Oops, I Accidentally Forgot to Write
What am I paying for Vocal+ for, anyway?
This always happens. I shell out $50 or whatever on an annual membership to get access to all the cool member’s-only doohickeys and the better rate of pay, only to completely forget about Vocal when things pick up in my personal life. Stuff has been happening, y’all, stuff that I can write about! Guys, I went to Europe! I saw dozens of plays! I’ve kept up to date on One Piece! There are dozens of things I can write about—literal dozens—but do I write about them? Hell, no. That’s not the way old Steve functions, no, sir.
I think this speaks to a larger problem in the writer’s existential question, especially in this economy. Every writer that I’ve had the chance to sit down with, from Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Lynn Nottage (hey! That’s something else I can write about!) to the Edgar Allen Poe / Charles Dickens impersonator who used to patronize my childhood library (whose real name I don’t know because he goes by “Willy Shakespeare” on Facebook) has dispensed this advice: Keep writing. It’s simple. Super simple. A monkey on a typewriter could do it. Have I done it? No. Should I have done it? Yes. Absolutely. No doubt. So why haven’t I? Why do I continue to make excuses?
If I want to make it in this industry—if any of us want to make it in this industry—especially, dear readers, dear friends, dear rivals, dear sworn enemies, in this weird and easily-quantifiable attention-economy that has developed in recent years—I need to sit down, turn off the music blasting the thoughts right out of my brain, and make words happen. It’s easy. Super easy. A million monkeys on a million typewriters could do it. Am I a monkey on a typewriter?
I would like to update you on what’s been happening in my life—not to list off excuses, mind you, though that’s the instinct that my monkey-on-a-typewriter-brain is definitely leaning heavily on, but rather to contextualize things. I’ve recently found myself irreparably addicted to em-dashes. I went to Europe, visited ten countries, spent ten days in Ukraine, got my heart broken twice. I paid $1000 to avoid a two-day layover in Reykjavik instead of taking the opportunity to explore a bit because I was tired. I got really, really, really into dividend investing. I wrote a play about a woman who falls in love with an AI version of Shakespeare and gets really, really sad about it. I redoubled my efforts to learn Ukrainian on Duolingo. I got scammed by a Polish transit cop. I learned that I don’t like Poland very much. Those previous two things might be related. I bought a ton of fridge magnets. I began work in earnest on my Master’s Thesis, have been transcribing and translating and interviewing and freewriting every moment of my spare time. So much of my life can be put to words. So many of those words can be put on this site. So many of those words can earn me $0.006/read. My life is so easy to monetize, so why the hell am I not doing that?
This article is not meant to call myself out, or to shame myself into writing. This article was written with the intention to vomit. I am a strong writer, as are many of you; you just don’t find the time to monetize your life. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe you’re out there living life, not worried if the transit cop that’s scamming you out of sixty bucks on this Polish bus at 1am will make a good story that’ll net you twenty cents. I don’t claim to know what’s going on with you. Write. Or don’t.
About the Creator
Steven Christopher McKnight
Disillusioned twenty-something, future ghost of a drowned hobo, cryptid prowling abandoned operahouses, theatre scholar, prosewright, playwright, aiming to never work again.
Venmo me @MickTheKnight
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Comments (17)
Lol. This is exactly how my mind talks to itself. "You could write about that, you know." "Yes, but who gives a shit? And I'd have to actually sit down and CRAFT it. And that takes effort." Am I monkey with a typewriter? Well. Here's the question of the century. Short answer: I don't even think I could understand how to properly USE a typewriter. Does that make me dumber than a monkey? Sorry I missed this one! You gonna catch us up on some of those stories, by chance? 😉
Ukraine, heart broken, twice. I smell a few interesting stories there. And you just reminded me I paid $50 for another writing site and still need to remember to put something online over there.
very nice ,congratulations!
I enjoyed reading this! Congratulations 🎉
At least you are having an exciting life. Enjoy yourself. One day you will share.
Whoaaaa, that's like soooo many awesome things that happened! Except for the heartbreaks. I'm so sorry about that. Congratulations on your Top Story!
Got in a somewhat similar situation in Poland a while ago. Not exactly scammed and not exactly by a transit cop, but pretty much close to that. Haha, still planning to go visit Poland in a month. Learning Ukrainian sounds great (but I think Duolingo is a bad teacher, its slow tempo and repetitive tasks freak me out faster than I can learn anything there). Cheers! Personally I wouldn't mind if you wrote here more often :-D
This whole thing was an adventure, to say the least. I especially enjoyed the abrupt transition here: "I got scammed by a Polish transit cop. I learned that I don’t like Poland very much. Those previous two things might be related. I bought a ton of fridge magnets." Sorry that happened to you, but I agree you'll get a pretty twenty cents back by sharing that incident here. I hope you don't forget to write again. I enjoyed this tremendously (I even used an adverb) and would love to read more from you.
Superb work! Keep it up—congratulations!
This is so me haha, I feel your pain. Sometimes it just feels like my life couldn't be interesting enough for someone else to read about
Excited I am about this tale I’m writing Yesterday in love with it Today, myself I’m fighting It’s a whirlwind romance with paper and pen Ink kisses paper who turns it’s cheek Then skipped a day, tis a mortal sin Life has a way of being in your face Just when your mind goes to a waste Don’t sweat it, it’s not a race
Its easy to say you'll sit and write every Dammn Day, I've said it and done it. But the reality is LIfe Happens and for whatever reason you don't. But I've also gone through steaks whee I wrote every day, Some days its was 1000 words or more. Some days it was 200 or less, a few times less than 50. But I get words down every day. So I KNOW I can do it. But Do I? Uh no. Ideally, I try not to miss more than 2 days of something. In this case, writing. This is particularly a thing when I'm writing a book. Which I'm not right now. I finished the 5th Of my James St.James mystery early this year after it took over a year to write 80,000 plus words. I've decided not to write another book for a while. Right now I'm concentrating on my monthly stories, WHich I haven't missed in well over two years. Some months I can write the story for the first time and it goes pretty fast. Some months Not So Much., and I have to restart several times before I have something I can build a story on. The November went long because it required much more research than I usually have to do. This meant it was later getting done, then took longer to edit down to a reasonable length. I know what I'm capable of doing, But I rarely live up to it regularly, BUt I didn't beat myself up over it.. Too Much.. '
At least your not sitting on your ass doing nothing. I count that as a win in life. write when you can and when you want.
So relatable, so relevant. Now I'm gonna go and do some writing lol.
This is great. Yes, you do have a lot to write about when you're ready. Congrats on the TS.
So glad you decided to write this, it was refreshing to hear. One day I write a great story and next I have writers block! Lol Thank you for your transparency in this piece, glad it got Top Story. Also, I was pulled in my the duck 👏 😂 good move
Damn. Now I'm subscribed to you. Bring it on, dude. I am here for your writing when you get around to it.