Dreams are to be carried not forgotten

In my feelings

Three years ago I moved to New Jersey for a job opportunity in customer service. I simply agreed, rather deperately for a job to accept my credentials fresh out of college. The little time I spent before the initial blessing to leave Maryland..was questionable. With little experience throughout anything other than retail, I worked as a telemarketer for a non-profit organization the summer I graduated for literally two weeks. In the beginning I was extremely excited to gain sales experience as an entry level "ambassador." I stood long hours within local malls to pull aside strangers with a rickety tablet as to persuade long term memberships to feed the needy. (The company itself seemed illegitimate, even then I was leery on the details.)I came with nothing and left barely with enough bus fare as the job strictly paid commission. Long story short, I earned a boil at the bottom of my foot and less esteem than initial hire. I gloated in self pity for awhile as I quietly searched entry level jobs on Careerbuilder. I long awaited nothing for three months until a random call one morning took place from a New Jersey number. (Mind you I awoke from a drunken stupor.) There was an offer for full time work as a customer service agent in downtown Atlantic City New Jersey for an insurance company one hour from New York City. Gladly I took advantage of the position and prayed heavily to navigate other concerns such as placement, food and gas. I thought this was a start to stability and career longevity, however, as time slowly passed I realized a couple unsettling truths. For one, I hate public speaking, I should have known customer service is practically social. (Retail is no where near as communicative as customer service; espiecially as store casheir.) But when you're broke, anxious and sickened by being overlooked in job submissions you take your chances. So I have heard no one really enjoys their job. Everyone sacrifices their needs or wants eventually if not constantly.. Secondly, certain coworkers grew to dislike my work ethic. I tend to skip lunch and power through an entire day until thirty minutes before closing. ( Again, I'm not a social person and I rather just do my job and leave all else alone. Call it what you want, but I figure worklife is made simple if you never create friendships to begin with; although I try to be personable. Rent is always priority so I need not ever mess it up.) Lastly, I found myself unhappy outside of work. Rather complacent, I made zero strides in additional networking for studio time. I aspire to be a ghost writer, yet, found it impossible to find a local studio throughout the area. At least in D.C I knew of two up and coming agencies for R&B artists or rappers. In the heart of possibly all east coast attractions for casino tourism, I may have thought too optimisically. Overall quest as a creative became unrealistic, yet, I tackle rent, and other expenses with great ease so as long as I never miss work. My inner desires to write slowly fades into worriation and a predictable check..(until I meet a young fellow as potential roommate. He's attractive but I learn later he has as many girlfriends as he owns boxers..his sexual appetite is plentiful. A man with that much action needs a hell of alot under garment.) Anyhow, I struggled to meet in the middle. And lost my job..because I wasn't talkative. In customer service, managers can overhear all phone conversations. Not that I came in late, or was a difficult employee. In quote, "I lack friendliness" yet, accomplish other features for a client. That same afternoon I was fired I walked into a beauty supply store in need of help and was hired on the spot full time..it's uncanny but true. I rather risk job title than lose rent money. My life's journey so far is one unpleasant experience after the next. Thus the one thing that never escapes me is the need to write..I'm plaqued with an obligation that only I know is important to make due. Results vary.

Please read or comment, I love to respond to feedback! Also, any tips or endorsements would be highly appreciated to the utmost. Im trying to structure a way in which to write articles for the betterment of the reader. My goal is to reach at least ten views by the end of this week..For those who took the time to read, thank you!! I hope I may continue a journey of transparency and biting truth for all others who also struggle with similar issues. Come with me, it doesn't end here!