My Cottage Industry (part 7)

If there's anything I miss about full-time work, it's the consistency. I liked the face that, no matter what the day had in store, there would always be a paycheck waiting for me at the end of it all. Sometimes that paycheck was the only thing to keep me going through the drudgery of the day. On the flip-side, when you decide to set out and start a small business the exact opposite is true: if it's something you truly love doing, in spite of the drudgery, you never come to think of it as work... but a paycheck at the end of it all is never guaranteed.

That's why it's so risky to pursue entrepreneurship in the first place: many things can (and inevitably do) go wrong. If you're not savvy enough with your currently available resources, certain financial deficiencies are going to sneak up on you. If you lack the proper planning phase before launching a big project, the outcome turns disasterous. And if there's not enough of a demand for what it is you're selling, you're gonna fall behind the herd and miss out on big opportunities.

In case you were wondering, yes, I am speaking from personal experience. And in case you happened to guess it, yes, I am going back to work full-time.

Soon.

It's actually an idea I've been kicking around for a while, ever since I first realized I had to re-strategize my business model (and basically start all over). Accepting the fact that my original plans weren't working - and frankly were never going to work out - was a pretty bitter pill to swallow. Heartbreaking at times, to tattle on myself. It meant that everything I had worked and saved and sacrificed for was all in vain.

At least, that's how it seemed at first.

I can't speak for everyone in the same situation, but for me, whilst I was experiencing this second existential crisis, I had to ask myself: what do I really want out of life? And, more importantly, what don't I really want? It was a hard question to answer, simply because it made me fess up to the fact that I changed so much from who I used to be - from the woman who first made these plans to begin with.

A person can change so much and so quickly with in such a short span of time (in my case, a little less than 18 months). It can all knock you through one hell of a loop - especially if you're trying to start a business.

My aspirations haven't changed in the slightest: I still want to make a living doing what I love - preferably for the rest of my life. But, between changing times and new challenges in my life (I'm sure you must be acquainted with my puppy by now), and a desperate need to step into this new life I am now apart of, it's time to give myself some grace and step back for a little while.

Going back to work was never part of the plan before, but it needs to be now. I maintain that it was the right time to leave my old job a year ago, but I now realize it really wasn't the right time to start a full-time business, you know?

And, in keeping with honesty, I'm not sad that I'm going back to work so soon. In fact, I actually feel a elated.

For one thing, I love the shop that I'll be apart of; I have patronized it myself for years and never had a bad experience. For another thing, it will offer me the chance to be more involved with one of my greatest loves, and the chance to learn more about that industry (though I have no interest in jumping into that one any time soon... we'll see how the next twenty years go).

But most importantly, and this is the best part, it'll give me the chance to get back into the world again.

Maybe that was all that was really missing.

Edited: 2/18/24