It isn't magic, the Rubik's Cube...

I read today that there are 43,000,000,000,000 ways to solve the Rubik’s Cube, so there must be more than one way to solve all of life’s issues too. And I only need one. How many do you need? I don’t want to build another puzzle. I only want to simplify the one I have. For me that means discarding the broken pieces left when one piece fell, shattering all that was left. From that which is discarded comes the most beautiful of gardens because those tiny shards were nothing more than the seeds of the best of what is yet to come.

I asked my last son to fix my Rubik’s Cube a few days ago. He brought it back to me as a handful of pieces informing me that only one piece had fallen off and the rest simply crumbled. That was and is such a profound picture in my head that any puzzle in life could be toppled by just one small piece. Now I know that the Bible warns that being faithful in the little things will prove that one will also be faithful in the bigger things, but this was the illustration for me that hit me this week. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how faithful one is if one small block falls from the foundation of the remainder. Perhaps, some things have no solutions after all.

I’ve raised my children to be self-thinkers, researchers and to look at everything as just that, a puzzle to be solved. Yet, I have been struggling with this as the mother of a large family now mostly grown. I spent the energy, time and resources to make a nest large enough to fit my flock. Then, the flock dropped out. They left with no forwarding addresses, no plans to return and not even a hint of missing home. I knew they would leave and I knew that they would leave almost at once because of the age spacing of births. But it never crossed my mind that I might actually never see them for major events, seasons or holidays. That was a surprise.

I’ve built and I’ve built and I don’t want to build any longer. I don’t want to maintain or retrain. I only want to walk on the sunny beaches, find a good book and soak up the warmth of some tropical breeze without the pressure of the next build. Can I? Sure. Anyone can. Therefore, so can I. But which piece will need to be taken out for the life built to come shattering down without harming any soul? In order to replace the picture I had, I have to replace something with a new vibrancy of a new tale to be told, one that suits the season better. I’ve outgrown my home that is now empty. The last three years have been painfully harsh on my soul, so I don’t think tearing down what I have built will harm me. Rather, it will be a healing space of time. A time for me to blossom and grow, to regain the person I once was.

Time has chewed away on the ‘me’ of me like the squirrels have done to my attic. I love the squirrels who flick their tail and chase each other up the tree. I do not, however, like the squirrel that eats my home worse than any teenager I’ve raised. The reality of that constant chewing is seen in every area of my picture. Can I really afford to save my jaw after wearing dentures for 16 years and also afford new teeth? I don’t have the $9,000. Yet, without the teeth, I don’t need the rebuilt jaw. And without the rebuilt jaw, I don’t need the teeth. That is a difficult circle to see through. It’s the price of a new to me car. If I buy the new to me car which I need after a young driver who had just gotten back his license tore off the poor front tire of the then new to me car, I won’t have enough to buy the dental work.

What can one do when life is such a similitude of puzzles because at the end of the discourse, life is just one big puzzle that some might not be able to solve. At any given time, we might all be one Rubik’s cube away from one piece shattering our whole system. One part falls out and the whole thing crumbles into a forgotten pile that others simply step over without any apology on their way to their own solutions, dreams and desires.

Yes I read today that there are 43,000,000,000,000 ways to solve the Rubik’s Cube, so there must be more than one way to solve all of life’s issues too. And I only need one. And NO, I don’t want to build another puzzle. I only want to simplify the one I have. For me that means discarding the broken pieces left when one piece fell, shattering all that was left. From that which is discarded comes the most beautiful of gardens because those tiny shards were nothing more than the seeds of the best of what is yet to come. And this has brought be back to where I first began before I built what I can no longer afford, but I know that the best is yet to come. And if I know that, you can know it too.