I Think Vocal is Breaking Up With Me.

I thought we had something special. I really did.

I mean, we had a whirlwind romance, Vocal and I.

It started in February when I wrote a little thing. Then I wrote another little thing. And then the THIRD little thing I wrote went straight to the front page. I was a Top Story, baby! Woo hoo!

Then, Vocal made a bold move and put that story on their Facebook page, which set my poor, fragile writer's heart aflutter. I mean, changing your Facebook status is a HUGE step in the relationship, right? I knew right then that there was an undeniable spark between us.

Then we hit a rough patch. Vocal chose someone else to win the Black Book Challenge. I was hurt, of course. Perhaps hurt isn't the best word. I was crushed. I didn't care if the winning story was so much better than mine and rightly deserved to win; I thought Vocal and I were just starting to make things work, andthis was the ultimate betrayal. But Vocal assured me that I was still special, and I believed them.

How foolish I was.

And then, Vocal announced that my Top Story was officially a challenge winner! And it was a pretty big challenge, too! This was essentially Vocal confessing their love for me right out loud for the whole world to hear, wasn't it?

WASN'T IT?

It wasn't.

I wish I knew then what I know now. Isn't that what Rod Stewart sang?

I waited by my inbox daily, frantically and obsessively checking for the email asking me to do an interview for Creator Spotlight. After all, isn't that what happened to big winners?

But that email never came. In fact, no other acknowledgment or personal correspondence from Vocal ever came. Ever. Four months post-challenge win, and it's been crickets from Vocal.I haven't even been a Creator We're Loving. I wrote numerous stories and articles; some that I was sure would place in a challenge (like this one and this one), some that I was sure would at least be Top Story worthy (like this one and this one), and some that have only gotten a handful of views (like this one, which I actually think is pretty good, even though no one else on Earth apparently does because it only has 2 views at the time of this writing).

While Vocal is completely ghosting me, they've started blatantly flirting with other writers. Every day I check the front page, and the same names appear there...except not oneof those names is mine. What is it, Vocal? Are they prettier than me? Are they more clever? Do they give you the same level of sarcasm and heart that I can? Do they have better Unsplash pictures?

I don't know. Maybe I never will. Everyone says I should just get over it; that there are other writing websites that will want me. Maybe they're right. With each passing day of zero acknowledgment, I do get increasingly bitter and a little sad. Self-doubt creeps in, and I can't even bear to look at the Facebook groups full of shiny, happy people basking in the glow of Vocal love and support, because it might never be me again.

I think Gmail knows what's up but isn't telling me in order to protect my feelings. Gmail has started sorting Vocal's mass emails into folders that I never check (seriously, why is there a Promotions folder anyway?).

Gmail's always had my back.

But damn it, I just can't quit your Challenges, Vocal.