Memories: 17 September 2023

17 September 2023

2:32 am I woke up after only two hours sleep. I am in a heightened state of excitement. Probably because I finished my memorial “Heart” ring at 10 pm. Now my energy is high and I can’t settle to sleep. Oh well.

…

11:39 am I woke up at 11 am with a grinding dehydrated sleep deprived sort of headache. I only got up to pee 5 times last night. Only…but then I got slammed with a weird kind of euphoria and couldn’t sleep until 4ish in the morning. I should have gone dancing and channeled all that excitement and excess energy that way.

I have observed that every time I finish a piece of jewellery that this happens. It’s like my spirit is so thrilled at my small Achievements that she rejoices internally like a bubbling brook. I wish she would rejoice by calming my bowels and bladder down. That would give me comfort and ease and a measure of peace.

It’s a glorious morning (almost moon!) and the garden is hot and dry but we are steeped in a nascent calm that presages another Shift. May it be a positive heartfelt lovely one for me. I’ve been through enough shit in 2023! It’s been a bizarre year with lots of fresh attacks: physical and psychic then the loss of Beauregard.

I must remain sanguine and stoic but keep a sense of mischief and childlike wonder in my core. Something tells me I will need to be playful and inspired to get through the next few years. (If the gods grant me more Time on this planet?)

Love is flowing to me in all vortices, vectors and directions. Someone deeply sincere and heart centred. Who? I don’t know. But I am always grateful for that joyful nourishing bliss when it arises in my spirit.

Have a beautiful day, People. I love you too!

…

17 September 2022

11:11 pm time is dragging but showing me elevenses. I wonder why?

…

11 pm. I didn’t feel well so I didn’t go dancing…and now I can’t sleep or relax so I might as well have gone out to strut my stuff. I am tempted to get dressed and throw on makeup and go out since I am so energised.

But something tells me it’s not a wise idea. Better to rest another week and see how I feel next weekend.

It’s not like I am gonna meet the love of my life out in that seedy old scene anyway. I haven’t in 12 years.

Psy sighs.

I do miss dancing though. I might play music tomorrow and dance at home.

Drumming tomorrow afternoon so that is something nice to look forward to.

…

11:24 am Up and at ‘em, my darlings! 6 hours sleep. Arggghhh. I wonder what magical miracles and rejoicing we shall manifest today?

It’s a beautiful sunny day outside. So we are already blessed and the gods are smiling.

17 September 2021

17 September 2020

So a couple of weeks ago I was in Dan Murphy’s with my friend Margot and her two young children. We stopped to admire the glass skull bottles (which have Vodka in it!)

I made the comment that I want an empty bottle to go with my bottle collection. Last night I found one for sale on Marketplace. So I am off to Indooroopilly to pick it up in an hours time.

The funny thought is that I have been very fortunate in getting what my little heart desires lately.

I am also searching for another Balinese bench seat to match the one I already have as dining furniture. A nice antique one was available but it was $600 so out of my price range but I know when the time is right and I have enough money the right one will land in my lap.

I wish I were as lucky with my love life as I am with manifesting items I need/want around the house! Lmao!

…

…

Julie Butler recommended “My Octopus Teacher” on Netflix. It is truly wonderful.

It made me homesick for Island Bay that had similar kelp forests. I was once grabbed around the ankle by an octopus while wading in the shallow streams between the first and second channel. I screamed so loudly that several neighbourhood men ran to find out what was wrong.

My octopus “teacher” did not relinquish my ankle easily. Lol. I later saw it as karma for all the times my father captured octopi in buckets of sea water and had me gently poke their suckers to feel their reactions.

After seeing this film I realise that it probably just was curious about my luminous white flesh wading through its territory. But I was 7 so hadn’t understood that!

17 September 2019

11:11 am. Good morning from the multiverses. ;-)

…

Wherever Ye be...be thine own self. True to your own nature. Speak thy truth. Head held high. Gaze into the souls of others. Shrink from no man woman or child.

If you don’t like what you see or your own gaze is not welcome...walk on by and be free. Blessèd. Smile into the Void. Sooner or later they will come.

The ones who See you as you are in all your bright uniqueness. Who will love you without fear or judgement. Who will honour you. Wholeheartedly and wholesomely. It might not be a human. And that is okay. :-)

…

A storm is coming...ohhhh the Frisson. Praise be let it rainnnnn!

17 September 2018

…

Crystal has found a Shaman willing to work with me. He does Vulcanic healing. I have to giggle as I have no idea what that involves but being an Aries with a fiery spirit, and the emblem of the burning bush tattooed on my left upper arm how could I expect anything less than Vulcanism. Lol.

17 September 2017

I had a Prejudicial childhood, a fraught dangerous adulthood. And now I enter The Twilight Zone where the last few years (or Be'Ezrat HaShem! Decades) I get to bring Light and wisdom to my world, radiantly blissfully shining through all the cracks in my psyche, spirit and broken down but healed body.

I have earnt my right and privilege to be Happy, to be Loved and to live in peace and freedom. I take up my space in this place and I face my life (all of it) with Awareness, Clarity and respect for my journey and life experiences.

…

…

Meanwhile in a shule near you…

17 September 2016

4.42 am. Omg. A magical and wild night. My casino friends bought me drinks and even spoiled me with casino chocolates. I had a fantastic time. So surprised and grateful as I did not think after today's horror and epic disappointment that I could weave shit into spiritual Gold yet again. Especially with my slaughtered heart.

But sometimes the Angels of mayhem and mischief throw me a bone. I could not have anticipated such love in the room and such admiration.

It just goes to show that warriors have to do what they do best. Keep getting up, keep fighting/dancing/ being awesome. A serious handicap like mine is quickly forgiven by souls that vibe together.

Madness is contagious. It surrounds me. Brings me absurdist clarity and humour. It is sometimes so hard to live with. This great gift of trauma. But when it shines a light in strangely dark places. It is magnificent.

17 September 2015

Jarrod visited and dropped off Harvey. So I get a weekend of epic Jack Russell cuddles. I burnt my toast and the smoke alarm went off. I leapt up in the air in fright and Harvey had a nervous breakdown. It took me a few minutes to calm him down. We are ok now!

…

8.53 am been up all night, stringing necklaces to wear. I also watched House of Cards. I skyped with Annie in Wales. It was lovely to see her.

I put away lots of findings the cats had kicked over. Finally getting sorted in the back room. Lots to still go through to throw out. I am sick of sitting on useless stuff that takes up space.

I had a productive night, screwing the curtain rail holders back in, so I can hang my pots properly, then re-arranged my bead curtains in the kitchen window so they are more symmetrical. It has been like a bad bout of OCD but it will pass.

I even cleared most of the kitchen bench top. Washed dishes. I still need to mop the floors but I feel like I am making progress.

Now time to schluff.

17 September 2014

My neighbour's kids were upset that their 3 goldfish died in the fire. So I said I will give them some of my babies! I said, "It won't bring these guys back but you can give them a nice funeral and then you can have some of mine".

The little girl aged about 11 was relieved and it took the sting out of the loss. Then one of her brothers said "Can I poke the dead ones ‘til their eyes pop out?" With a malevolent grin on his face. The sister gasped.

I said calmly, "No! And that is such a Boy thing to want to do!" He accepted my refusal quite readily, proving he was not a true psychopath in the making. I said to the girl, "you better have that funeral asap when you come back from the hotel!" She nodded.

Poor kid, having brothers!!! Ewww!

…

I have been outside, cleaning the fishpond filters and filling up the ponds. I watered the back garden.

Now resting a bit on my couch, feeling exhausted but I have to drive to Helensvale to pick Crystal up and drive her home.

After I saw my psych I went to Garden City and bought some art supplies. So I will be keeping busy decoupaging and painting the cases.

…

I had a debrief with my Doctor today. He said I have been riding a train of traumatic events and the woman and child in my home re-opened my own childhood issues of neglect, chaos and confusion and I had risen to the occasion to go into protector mode.

He said I am managing my trauma and even though it became very out of control with numerous events taking place at the same time, I had had some positive resolutions. Ie, chair-fighting the abusive drunk guy culminated in him being fined by police, and having to give notice to Gita as I feared for her bird and child, put me in a position that was emotionally distressing given my concerns for their welfare. He agrees that there was something very wrong with that picture.

I also told him about yesterday's fire and how only the night before that I had prayed to the universe for peace, safety and serenity and asked him when that will ever happen?

He thinks I am being made to manage my trauma and go into warrior/protector mode and this is how I am being healed. In the coal face, in the fire almost literally.

Be'ezrat Hashem, that the good lord gives me some respite. I like to be wild and help people but I have serious limitations, financial, emotional, mental and can I say, enough, already?! I really need rest and regrouping and I have had enough recurrent trauma.

…

All these organic gardening memes remind me that I need to spread the horse poo I got from Lyn and buy some sulphate of potash to help the poop nutients break down into the soil. Crystal has some rabbit poo for me too. *rubs hands together. My roses really love bunny poop.

17 September 2013

I had a lovely time with Lyn, Peter, and Puppy. Puppy gave me lots of cuddles and pats and really enjoyed the snippets of bun I gave her. She's a large cattle dog cross so we had to remind her to take food from my hand very very gently. She is Awesome. Lyn made me a nice Lamb dinner. Yum!

A storm blew through so we got to watch the lightning and the rain which was welcome after so much dryness.

17 September 2012

…

Enjoyed shul for Rosh Hashanah. Been so long I thought I'd forgotten all the hebrew prayers but I managed to Daven well. I even had an Aliyah! It was nice to meet some new people and see some old friends.

Update 17 Sep 2022: Gosh..almost Rosh Hashanah on 25 September. The old year is going out with lots of sweetness and blessings for The Tanya/Mama T…the lapsed Jew. 😉.

Be’ezrat HaShem the beautiful blessings continue to unfold exponentially this coming year…with harm to none and competition with none…so it is Done. Amen v’selah!

17 September 2008

is happy to be spending time with both her girls

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons