Ghosting in friendships!

GHOSTING IN FRIENDSHIPS…

To understand ghosting in friendships, you have to first understand what it means to be ghosted or to ghost. The present Gen Z will argue that it was initated by them. But as a millennial, I will say for sure that the concept of ghosting has been there even before the millennial but we can agree that the term GHOSTING and its inference is of no doubt the concept of the Gen Z.

Having established that, to Ghost someone means to disconnect without notifying according to the connotative meaning in the dictionary. To put in plain words, to ghost means to disappear from any form of interaction with another person without any explanation. When you do this to someone, you have Ghosted the person and when it is done to you then you can say that you have been Ghosted.

Now to the main gist, Ghosting in Friendship.

Can it be done to a friend? Heck yes!!

Is there a healthy way to do it? And when does it become Toxic? Let’s find out.

Ghosting in friendships is very possible and it is prevalent in this period. Ghosting initially was supposed to be a way to detach yourself or end the line of communication with someone without being awkward or weird. It was supposed to be a silent way off telling someone off. But with time and based on the definition of ‘disconnection’ we can say that it is also a way to detach yourself from basic forms of communication for a period of time. And it could be just to find solitude, to deal with personal issues or even for your mental health. With everything going on in the world and with the ever looming internet sensations. Every now and then we need a break to refresh and to commune with ourselves which is not a bad thing in the very sense of it.

In a bid to detach ourselves from the world we can also detach ourselves from our friends. Friendship is about companionship and a commitment to involve ourselves and also be involved in the life of those we have called our friends. But between hackling through life’s challenges, it can be a bit overwhelming and we may need to take a break from it all and that is where the ghosting comes in. Ghosting if and when is done properly will not cost you the friendship. As a matter of fact a true friend will understand the value of that time out and will be there to receive you when you are ready to show up again.

It becomes the other way round when you Ghost blatantly without regard for the people in your life and that is sadly the problem with most people in this generation. And they justify themselves by saying if my Ghosting period cost me your friendship then our friendship was not true, which is outright balderdash, hogwash. You cannot expect to just disappear like that without taking some intentional measures that makes the friends you are disappearing from worry less and also not question their value in your life.

The idea of Ghosting is not often something people plan, sometimes life just pivots in that direction. Even as impromptu as it could be, whether it is before the Ghosting starts or during the Ghosting period. There are things you can do to salvage the situation. If you start to get inkling on Ghosting, you can start by giving a heads up to your close friends and family about it. You do not have to go into details about it. You could just say ‘hey I will be going off for a while, in case you don’t hear from me, try not to worry. Doing this gives you an edge and it prepares your friends and saves them from dealing with anxiety when you eventually go off. It reassures them of the value you have for them and the relationship. It shows them that you respect and regard them. And trust me you can take as much time as you need knowing that you will be received with a warm welcome and it also rids you of the guilt of having to explain and apologize.

If life jolts you into it and you could not give a prior heads up. You can still do it even in your ghosting period. Just a simple text however vague it could be can do a lot of good, way better than just leaving them to worry. You can take a break from you radio silence to let them know that you are okay or will be okay and you just need a time out. It is really as simple as that.

But sadly people will rather leave people hanging and justify their actions with the fact that they were going through a hard time. Sister, brother that excuse is as stale as stale can be. And guess what tough times will always be there and we will all face them because that is the very definition of life. Therefore you cannot play that card and hope to get a free pass with it. In other words you cannot excuse bad behavior with the tragedies of life. If you still want to have people waiting for you when you are ready, you have to act right and if you can’t do that then don’t go putting up snarky and warped quotes on friendships later on.

DON’T BE A REAL GHOST IF YOU DON’T WANT TO STAY DEAD!!!