Memories: 3 January 2023

3 January 2024

A quiet day. It rained most of the day and was grey and overcast. In the afternoon some sunshine smiled upon us, so I took Charley for a walk and we visited Rosie, then Blueboy and finally Peter and Rusty (Koko was out with Robyn).

I was in a strange mood today. My nervous system was all jangled like tentacles reaching out into the cosmos. I feel a shift of some kind but I could not discern if it was positive or negative but I felt like I had ADHD I was so easily distracted and well, anxious and hypervigilant.

I made two vlogs for YouTube. So that took up most of my morning until 2 pm. Exhausting. But I get a lot of comfort from it also, especially reaching spiritual epiphanies or seeing the same patterns emerging. Year after year after year!

In the evening I installed the new microwave that Lyn picked up for me on sale for $41 (I gave her the money!) It’s been sitting on my kitchen floor for a few days. I needed to set it up so I have floor space, as a replacement cleaning lady is coming tomorrow.

3 January 2023

3 January 2022

4:40 am I have given up on getting any more sleep. After that nightmare I was up all night. My poor bladder. Annoying. I went out just now to gaze a few moments at the sunrise. It’s supposed to be good for you. However I am so tired that any benefits of that low level radiation were lost on my retinas.

I have skin cancers blooming on my back again. They itch and hurt according to their whims. I lathered gotu kola cream on them and they responded by stinging. Not pleasant. I am due to see the skin doctor but dread it.

Still I need to get them checked…I suppose.

Spirit has been showing me an image the past few days of a giant steel colander. Turning slowly as if opening a portal or releasing energy (I presume through the holes where water would pour through in a drain of a sink).

No idea what that even means but I am bordering on a psychosis after lack of sleep and the feeling of abandonment I get at this time of year. It’s like an intense oppression.

Most of my neighbours have gone on holiday so I should be making use of this time to smash out more copper bangles as there are few left to bitch about the noise. But I am not motivated at the moment.

Also nothing sold so that is distressing. Once again my work is devalued, undermined or stymied. What’s the point?

But I will carry on making things I suppose. It’s just a distraction while I mark out my time, awaiting Death.

…

12:17 am I just woke up from another nightmare. This time it was about my daughter Crystal opening a restaurant. It was opening night and the restaurant was full of customers. Lots of children that I was trying hard to entertain while Crystal cooked.

But after people started getting fractious about their meals not arriving I went to check on her. She had made a small bowl of potato salad with only very large uncut potatoes.. There was not enough food to feed a busy restaurant.

I flew into a rage as I kept saying that I had had two chefs offer their services that day but I had turned them away as I had trusted in my daughter’s capabilities.

During the dreamscape (before I discovered the meals were not arriving) I had been swanning around the restaurant like a diva and had admired the children’s clothing. One little girl had a salmon pink velvet skirt and matching top in some light voile (the dress was salmon pink).

I admonished the child for crushing the thick double velvet and her parents and grandparents smiled at me with gratitude as after all, kids have no concept of the value of double velvet and the little girl was roughhousing with all the other children. (Hmmm who does that remind me of?”).

I looked across at another table and it had my former “suitor” Steph sitting there with his flaming red hair and glasses, sorta staring at me like a lost boy (as he does in real life!) with three or four women. My heart sank. I had not expected to have customers in the restaurant that I knew from the past. I gave him a warm friendly smile.

There was also a lift that looked like a Victorian style glass elevator which was curved up and down stairs like on an elliptical trajectory (instead of straight up and down) I asked the children if they wanted a ride in the “ufo” lift. A few got in with me and they loved it.

But by the end of the dream I was apologising to everyone about the lack of food and their time being wasted.

I woke up with a jolt of shock as it felt so real. I felt bad for yelling at my daughter who was trying so hard to establish her new restaurant.

I wanted to tell her she was a success for working so very hard at her dreams of being a restaurant owner and next time we would hire a chef! But the dream was ended and the smoke of reality had supplanted it and I knew it was too late. The damage was done.

I got up to pee and then grabbed a sip of water. Feeling wrung out, dehydrated and exhausted from my brain which never stops.

The dream had me behaving like a narcissist and I did not like the feeling of failure or having to tell customers there was no food prepared.

I could have prepped food for my daughter but in the dream she rejected my help in the kitchen and left me out front of house to entertain or hostess the people.

Interesting.

But now I must launch back into sleep. Laila Tov!

3 January 2021

3 January 2020

1:11 am. Make a wish. C’est la vie. La vie en Rose. Dream big. Dream beautifully. Sei Gesund. Love is the Law. (Back off all ye feckless Tricksters!) I

I call upon the ancestors, angels and Fae that love me and have my back to reveal true hearts and minds and slough off the rest. With no harm, no foul but a gentle purging. Like a cool bath on a hot day.

Can the sea monkeys gift me enough money to buy my much desired and needed air conditioner and let’s go a little crazy (why not?) and ask the multiverses for a swimming pool too???

Australia is burning. I am dying and I want to live opulently before I dry out like a flat dessicated lizard.

But then, on the other hand, the gods kept me safe here even in my abject poverty. I am hot as hades and just as dry but happy in my own way.

So it’s not so bad. So many many people and wildlife have died for no good reason but the malevolence of arsonists and climate change deniers. A genocide in plain sight but still no one is fighting back. I am alive still. A reward for what? Not dying in infancy or as prey to sexual predators.

Mind blowing.

3 January 2019

Watching Bird Box. Utterly terrifying movie but very well made.

…

Meditating on one of my heart-shaped rocks I was briefly shown the image of an isosceles triangle with a triskele inside it.

I tried to google the meaning but only got a triangle with a triquetra inside it which means “enduring” and is called a Mairsinn knot.

Close enough I guess. No idea what that image means for me personally but time will tell. :-)

…

Lying in my hammock, reading, resting, musing...I got an urge to listen to Leonard Cohen sing “Hallelujah”. A few moments into the song I saw 4:44 pm on my iPhone so googled the meaning of that.

Apparently I am on my right path and in harmonic resonance with the gods and they are pleased with me. Two synchronicities in a few minutes is rather powerful. I shall see what manifests.

I was feeling unsettled and anxious earlier but now calm and peaceful. Being loved by the spirit world has great benefits!

…

3 January 2018

Today is the day that Crystal arrives back in Brisbane. I have no idea what time. She is being picked up by her friends. Psy sighs. I guess I have to just let it all go. The anxiety and the broiling excitement. Too many unrequited loves have made me an emotional wreck.

I am going to go to Carindale to buy the decoupage varnish stuff but the lawnmower man is due today so not sure what time. So I might have to wait until he arrives.

Jarrod is coming to see me at 1:30 pm. That will be nice. We have missed Crystal and he knows I have gotten myself all verklempt over her imminent arrival.

3 January 2017

Swishing my mouth with coconut oil and 3 drops of tea tree oil. Not tasty but my tongue looks much better. Hopefully the pain goes away. I can't keep taking strong Panadol forever. Ugh!

3 January 2016

I was amazed to observe my beautiful women friends gently move into a circle surrounding me on the dance floor last night. An enemy who has caused me endless irritation and at times distress was attempting to intimidate me.

I am not afraid of her but the last time she harassed me, led to a rather disturbing chain of events. I just turned my back on her as really, she is so mentally disturbed that she has a huge envy of me based on what? Who knows?

But my women friends gently protected me as they feared another situation where I might (understandably!) lose my patience with the woman and knowing full well how the casino vilified me instead last time, they protected me. I felt very much loved and cared for.

Let's face it! We all have so much fun together. Primarily because we share our talents, our joy in dancing and music and our fun and laughter, without envy or judgement, we support each other in that space.

We, to quote Moana, 'Congratulate, don't denigrate!' I loved that. It is wonderful to be a part of a group of women who are beautiful, mature, wise and encouraging of each other.

Thank You! It was a rare and unusual experience to see you all rally around me.

As it says in The Witches Rede "An' Harm Ye None, Do what thou Will!"

…

I was out in the garden with the animals. John my crazy Romanian neighbour, comes over. "Kid, kid, can you give me a lift to the pub?" I said "No, you've been badly behaved and threatened to rape me, so no lift for you".

He acted like he didn't remember. (Probably didn't). He apologised and kept asking did he really say that? I said "Yeah, why would I make something like that up. I threatened to cut your throat and you thought it was funny".

He said "it is funny". I said "No it is insane! Also you gotta worry as my psychiatrist says I might kill the next person who abuses me. That is serious shit, dude. Don't ever disrespect me like that again".

"I didn't mean it. I was drunk".

"I know. That is why it is getting dangerous. You don't remember what you say to women. That is why you are alone."

Then I told him he should limit his drinking with his swollen ankles, his diabetes will get out of control and they will amputate your feet". He said "Bullshit". I said "Bullshit nothing, that is what happens to diabetics who don't look after themselves".

He wandered up to Jenny's house to ask her to drive him. She is a registered nurse. But maybe she doesn't mind rape threats as much as I do.

I told him, the last man who threatened to rape me outside the casino I chased into the middle of Elizabeth St and told him I hoped he got run over.

John looked horrified. Good!

…

3.50 am in a hot Epsom salt bath. Very sore feet. We all had fun dancing. Good to be home though. Some good looking Irishman with lovely curly hair followed me walking down to Margaret St. Then he asked me for a light for his cigarette.

I wasn't frightened but a bit alarmed that I had not heard him coming up behind me. He was ok. Didn't hassle me or anything. I had my high-heeled boots off and was walking in my stockings so if he had jumped me I would have taken an eye out with my stilettoes.

Glad that didn't happen. Not worth the jail time lol. I got to my car safely, ate some leftover kfc chicken then drove home.

Kelly Anne: Why Epsom salts in bath?

Me: Magnesium to alleviate muscle cramps and jagged nerve endings in my legs, arthritic knee and feet which spasm from dancing in high heels. I tried flat shoes but the pain is pretty much the same.

I have had Septic Arthritis in 2012 so basically any exercise flares everything up. I make myself dance each weekend as the exercise is good for my lungs and Toning but I can really only manage one night now.

It takes me 4 days of bed rest to recover. All good. I am determined to have fun before I die. 😕

Kelly Anne: Oh u precious joy of a human! I get the most severe muscle cramps imaginable to my doctor. It NEVER occurred to me to use Mg in Epsom salts that way. Feckn brilliant! SO gonna try that ASAP.

I've had arthritis since a child but it's not that I worry about so much cos Vicks, Metsal or deep heat do the job of keeping all that in check as I can reach all the parts that hurt & rub stuff into it to make it feel better.

Nan used to rub turps onto her legs to ease her pain. I don't know about the safety of that idea but I've occasionally been driven to consider cheap alternatives but never actually dared to try it yet.

The nerve damage I have in my back causes muscle spasms in my intercostal muscles in my back towards my spine where I cannot reach to rub in deep heat etc.

I've been begging for help with it for years because that pain floors me -literally. My legs go weak & just won't hold me up.

I knew about the connection between Mg & cramping but never thought of a using Epsom salts in a bath before.

Thank you SO much! So glad I met you! 🙂

Me: Hot as you like bath, 3 big handfuls of Epsom salts. You can add herbs like Rosemary, lavender, peppermint thyme in a little cloth sachet or their essential oils. Just yummy! But I love soaking in a hot bath after a frenetic night out.

I am known for chatting on Paltalk (cam off of course). The men thought it was hilarious when I let them hear the sound of water going down my drain anti-clockwise down under and the extraordinarily loud gurgling sucking noises my housing commission plumbing makes. They were still laughing for weeks after.

I also watch Netflix Tv shows while in the bath on my laptop or iPhone sat next to me on the laundry hamper. I know how to look after myself in style!

3 January 2015

Today I visited with Crystal, some of her friends. They had a beautiful Cockatoo the husband offered to give me. The wife said No, she loves him too much. He was a beautiful bird but I said I wouldn't take him as he loved the husband so very much.

I spent some time talking to him. (The Bird, not the husband). They said the cockatoo hated strangers and would squawk at them but Charlie and I got along fine. He even nibbled my fingers a bit but he didn't let me give him scratches.

They had a lovely dog too, part Rottweiler-German Shephard. I love making friends with people's pets.

3 January 2014

Well Spank my Arse and call me Judy!

John my crazy Romanian neighbour who claims to have once been a vet but is now a chronic drunk has kept Tabitha alive for another 24 hours. Gobsmacked!

He gave her 6 mls of Beer of all things. Sent her home with me with instructions to give her milk in the syringe. She is drunk as a dying chicken but still in with a fighting chance.

I am amazed as I expected to be adding her to the Pet cemetery under my Tulip tree today. I think she just might live. So awesome!

…

I have come down with sinus problems and a sore throat. Great...bloody sick again. Ffs!!!!!

3 January 2013

Yesterday evening has been so spiritual and enriching on Paltalk. Wonderful positive encouraging chats and so much healing! I am so Happy and Blessed! Just Wow!

…

I am sooo Happy right now! 2013 and Beyond are going to be Awesome! I am going to be Awesomer! Life finally makes sense!

…

2.11 am. Time for Dreams but still so very Happy!

3 January 2012

Gail and Tayhlia came and visited and we had a nice afternoon, then went to Macca's for dinner. It's a lovely evening. Lyn is coming to visit me tomorrow so that will be nice too.

…

Pleasant day yesterday and mellow day today. Sun is shining, it's a tad too humid which means a potential storm tonight (sigh!), birds are chirping, everyone peaceful, and I am a tad bored...bring on the stormy weather LMAO.

3 January 2011

Copyright: Tanya Désirée Arons