a lot. I knew the summary of the movie already, but I still enjoyed watching it. It was very good, and I enjoyed it a lot and would watch it again. I’m going to begin watching Don’t Worry Darling due to being a bit nervous about it because a lot of people said it didn’t make sense. But I want to watch it and feel that I can watch it.

Don’t Worry Darling

WTF? I’m so confused about the show what happened and what was going on. I’m so glad I didn’t watch it in theaters. It was okay and Harry Styles I don’t know how to describe him in it. I loved Florence Pugh, Olivia Wilde, and Gemma Chan. But nothing else about it was good to me.

Where the Crawdads Sing

I began to read the book on vacation but was struggling with it because I wasn’t a fan of the writing style, but I enjoyed the plot. I watched this movie, and it was so good from start to finish it didn’t bore me. It was a beautiful movie with a great plot and at the end I was in tears. It was so good I would want to finish the book though I already know the ending and I know the book is better than the movie, but I will try to finish reading it and watch it again. I was not disappointed it was so good! The ending was just something that touched my heart it was so good.

The Good Nurse

It’s hard to believe that a nurse could be a Serial Killer. An occupation to protect and help those that are sick and ill. Yet that is what this movie was about. I was so shocked when watching it though it is nothing compared to the real-life events. It was mind-blowing to watch Charles Cullen kill innocent people because no one was there to stop him. Amy Loughren working to take care of her daughters and to have the money to cover her health. How she had to protect her family by putting away this man she thought was her friend. It takes a lot of courage to do those things and she managed to do it.

Ticket to Paradise

I’m a Rom Com lover so seeing this movie was so good. This was the first time I was watching a movie in the Movie Theater since Buzz Lightyear. It was nearly empty so there weren’t many people maybe seven or eight including my mom and me. The minute it started I was laughing because it was so funny to see how the movie came to be. Julie Roberts and George Clooney have so much chemistry on and off the screen. It was a funny plot and memorable something I will watch many times in the future.

Captain America Civil War

I was preparing to watch Black Panther Wakanda Forever in the theater. So of course, I watched the first movie where we see T’Challa and that was Captain America Civil War. One of my favorite movies and seeing Chadwick Boseman made me feel emotional. After watching this movie, I gave Thor Love and Thunder a shot.

Thor Love and Thunder

I tried to watch this movie in the theaters in the Philippines. I fell asleep in it because I was scared to watch but also due to my high anxiety. I watched it again after Captain America Civil War. It was okay though I’m not a huge fan of the Thor Movies so that is probably why I didn’t like it. It was boring and just didn’t catch my attention. So, I felt it was a waste of my time and that I didn’t like it the first time for good reason.

Black Panther

This was one of my favorite movies in the Marvel Universe, so I watched it to prepare for the second movie. It feels like no matter how many times I watch this Movie I feel I am watching it all over again. It is so good and will never let me down. Shuri and T’challa’s relationship is so beautiful I just love it so much.

Black Panther Wakanda Forever

The next movie that I watched in the theater was Black Panther Wakanda Forever. It was the first Marvel Movie since watching Thor Love and Thunder. I was very nervous due to it being a Marvel movie and that I was in the same theater that I watched Dr. Strange 2 in. I rewatched the First Black Panther movie the night before so I would remember the plot. I’ve always loved Black Panther, so I was excited and anxious. I sat down in the movie theater and felt some anxiety at the opening credits until the movie finally began. I cried softly when I saw the tribute to Chadwick Boseman in the opening credits and in T’challa’s funeral. I sat in the theater and watched the movie I loved it just as much as I loved the first movie.

Top Gun

A family favorite film that I have seen so many times and will never get sick of it. My dad loved this movie so it’s something close to my heart and when I found out about the second film, I was so excited to watch it. Now I have them both on digital and I love to watch them. The original is so amazing to see how young the actors are and how they work in the first film and seeing that the technology back then wasn’t that good. It gives a peak to how the world was back then without advanced technology. Seeing how old the planes were and how everyone worked to pilot them. Just a beautiful film with a great cast, lots of humor, drama, Ego, and plot. Overall, it’s amazing.

Top Gun Maverick

I knew without a doubt from the first trailer I knew this movie was going to be just as good as the first one. Seeing more advanced Technology, Maverick, Hangman, Bob, Rooster, and Phoenix. One of the best movies I have seen, and it didn’t let me down. Bob honestly looks like my dad when he was younger so seeing his character made me smile so much. Watching Phoenix show off her skills even being a woman was perfection. Rooster reminding me so much of Goose just like his dad he’s kind and caring but still one of the best. Maverick the same as ever but learning to be a better man even though he was protecting Rooster In many ways he still showed his love and care.

Today is December 12, 2022 and My goal when I was watching all these movies is to prepare to watch Avatar Way of the Water at the Movie Theater and Black Adam, and Black Panther Wakanda Forever. Though I still feel anxiety I am excited to go to the theater December 17, 2022 and watch Avatar Way of the Water. A movie I have been so excited to watch since Avatar which is one of my top movies. I know it is going to be amazing I don’t know if it will beat the first movie, but it will be just as good! Though I still have my movie theater anxiety I know that I am safe to watch it just takes time. When I am watching in a theater now, I need to have snacks, and something to fiddle with if I feel anxiety. So far, I haven’t had the same feelings I did when I watched Doctor Strange. Though I know I cannot watch Ant Man in the theater when I saw the trailer I got scared and had to look away. I may not be able to watch that in theaters, but I can watch it at home. Though I may not be able to watch Doctor Strange 2 ever again I will still try later. For now, I must continue to pace myself and be gentle and know my mom is supporting me no matter what.