How to Deal With Your Bullying Boss

Not too long ago I had a store manager for whom I had worked. She was the BOSS and I was training to be her right hand (literally). My first opinion of this woman was “This woman is a tyrant.” which I intelligently kept to myself. She had her own thoughts about me, which she did not. She pretty much let everyone know what she thought about me, not by telling him or her directly, but they could easily overhear everything that she screamed at me when she dragged me into the office. She would pull me into the office daily to “let me know” what I did not do, what I did not do right, what I did not do fast enough, and so on and so on. At times she would let me know how stupid I was (she walked a fine line with this) for more or less not being able to read her mind. It felt like she was digging her claws into me. I would go home thinking, “Ok, I messed up. Tomorrow I will do better.” To be honest, I was thinking of other things too. For example, how long would it take to gather the crew and stage a coup to carry her off the phone and dunk her headfirst into a fry vat? I am no saint people. However, I digress. The next day, I went back to work, the tyrant strikes again. This time, as was every time, it was a completely new set (and more often a subset) of complaints that made my head spin and steam shoot out of every hole.

A Possible Solution?

After a couple of months of this, I eventually was wore down and became sick and tired of it all. I wanted to quit. Then the energy-saving light bulb finally kicked in. What if I can beat her at her own game? I thought to myself, what if I made a list of all these things she bitched about and used it as a daily completion checklist to make sure she didn’t catch me off my guard anymore and make me feel so . . . stupid and small. Well, I did so. It started as a list of just 10-15 things. As the week ticked by, and as she was ticked off, I just smiled at her and when she was not looking over my shoulder, I would add it to the list. I started it off in a brand new, blue, college-ruled notebook. After several months, the list, which at this point was affectionately called the “bitch list”, ended up being three sheets long. This was on both sides! Now remember, this is six pages, college ruled. I hope this sheds some light on how anal this boss is. She had pet peeves for her pet peeves. Now, I am sure you are wondering whether this solved my problem.

Did It Work?

Well, if you are in a situation similar to mine, chances are, if you try this, unfortunately, it will not work. My boss was tireless in her pursuit of finding things wrong. My checklist had gotten so long and tedious to work through, that it ended up taking away the focus I originally had on my customers. It also had one big backfire. I had gotten too good at jumping through all of my boss’s hoops. She had become completely and utterly dependent on me. This worked counterintuitively to my plans for working my way up the career ladder. When another store was up for grabs for a new store manager, I had been promised I was next in line. An interview was set up between myself, and a manager that was just beneath me in rank. However, after I had been interviewed for it, the job was given to the other guy. To add insult to injury, I had been responsible for some of his training. It seems that my boss was not too keen on letting me go and had some words with the District Manager. I heard rumors from some of the crew that she had gone behind my back and asked the District Manager to pick the other guy. It seems she had become way too dependent on me, and refused to let me go. I cannot prove it, but the whole thing stunk. On the bright side, she had broadened my overall awareness of the store to almost god-like proportions. I AM a better manager for it. Therefore, I suppose if there is a moral we can steal from my misery it would be this: Do not deal with an extremist by becoming an extremist. It will always end in tears.

Your Wordsmith,

Matthew Leo

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