I am Not spitting my dummy out like an errant toddler...

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DEAR VOCAL MEDIA.

I am Not spitting my dummy out like an errant toddler

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Ok,

I am not saying I am a "bad wrier"

(Although I am starting to suspect it)

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And I can fully understand not being one of the top 3 in any given competition.

There are a lot of top writers all trying their best.

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But is my "style" really, so, "at odds" with your target customer base that I cannot even make a 1k shortlist for fiction, to get a free year plus membership?

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I am Not spitting my dummy out like an errant toddler

But after over 100 articles and loads of competition entries, I must now ask,

(As my time is limited and spread over quite a few different creative sites)

Am I Wasting My Time Writing For Vocal?

Is there an inherent style conflict that “glass ceiling’s” me?

Was I even close to getting on the shortlist?

Was any of my eight submissions, even in the top 2K of entries?

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As a bit like an overly long engagement with a romantic partner.

I am now being that irritating girlfriend asking her boyfriend the dreaded question of doom.

Is this going anywhere?

Or am I just being strung along for the $10 monthly sub?

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Did I even have a shot in hell’s chance in any of these competitions to start with?

Or should I just stick to the Free version from now on and put my monthly $10 elsewhere?

I am just asking for you to have the courage to respect me enough, to be honest with me!

So, I am not wasting both our time!

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Please respond with an honest (none bot) answer!

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THEN, THE ERRANT TODDLER RISES!

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To be honest I have reached THIS stage of financial desperation as a creative...

(…and no - a regular job Is not an option for health reasons...)

Maybe I should flip sides and create stuff for the far-right just to get a minimum wage.

Do the figurative creative equivalent of whoreing myself out and pulling tricks in a gross back ally.

- I cannot work any harder or any cheaper,

All I have left, to give way to, is my shredded integrity.

- It would still be better than condemning Myself to just playing computer games and watching TV, whilst staying on social benefits for the rest of my sad life.

- Sure, I would hate myself, but no more than I already do.

(…and “fuck it” those shitty Nazi bastards are going to win anyway… as the inevitable imminent environment collapse causes shortages that rob our crappy species of all pretence of humanity.)

But then again,

It is so much easier to live with hating yourself when you can afford the occasional burger and a coffee.

Now THAT IS,

“Spitting my dummy out like an errant toddler”

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GETTING REVENGE, - ON MYSELF! FOR BEING ME!

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Yes, It is true.

I am so much of a failure that I cannot even afford to pay the $10 Vocal Plus Free!

But don’t cry for me dear reader, I openly admit I am not a very nice person!

I really, Really, REALLY Do NOT deserve Any sympathy!

AT ALL, Not Even a tiny bit!

(Seriously, I am Very, Totally unapologetically, unashamedly, without remorse, unpleasant.)

(NOT in a cheeky chappie sitcom way, but instead..)

(‘Strickly, Only, Hypothetically,’ of course)

(…in a very real, you would not want to be strapped to a chair after harming any of my family, sort of psychotic way – Hint: <Again… ‘Strickly, Only, Hypothetically,’ of course> You would NOT be killed. You would be left to do that to yourself after struggling for three to four years with the trauma of what I did to you.)

(Again… ‘Strickly, Only, Hypothetically,’ of course)

I very probably more than simply deserve this fate!

Hell, I am very probably getting off lightly, Karmically speaking!

Fuck knows why or how I am still too stubborn to quit.

<shrug>

Hell,

I might even post this rather embarrassing set of rants on Vocal as an “Article”, just for the possible pennies it might bring…

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(…and no - a regular job Is not an option for Mental Health reasons...)