I am tired. No. I am VERY tired. No. I need to get some sleep. I want to close my eyes for about nine hours of good solid sleep. Yes, that's what I so desperately need right now. Why? Read on, dear soul.
I am a 62-year-old dude who is about to turn 63 very, very soon. Just on that alone, I need my bed rest—not a dirt nap. Even though I already possess an AARP card, I don't quite identify as a senior citizen. I am still very young at heart. When I think of senior citizens, I think of some old guys playing checkers or cards in the park. Yes, these are OLD guys, but I am not like any of them.
For one thing, my regular day of work starts when my alarm goes off at the crack of dawn (that's 5:00 AM for you regular folks). After a few minutes of contemplation as to whether or not I really want to go to work, I eventually get up, wash the previous day's funk off my body, and that's it. Time to get dressed and get the ole war wagon ready to go.
Going to work is fun, too. If you do not catch my sarcasm, that's your problem. I enjoy taking my classic 1992 Jeep Cherokee all throughout New York City to whatever destination I need to go. Sometimes I travel to the Bronx or Brooklyn. Sometimes I have to travel to different parts of Long Island. Most of the time I stay in Queens and take a vehicular sprint to my destination. No matter where I go, I have to deal with road hogs and speed demons who confuse the streets of New York City for a NASCAR speedway. How bad are they? Have you ever been outrun by some clown with a driver's license while he is speeding by you in a Mercedes Benz Smart Car? I have and it is not fun at all. Still, I am too tired, at that point, to accept their challenge. My job is to get to work in one piece.
Once I arrive at work in one piece, it is time to find a parking space that is: 1) free, 2) convenient, and 3) safe from having idiots accidentally (or on purpose) hit my pride and joy Jeep. Once that mission has been accomplished, I pray that when I get back to my baby, it is not stolen either. After all, it IS New York. To date, I have been very lucky and I want to keep it that way.
After I park my baby, it is time to go inside to start work. Most of the time, I end up having a good day. Some days, I don't have a good day. It all depends on a few factors. Whether it is a good day or a bad day, I need to get home to get some rest. I need it.
I had a recent checkup. According to my physician, Dr. Thomas Tonto Burro, the doctor who is famous for not being able to find a vein in order to draw blood, I am dealing with anemia. This explains why I am so tired. My blood lacks iron. I need to eat more green foods and note a stale piece of bread just because it has green spots. Apparently, I have become the anti-Popeye. I haven't eaten any spinach or anything else. So, I will be eating more greens. In the meantime, I will just keep catching up with my sleep.
Now, it is my favorite part of my work day: LUNCH. To me, lunch is like a mini-dining session. I usually put on my finest coat and take a very leisurely stroll to a nearby delicatessen in order to get my usual tasty meal which consists of a turkey and Swiss cheese hero with mayonnaise, followed by a nice Sprite or Mountain Dew soda. My mouth is watering even as I think about it. I also purchase a newspaper so that I can feed my mind with some very timely information, too.
I return to work in order to finish my day. All I have in my minuscule brain is the fact that when I finish my work, I will be able to go home and relax, something I rarely get to do anymore. I always plan to get into my Jokermobile, a name that I call my very faithful Jeep, and imagine what my weekend will look like. As of this writing, I have many plans, but none have to do with work. Most of my plans involve going to a nice secluded place away from home just to relax and think pleasant thoughts. I might even indulge in a cannoli, some Arizona Sweet Tea, and a Bacon King burger from Burger King. After that, I am just waiting for the big burp and some naptime right in my own car. After that, I head on home.
Once home, I REALLY kick back to relax. Yup. As this Big Guy prepares himself for retirement, he likes to do some things that he hasn’t really done before. In this case, I like to come home and kick back to rest or even sleep if I am THAT tired. Sometimes my kick back time might include watching the news or something. Perhaps, I might decide to listen to the news or just about anything that catches my interest. Some days, however, I may not even go straight home. I might just depart from work and drive to a food joint and then head to my favorite areas of solitude just to watch a setting sun just before night arrives. It may not seem like much of a life, but it suits me just fine.
That is all there is to it. My life is complex to those who can’t see how simple it is. There is nothing fancy here. It doesn’t need anything extraordinary. It is just a matter of me enjoying my favorite company in the world: ME!!!!