Greetings and Gratitudes, my dudes

Hi friends, welcome to

✨😤the fun zone😤✨

(That’s what I call this blog.)

If you know me, you’ll know I’ve been toying with this idea for a while. I want a space to share my thoughts and writing, and I have a particular talent in over sharing personal details on the internet, so a blog just seemed like the most reasonable thing, idk.

So, nerds,

What can you expect if you step into

✨😤the fun zone😤✨???

Well more than anything, I want this blog to be a tool for self growth. I want to openly journal while I reflect on the root causes of my own internalized misogyny, rape culture, fat phobia/diet culture, racism, homophobia, transphobia, addiction, self harm, classism, ableism, etc etc. I want to analyze my journey with these topics and assess how they’ve impacted me, my beliefs and my life. I also want to use this platform as an opportunity to hold myself accountable in the ways all of those toxic parts of myself manifest both inward and outward.

Primarily my personal self growth is my ultimate goal and focus, but I also want to use this platform to add to conversations that denormalize these harmful behaviours that exist in me and others. I have been a victim of some things like misogyny and rape culture, and I will use this space to voice my experiences. But, at the same time, I have also helped uphold these systems, and, at times, been the perpetrator rather than the victim, and I wanna address these instances. I want to hold a mirror to myself and my actions in hopes that it models what-not-to-do, while also practicing what-to-do to move forward.

I’m aware that I’ve been a hurtful person, but I think a lot of those traits are widely accepted by our society. Maybe I have even encouraged more people to be hurtful by showing them through my actions that it’s okay. For this reason, I think I’m responsible to model the work that is necessary to move away from that behaviour, so this is my active approach at that.

???? Idk man. Maybe someone reads my

posts and is like “Oh shit, I have a tendency to invalidate victims abuse, too?? That’s what that looks like? Where did that come from?”

And with all of this in mind, I want my tone to be one of self education and self compassion. Making mistakes is scary and learning that I’ve contributed to hurtful narratives or created unsafe environments can be upsetting. I want to erase the shame in myself when it comes to my past and future(!) mistakes. I will never be an expert on how to exist, I will always be a work in progress. Because of this, I want to create a space wherein it is safe to say “Hey, I fucked up. This is why I thought my actions were okay, this is how I learned they weren’t, and this is what I’m doing to correct it.”

Hopefully from this I can find in myself the grey area between good and bad. I want to build a foundation for myself based off progression, not ego or stagnancy. And, also, shame based change has never really worked for me, or anyone, I don’t think. Just kinda brings icky vibes, y'know?

This is also going to be where I post ✨feminist essays✨ on the patriarchy and toxic masculinity, because who doesn’t love that :) I have found a lot of healing and confidence in my own self education, specifically in regards to misogyny and rape culture, and I want to share what I’ve learned in (hopefully???) a fun, informative way! If anything, it gives me the excuse to say I’m a feminist author and technically no one can deny that.

And I want to share recipes, because I follow a GF vegan diet for health reasons and also I just absolutely make delicious meals and I’m proud of them and need a space to show them off and brag and who cares it’s my blog ????? Food has always been a trigger in my life and something with which I’ve always had a negative relationship. Finding a diet that makes me feel good physically, and takes love and time to create, has renewed a love for cooking in myself that I’ve long missed.

Is ~therapy~

Along my journeys, I will absolutely be giving credit to the voices that are guiding me. No way in hell would I be able to look in and check myself if some didn’t first make it known to me that I had to, whether that was their responsibility or not. I don’t want to take space or speak for anyone but myself and my personal experiences. So I’ll have a section on here, “Lords Work”, that gives credit to the people/accounts/authors that have helped me challenge myself in all aspects. This list will be on going, as will my learning.

Like I said before, I am in no means an expert. On any subject, no matter how passionate I might be on it. I have so much learning to do, and that’s what I want to do through this blog, while encouraging others to join me who might be going through similar journeys. And when I make mistakes again, I hope from this, I’ll have the ability and skills to sit back, reflect, and better myself.

Idk, guy. Maybe the next time I’m about to project some transphobia onto myself or another community member, I’ll stop and ask myself “What fucking Family Guy bit did 12 yo you learn that from?” before being able to challenge future negative representations I see in the future. YKNOW?????

While I know I have been a harmful person, to myself and others, I don’t want that to be my forever.

All in all, this blogs about just a guy trying their best, man.