Me?

How About That!

There's a lot about me people don't know. For one, as my best friend forever (BFF), Al, will wholeheartedly point out, "Graham has a hard time keeping things brief and getting to the point." But aside from that, when I'm writing, I can be brief. I tried and I tried, and I tried, looking at how I was going to insert a "brief" description of myself into the "Bio" block here on Vocal Media. I (just) couldn't do it.

It's not like I haven't had practice learning to write properly. I've written short biographies of myself before. I even know how to adequately write biographies succinctly for other people and putting skills into a precis' format for use in a curriculum vitae (c.v.), i.e. resume'. I'm over sixty (60) years of age now and I've been writing for near forty (40) years, with at least thirty (30) of those years writing professionally in one capacity or another.

So, if you're interested in learning a bit more about me, and don't want to read some boring c.v., let me describe to you what I believe to be the more amusing highlights of my life.

NOTE: if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm trying my best to not write "A Brief History of Me" like I would a c.v. I don't intend on filling page-after-page-after-page with trivial, inconsequential details. Well, I might throw in the odd easter egg bit of trivia of my life. But I'll stay focussed; okay, Al.

Before I get started, let me briefly give "an overview of me." Then, should you choose to go on your merry way, you can; or, if you would like to see how my life unfolds, read on.

An Overview of Me

I've been, if not lived, all around Canada except Newfoundland (& Labrador) and our northern terrorities. I've travelled the world and into a number of USA states exceeding 40. All my education (except my incomplete Masters) was done in Ontario, Canada in the same city. Searched for and found love (in all the wrong places - sorry, I couldn't resist). Eventually married but divorced years later - ask me some time how long a term of separation. Changed jobs and industries a number of times but it was never about "job hopping;" it was about staying gainfully employed and providing for my wife and I. Eventually, I decided to stay in western Canada close to the Pacific or the Rockie Mountains.

Starting a Planned Life - or so I Thought

So, now that I've succinctly illustrated who I am and where I'm at, let me go back to my undergraduate years, that started at the beginning of the 1980s, and pay homage to the events that eventually lead me to just shy of eight years in obtaining my Bachelor of Engineering Science (B.E.Sc. or BESc). Yes; that's right. I was there - on and off - for near a wonderful eight years. Well, some of the professors didn't think my hanging around for that length of time was so wonderful. But there were at least two that took a liking to me.

In fact, the first professor was so impressed with my first year record that he asked me in second year to become a teaching assistant (TA) for his first year Fortran programming course which I completed - with a 100% grade. I went on to becoming a TA in three other of his undergraduate engineering courses. Let me tell you: being an undergrad and a TA to other undergrads was unheard of back then, and still is, to my knowledge.

The second professor became impressed by me when I decided to take his forth year controls engineering course in third year. I didn't do so well in it - didn't fail - but when I returned to school a year later, I came back and repeated the course for a 94% grade. That was what got his attention. I really wish I could remember his name.

But not everything was roses and marshmallows, in my vernacular, as you can likely tell by now. Yes; I took some time away from school after my third year. The reason? It's complicated. Not only had I been partying it up - while living at home in school - my grades were sliding drastically in third year, second semester. In fact, I even failed not one but two of my third year level, second semester courses. Luckily for me, it did not impact a job placement I had already arranged - out of town - a job placement with a utility company that would years later help me elsewhere.

So, after that job placement interval was complete, I had a semester to think and strategize on my plans for finishing school. All my school friends entered into their fourth and final year, except for my school bud, Carey (more on him later), who would be delaying his graduation by one year given his third year academic record. Carey started taking a number of his fourth year classes that fall while I withdrew from school and worked.

Now We're Getting Down to Brass Tacks

In the following semester, Carey and I would re-do two of the same third year classes from the previous year, while he took a number of his fourth year obligation courses and I only took the one controls engineering class plus my first writing course (ever).

So, at this point, Carey and I are still hanging out - kind'a - but I know he's got one year left at the school. He's entering year five. Me? I'm going to be entering year five too. But that semester I had time to work and think? I decided on turning this four year degree program into eight years.

Now think about this. Carey is entering into his last year with a fair to mild course workload; almost half of the requisite for full time student status. But, me, I've still got four more years to graduate.

Crazy?

You must wonder if I'm insane. Not in the least! "My mother had me tested," to borrow an often heard phrase from a popular television show. Let me tell you now about my devious plan to graduate. (Bwah ha ha ha.)

So, in any semester in which a student enrolled, if desiring to maintain full time status especially for tax purposes, the student must take a number of courses each semester with credits that total 3.5 or higher.

NOTE: I must provide some further detail so you may understand my devious plan. A typical engineering student would be required to take a minimum of six, fourth year engineering science credit courses during each fourth year semester. That course load did not include the fourth year undergraduate (project) thesis that each engineering student must complete in order to graduate. Some of those project theses could be quite consuming. Please, don't even get me started on the statistics for student drop-outs. Something was once said to me in first year and it stuck with me. I was not going to be a complete drop-out.

Now here is the funny part that allowed me to spread my fourth year over four years.

Remember what I said about the number of engineering science courses and credit total in order to maintain full time student status. Let me describe what I had planned by showing you the end first and working backwards.

The Last (8th) Year

Well, as it turns out, the thesis or project component alone is like 7.0 credits; and, it is actually divided over two semesters giving someone instant full time student status. So, there is year eight.

What About Years 5, 6 & 7

About those six, fourth year courses each semester. Don't forget, I already took one. Oops! You might think I made a mistake. Not really and no worries; I was going to meet the requisite number of engineering science courses to graduate anyway. However, to stay enrolled "full time" I needed enough courses to add up to a total of 3.5 credits each semester. So, being the keener I was (and still am), I just decided to take an extra engineering science course - more on that later.

So now, fortunately for me, I had found out during that semester off, that by taking only two engineering science courses plus a "non-technical" elective course each semester, my semester credit total easily exceeded 3.5.

You may have guessed by now. But want to hazard a guess what my choices for six non-technical elective courses would be for the next three years? Hint, hint: I already took an Economics course in first year and a Business course in second year, and hated both. You guessed it! If there was a stuffed "Kewpie" doll I could give, I'd hand it over.

I decided to take non-technical electives in Persuasive Speaking, Speech Writing, Creative Writing, etc. and anything to do with communications. The main reason had to do with two mentors, both met at the university but in different venues.

My Mentors

My first mentor was Professor Thomas Bonnema, Ph.D. M.Div. and eventually not just the Assistant Dean but the Dean of Engineering. He was the first who allowed me to develop on my own as a teaching assistant. He was also the one to "shove me" out the door when I decided to step back from school before finishing. He also wouldn't allow me to enter graduate school at the same faculty straight out of my undergrad and for that I am glad. I'm sorry I didn't return but chose another school instead later for my M.A.Sc. in engineering but he understood that as well.

My second mentor shall remain un-named, due to his request. He was my manager in one of the four jobs I held "at the same time" while working through those last four years of school. He knew his guidance sparked my BESc thesis - a thesis now relegated to a locked and dusty university archive. It would only be a year after graduation, if I am not mistaken, when my own original print copy would be "misplaced" by a friend to whom it was loaned, after he took it into work. His employer asked they not be named for legal reasons.

Working Four Jobs at the Same Time!

Oh! If you're wondering what four jobs I held "at the same time," here's the list: (paid) teaching assistant; (paid) assistant librarian; (volunteer - with perks) SCUBA Instruction "assistant;" and, (paid) security consultant and risk analyst. I actually did all four of those jobs through the entire last four years of school.

Summer Jobs

I did have many full time summer jobs. I worked for the city on a number of summers. Worked for a utility company. But the job I had the most fun with was the one which seemed to repeat itself every summer during those last four years. In fact, this "fun" summer job even allowed me to retain and still work two of those four semester jobs on a part-time basis.

That "fun" summer job, had me working a combined afternoon and evening shift "on the line" in a Coca Cola bottling plant. What a bonus! Free pop while you worked and discounts on bulk purchase for outside of work too. Yeah, man! I was like "the man" on various SCUBA instruction weekends when I'd show up with a cooler of cold sodee-pops. By the way, by the time I graduated university I had already obtained by Divemaster rating, was one rating short of Master Diver, owned all my own SCUBA gear, my own vehicle and had no student debt. I could have easily slid into any instructor development course (IDC) I wanted. But I chose a different path instead.

Is The End in Sight?

I have to admit, though I didn't know why, I was a bit disconcerted with my impending graduation. I had no reason to be but something gnawed at the back of my mind, like I was forgetting something. I was in awesome, tip top, physical shape, with no strings attached holding me back. Sure, I might not be able to run a mile non-stop but I've been told it's not going to be a problem.

I had already known; taken it for granted; and, expressed no other interest for any other employer over the last four years. My second mentor had said, in no uncertain terms, "it's a done deal once you graduate."

So, I waited for the call and about one month prior to graduation, the call comes that I need to come in and fill out some paperwork. So, I go.

After I arrive, some papers get placed in front of me and I get left to myself. I pull out a pen and get to it. There is like one to four pages for me to fill out.

• First page: name, date of birth, current address, telephone, etc.
• Second page, I can't even remember. But I fill it all in.
• Third page is Medical History: read line and check box or line if yes. If Yes, you must explain at bottom of page in the space provided.
• Forth page are references. Now here, I have the bonafides, especially my second mentor's name.

After all is done, I'm told to go to a waiting room and "wait." Get told "Doctor will be with you in a moment." I'm not worried. I was just at my own family doctor two months ago and again another month later for medical check-ups. I'm attempting to be proactive. "No, I'm not crazy." "My mother had me tested," remember! I'm not kidding, okay. Anyway, get called in to the Doctor's Examination Room. I don't get asked to get up on the table as most doctors ask at this point. He just looks me straight in the eye and says, "I see you answered Yes to this question, have you ever been hospitalized." I say, "yes." Doctor says, "I know why you're here. You should have lied." He places my Patient Record folder and form on the table, opens the folder and stamps the form DENIED. Then he closes the folder and repeats the action again on the outside, stamping DENIED. I'm like beside myself, suddenly saying, "What the hell?!"

Doctor explains, "without going into detail, and I know the reason for which you were hospitalized five (5) years ago, it still doesn't matter. Rules are the rules. Any interval of hospitalization - over a day - precludes acceptance. I'm sorry!"

World Crashes Down

Can I even remember my feelings as I walked out, to my car and drove away. I had not given thought to any other options prior to that day. My world had literally fallen apart. All I knew seemed to have crumbled: my world, ambitions and dreams.

What would my plans be now? All I knew was that I wasn't going to dwell on it. I planned on enjoying a short interval of "fun" work before looking into something more serious.

NOTE: What I will say though is that there is a reason for everything.

If the Doctor had "not stamped" DENIED, I would likely never have met my BFF, Al, who punched me during his Rescue Sim. That's a story for another time.

Now I'm only an Engineer

Well folks, what you have read is just the opening act to a storied life. Those last five years of "education, intense training and orientation" I put myself through to get into a dream job that was yanked from my grasp now amounted to an eight year investment in an undergraduate engineering degree program. So, I'm an engineer now? I guess I best find myself an engineering job? It's not what I fully wanted to do after engineering school; but, maybe?

As time provides, I'll write more later; adding anecdotes, further history, laughs and trivia in other published chapters to my life.

By the by, if you like my writing style and (or) what you read, not only do I accept "Likes" on my stories but Tips are always appreciated.

NOTE: I will also be adding further stories in other genres, especially in fiction, instructional, technical, science, gear reviews and even poems. It's looking like my Technical Writing and Editing experience may be of assistance after all.

About the Author (as of 2021-10-29)