I Will Listen

As a white woman, I very likely have no business writing about inclusion. If I have learned anything in the last two years, it is that we need to amplify the voices of people of color and the marginalized of society, and still the voices of the people who, for lack of better verbiage, look a lot like me.

Growing up in a very small community, I did not know diversity. Everyone looked, sounded, believed, and lived just like me. The confines of my rural bubble led me to believe that the world was filled with people just like me. Obviously, there were people out there who looked different and had different belief systems, but for the most part, we were all living the same life…right?

I do not pretend to know about discrimination or segregation; however, as life often does, it has taught me some important lessons. As it were, I have learned a bit about kindness and inclusivity.

As I said, I always just “fit in.” When everyone looks and does and feels the same way, nothing sets you apart. Life seems to flow and work in your favor. I never understood just how significant that was until I became a mom. Specifically, I became a parent to a child with special needs.

For the last five years, I have lived life completely submerged in the waters of special needs. Doctors appointments and therapies. Health scares and learning differences. Struggles and worries. Hard work and big victories. If I could summarize our world in one word it would be different. Little did I know just how much that single word could change everything.

My son has always been different. His learning style is different. His development has been different. His needs are different….but different from what? Different from “the norm.” With those differences, our family has been given a glimpse into a different world.

A world that does not always work in your favor.

A world that, sometimes, does not care.

A world that forgets about you.

A world that would rather turn a blind eye to your struggles than to make accommodations to help you.

A world that does not listen or acknowledge you, leaving you with feelings of isolation and questioning humanity.

When you hear about something “exclusive,” what do you think? Maybe you think of a special deal, something offered to only a certain group of people. If you step back and think about it though, if something is “exclusive,” then who are we excluding? Probably someone who was already at a disadvantage, that would be my guess.

We live in such a fast-paced, self-centered world, that we often forget to stop and think about others. Social media is great for connection, but how often does it connect us to people who are different from us? Do we even see people who are different, or is it easier to just turn our heads and look the other way? Do we step outside of our comfort zone in order to connect or create change? Or do we stay inside our restrictive, comfortable little bubbles?

This is where we, as a society, can do better. We can show compassion and understanding. We can care. We can make ourselves a bit uncomfortable in efforts to help someone else. We can speak up. We can advocate. Most importantly, we can listen.

As an outspoken, strong-willed woman, I have always been one to speak before I thought. I wanted people to hear my words, because I needed them to hear me. This is what I am going to change in 2022.

In 2022, I am going to listen.

I am going to listen to those who are different from me. I am going to step outside the confines of my comfort zone, and I’m going to pay attention. Instead of contributing to the problem, I want to seek answers that support a solution.

How can I help the special needs community? How can I support the BIPOC community? How can I aid the marginalized groups in our world today? How can I support the LGBTQ+ community? How can I help create real, meaningful change?

I think the answer starts with listening. Hearing their stories, understanding their needs. Realizing that I am just one person, but change can start with me.

When we listen, we acknowledge that someone else’s story matters. Their experiences are valid. Their perspective is unique and needs to be told. Their words have importance. Our stories - all of our stories - hold lessons and worth that need to be shared.

I believe that we are better together. Collectively, we have the ability to change things…but we have to listen to one another first. In a world where so many are overlooked, we need to make them feel seen. In a world with so much noise, we need to make everyone feel heard. We need to validate others’ feelings, listen when they speak, and make every effort to do better.

To me, that is the greatest kindness of all.