MY AFFINITY WITH CEMETERIES

It may seem strange to imagine finding peace

and tranquility in this odd place.

I have developed the habit of visiting beautiful cemeteries.

Sometimes I go there to exercise.

Sometimes I go there just to walk and stop to visit and speak with

the occupants of the many lovely marble houses.

There are humble, well tended abodes,

With flowers adorning the landscape of the dearly departed.

Blended in with angelic nymphs and cherubs silently guarding their

resting loved ones. They sleep.

Sometimes accompanied by the occasional little visitor.

I will sit for hours just reading and enjoying the quiet.

I developed this habit shortly after I lost my mother.

She passed away while I was out of the country.

Life circumstances prevented me from seeing her for the last time.

I was not present at her funeral.

These visits somehow make me feel close to her.

She is saying that it is ok, She understands.

My mother was the matriarch of the neighborhood.

Everyone came to her about their problems.

They brought their children to be fed and clothed when difficulty arose.

There was nothing too large or too small that she would not get handled.

The word NO did not exist for her.

Three women resonated for me as a child.

My grandmother Morelda. My mother Murdena and my aunt Mary.

All three equal in their humanity.

I am just now realizing that all three have names starting with M.

Kindness, beauty and grace made them all stand out as mothers.

There were seven of us kids being reared at home.

Yet somehow, between raising us on a very narrow budget and tending to

others, our home magically functioned. Our childhood was a hazy memory of the many people who passed through and who got the help they needed.

We never missed out on school or went hungry.

Our mother micro managed and accomplished her task.

She did receive a great deal of help from my Aunt Mary and together they

faced the many challenges.

In their own quiet ways they shaped my life to find beauty and kindness despite the many trials that life presented.

They backed their will with steel and strength, never undeterred.

I have lovely pictures of my mother, but at this time they are unfortunately locked in storage in another city.

Covid and all happened. You know the rest.

My mother met many grandchildren and a few great grandchildren. But the others, great grands and beyond will have to know her through pictures and the many stories of her life and kindness.

Memories are wonderful, but they can also be a little painful.

Great memories and not so great memories. Still we cherish them and

keep them in our hearts forever.

Her life was hard, my mother.

And looking back as an adult, there is so much I wish that I could have done to make her life easier.

That never stopped her in the least from opening her heart to all. If it is the last slice of bread she is giving it to someone and denying herself.

Selflessness is what I learned.

She was always saying "THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU WILL RECEIVE".

She did not necessarily mean getting material things. Sometimes it is the satisfaction of helping someone in need.

It can make your day.

My mother was a simple woman. It took little to make her happy. She was content just to be herself.

She is the stuff that great mothers are made of.

Truthfully, sometimes as a child I resented her for spending so much time with others when I needed her attention.

But, when you did receive your share of the attention it was all worthwhile.

Still, my mother was not to be trifled with.

She was stubborn, discipline oriented and had an unwavering moral

compass.

We had to toe that line.

We only needed the "look" to get our little behinds in line.

We never needed the rod, just the look.

When it came to us choosing our life's path she had big dreams for us.

I am sure some of us disappointed her a little bit, but nevertheless

she was always encouraging.

Many times when I have been in difficult and even dangerous situations from which I escaped or emerged mostly unscathed, I attribute the charm of my mother's life being overflowed to me as good karma.

I am basking in her many blessings, there were a lot, so I need not worry about it ever running out.

Her principles have stuck with me, and though I may or may not measure up to her expectations, I try to do my best.

I am a mom. I hope I am instilling the correct basic principles into the lives that depend on me to shape them.

I had and still have some very precious teachers.

Picture (cover) by Julia Kadel