In marriage, why do we get separated

From the hit drama "Our Marriage", we saw the shadow of most middle-aged people. Their marital status is actually the marital status of most of us. After many years of marriage, the passion of youth has long since faded away, and the trivial life is a piece of chicken feathers. If you can't let go of the edges and corners and compromise with each other, many couples may have become separated.

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Only by thinking in a different position can we keep the "original intention"

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Shen Huixing played by Bai Baihe was once a top student. After marriage, she chose to be at home with her husband and children. However, after a few years of experience as a stay-at-home mother, she resolutely returned to the workplace. She has always insisted on her goals, and in the process of chasing her goals, she realized the difficulty of her husband. As Shen Comexing returned to the workplace, the husband and wife began to jointly shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the children and the family. Sheng Jiangchuan also learned that the trivial things he seemed to be were not easy.

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Although Sheng Jiangchuan always talks about "equality" and "respect", he still thinks that his family's ability to upgrade consumption is due to him alone. In other words, in Sheng Jiangchuan's heart, the two of them have never been equal. It was obvious that Shen Huixing had already felt her husband's condescension. Through the role reversal, the husband and wife learned to empathize, instead of blindly accusing and demanding. Keeping the "original intention" of marriage, the willingness and ability to communicate and understand are very important. When encountering problems, you should face them up and try to use communication to solve them, instead of evading or even accusing each other, which will inevitably make problems difficult to return day after day.

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Marriage requires husband and wife to work together

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Dong Sijia, played by Jiang Xin, is an executive of an investment bank, but when outsiders tell Dong Sijia what her husband does, she always changes the subject and doesn't want people to know that her husband is a full-time dad. She can't stand the feeling that her husband is not. Even in Dong Sijia's own heart, she looked down on her husband and "begged" work for her husband everywhere.

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Many people say that strong women are often not particularly happy in their marriages, because their subjective consciousness is too strong and they impose it on others. Such a woman will be very tired in life. Because she is not running the family with her husband, but she runs everything in the family alone, including her husband. This is the key to Dong Sijia's successful career and warm husband, but still unable to enjoy happiness easily. If a woman is only strong, then as long as her lover is willing to tolerate her, they can also live happily. But if she doesn't understand contentment and just wants to hold her husband in her hands like a child and do everything, she will be thankless.

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The most stable marriage relationship is "evenly matched"

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Jiang Jing used to be an elite in the workplace, but after being "abandoned" by her work because of her pregnancy, she became a humble full-time wife. She took care of the children as her job and "served" her husband as a boss. She lowered her status in marriage and had a humble attitude , in order to obtain her husband's "support", but in the end, she was still calculated and abandoned by her husband.

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In fact, the most stable marriage relationship is "evenly matched", "you are very good, and I am not bad". At present, there are too many "Jiang Jing-style" wives. They become full-time wives, are not respected by their husbands, have no income, and can only keep a low profile. But if in a marriage, the two parties become unmatched, one is far superior to the other, then such marriages are at risk. Humans are very realistic animals. Most of the people who are in a strong position in a marriage tend to abandon the weaker one. In order to have a stable marriage, both husband and wife must grow and maintain a state of equal power forever, which is the condition for a stable marriage. Marriage is a process of growth, and it is impossible for either party to stand still in exchange for a long-term marriage.