Life's Wonderful Messiness Makes It Interesting

Having no recollection of where I was born or the people and places I would have seen there, I can only tell you that I was born in the state of New Hampshire in 1972. But, for all intent and purpose, I'm an Illinois native that's been here for what feels like my entire life. I came from modest means and while my mom did the best she could as a single mother with more issues than Carter had pills, life was difficult at times. Looking back, through the good times and bad, for the first ten years, things were rougher than not. By the time I was ten years old, I had seen and felt death, was the witness in a rape case involving a little girl a couple of years younger than I, and had spent time in the hospital because of family drama.

My mom met and married when I was about ten and life got better. She wasn't as lonely, miserable, and petty as she used to be. There weren't any more horror stories about my biological father, and my new father was really a nice guy. He got me into watching wrestling as a kid, and we would go see all of the wrestling shows when they came around to the Quad Cities or Peoria Area. Somewhere, I've got tons of pictures from those days, sitting in a box and collecting dust. I remember meeting Hulk Hogan back before the age of the internet and leaked tapes led to our heroes becoming more human and flawed.

As a freshman in high school, I had dreams of bigger things, got sidetracked, but never forgot what I might have been capable of achieving. When I was in high school I bounced around between ideas. Part of me wanted to be a marine biologist, just to find a mermaid. Blame Darryl Hannah and Splash for that one. Part of me thought it would be fun to be a journalist, getting to travel around the world and tell people the stories I encountered.

I fell in love easily and when it came to my high school sweetheart and longest-time friend, things got pretty heated and passionate quickly. A year later, we expected our first and only child together, before our graduation from high school. It was a startling blow to any plans we had, but I was determined to make sure it was just a delay.

Plans take time to come to fruition. I'd been through many crucibles before this, but this was to be my toughest crucible to date. With the odds nearly beaten, after more than two long years, I sat happily one day, reveling in my success as the world was about to crumble before my eyes. She never loved me, she just used me to get away from her abusive parents. Her words, not mine. Twenty-one, I was finally on the edge of success, about to break into my chosen field for the first time, with the happy little family that I pushed myself so hard for, and now I was a single parent.

Like any other person that stays in the fight, I did whatever I could to make life work out. I worked, continued to go to school, spent late, late hours studying, and spent my free time bonding with my son. The divorce came and she didn't even show up for the hearing. Why? I asked my attorney, had I chosen to be fair and equitable?

I spent from 1997 up until 2019 in a job that was close to what I wanted. In baseball terms, I had gotten into the outfield but never found my homerun. I stuck with it to raise my son the best a twenty-something could at the time. I tried to use the mistakes I realized my parents made as a framework of what not to do. Sure, I stayed away from their pitfalls. I found my own along the way.

Over the years I had many triumphs, and more than my share of hard times while knowing that we all say that phrase at least once. Sure, I had to drop out of college, sacrifice some dreams, and accept some things that might never be that picture-perfect life I saw when I looked at my grandparents' life. Sometimes, that's all you can do, is play the hand you're dealt.

Since 2020, I have been searching for a better life. I left the career that made me crazy, cost me part of my life, and I'd dare say part of my soul, if there is such a thing. One thing I've learned over the years is that survival is key to success. Anyone, no matter their story, if they can keep surviving, can find successes still waiting to be discovered. I just wish I'd made the jump sooner.

In my time, I've met rock stars, athletes, pop stars, politicians, serial killers, murderers, embezzlers, and actors. I've been a police officer, a deputy sheriff, correctional officer, and was once in 50 below zero weather working as a chopper pad attendant. I've done some crazy things, and had stints where I felt like life was over it was so boring. I've learned from it all that life's a wonderful mess of people with complicated lives, just trying to survive in this crazy world.

I'd love to see some hearts from those that liked this piece so scroll down a little bit and click on the red heart icon. There's an option to tip that's always there, but it's not something that is required to use or ever expected. Thanks for spending your time getting to know a little more about me and have a wonderful rest of your day.