Down with the sickness

These are the areas of my life that are important to me, or that I’m working on. Each month I review where I’m at and check in. The whole middle of April was kind of a write off, but I feel like I’m starting to find my feet again.

Reading

I finished six books this month, which I’m really surprised at. Halfway through the month I was looking at the books on my list and thinking that this might be the month where I don’t rack up any finishes at all. But then I finished four books in the span of two days and things were looking up again. Also managed to only start three new books this month, two of which I finished, so my ‘currently reading list’ is down to a much more manageable five. Although, 4 of those 5 are loooong reads, so maybe next month is going to be tough to finish anything.

I also rearranged my TBR list slightly. I’ve now split it into books that I have (either own or have access to via Libby or Audible), and books that I don’t have (books that will require a purchase). This way the books I don’t have are more of a wishlist than a TBR. It’s also cut my TBR down by about a hundred books. It’s only going to take me eight years to read them all now, instead of ten. And that’s assuming I don’t add anymore books to the list, which is unlikely!

FINISHED

• Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Both started and finished this book in a week. I started it while waiting at the hospital (more on that to come). I wanted something bite-sized that I could pick up and put down. I wanted something that wasn’t going to be too taxing on my brain to keep track of. I wanted something to distract me. I’ve been a fan of The Bloggess for many years, even though I don’t regularly read the blog anymore. I haven’t read Jenny’s first book yet, either, but it’s on my TBR. I really enjoyed this collection. It’s funny and a great peek into someone else’s life which makes you realise your own life is a calm oasis by comparison.
• An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir. This was just ok. I’m not going to bother continuing with the series. I found the characters to be a bit Mary Sue-ish. Especially the main female character. It felt like it became a game of seeing how much pain and torture she could be made to suffer and still come through it because she’s just that strong and brave. The narrator also annoyed me by mispronouncing ‘says’. She says it seys instead of sez.
• How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi. I finished this one, but I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I found a lot of good info in there and a lot to think about. I have a lot I want to say about this book, but I keep deleting it. I might try and write a longer piece about it because it’s hard to summarise my thoughts in just a paragraph.
• Mythos by Stephen Fry. I enjoyed this one, but as with all these types of books, as soon as I finish all of the stories will disappear from my head. It was fun to listen to though, especially as I never really had a huge interest in the Greek myths the way I did the Norse or Celtic myths.
• The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I have mixed feelings about this one. It definitely pulled me in, and took me along for the journey. I’m just a little uncomfortable with parts of the relationship, especially in the early parts of the book.
• Feeling Good by David Burns. I finished this one, but admittedly didn’t read the last two chapters, which were a run down of available medications. I skimmed quite a bit during the whole thing as well. In general, I didn’t find this book very useful at all. I have read and really like The Happiness Trap, and will recommend that to anyone who is interested in CBT to help depression, or to just learn some good mental health coping skills. This book unfortunately was nowhere near as good. It felt like a long list of anecdotes about various patients where Burns said “Just look at it this way, instead”, and then suddenly they were cured. I think CBT and Burns’s writing have come a long way since this first book.

IN PROGRESS

• The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments by Claude A Piantadosi. Working my way through this one gradually. It starts to get really interesting and then the chapter ends!
• The Path of Daggers by Robert Jordan. Didn’t read a lot at bedtime this month, I tended towards watching movies until I fell asleep instead. But I’ve just passed the 60% mark and I’m making a concerted effort to engage with the story.
• The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. Spent some time with this one and it’s starting to pull me in and I’m wanting to pick it up more.
• 2666 by Roberto Bolano. Got a good chunk of listening done, but still a long way to go. The parts I got through this month felt like a bit of a slog, to be honest.
• Wanderers by Chuck Wendig. This is another chunky read, but it’s flying by so far, I’m really enjoying it. I was surprised when I read the Prelude, to hear a small city near where I live reference. It was quite bizarre!

Health

Health was the focus this month, but not by choice. On the first weekend in April we decided we’d head out to the bikes and take some nice photos of our last cherry blossom season here in Japan. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. On the way home Steve mentioned that the ride was really taking it out of him. We both thought this was a little strange because he’s been going to the gym regularly and has improved his cardio a lot over the last six months. We figured maybe he just wasn’t used to riding the bike for longer distances anymore and that’s why he was feeling more tired. Later in the afternoon he made a passing comment that he had a pain in his side that felt like that time he had pneumonia. We both kind of thought it was weird, but didn’t think it was actually pneumonia, he didn’t have any other symptoms. As the night progressed though, they started to show. He had trouble breathing and the pain got worse. Stubbornly, he said we’d wait til Monday to go to a doctor, but in the end I ended up calling an ambulance on Sunday afternoon because it had become so hard for him to breathe.

Calling an ambulance in a language you can barely speak is a nerve wracking experience, but I was amazed at how quickly they arrived. The hospital whisked him away and I was left to wait on my own. Fortunately there was a doctor in the emergency department who could speak English, but a lot of the communication was done via Google translate. Later on Sunday night he was admitted and we were told to expect he’d be in for one to two weeks. We were kind of surprised by that. When he had pneumonia last time he went to hospital, but it was only for a night, or maybe two. Then given antibiotics and sent home. We thought maybe it was worse this time so he’d have to be in a little longer, but we really thought he’d be home in a week. But no, he was in for the full two weeks. Turns out he had bacterial pleurisy and pneumonia.

During the second week of his stay I started to get sick. I had two days of a sore throat that I refused to admit to, then the snot started to run and the chest cough began. The worst part was that it meant I couldn’t visit Steve in the hospital and he was left with only Google translate for company. I ended up being pretty sick for two weeks, I’ve only just now managed to shake the cough and start feeling back to almost normal again.

Before I got sick I was able to clean the whole apartment though, so it was nice for when Steve got home. Also I had a horrible thought that my lack of cleaning ability contributed to him getting sick.

It’s going to be a really long recovery. He’s going to have to rebuild his fitness all over again and it’s probably going to be a setback to his weight loss as well.

Going to the gym or running was hampered by not having any free time because I spent it all with Steve at the hospital, and then by being sick. But I tried a run/walk just the day before yesterday and was surprised that I was able to run a little. I managed 5k in 40 minutes, which I was actually pretty happy with! The next day I went to the gym and did a bunch of lifts at a lower weight than I normally would, just to ease back in. I also kept the session pretty short. It felt good, but I could tell that I was still recovering and I’ll have to ease back into carefully.

I ate pretty poorly while Steve was in hospital too. I’m back on track this last week though, and really focussing on getting fresh veggies into meals more.

Mentally I’ve been really up and down. I’m sure some of that is due to the stress of Steve being in hospital, but I feel like that’s just part of it. Even before he got sick I had some moments of crying at things that wouldn’t normally upset me. I’m trying to keep an eye on this. There’s not much I can do in the way of taking time off work, which is my usual first step for getting back on top of things. But I’m trying to make sure I sleep enough, eat decently and get some exercise.

Writing

Last month I had a Top Story on Vocal! I was amazed and it was so cool to get some comments from people, and I’m really glad my story resonated with some of you. I have some ideas for more, but with everything going on this month I just haven’t had time to or the mental bandwidth to get the words out.

My short story for the month was only 500 words and I left it quite late, but I did it. I also wrote extra that I might use towards next months, or maybe it’s just for practice.

Study

Language study has been minimal. Duolingo and Wanikani.

I didn’t do any other kind of study last month. I’m considering dropping this section for a while until I pick up a new course or decide on something I want to focus on.

Business

Despite earlier concerns, this month's income from the audiobooks was higher than expected. Next month will give us a clearer picture though, but it might not be as bad as initially thought.

The craft business just kind of plodded along, I didn’t really push anything this month because of all the upheaval. I connected with a person who’s doing some similar things to me, so that was cool and I just signed up for another zine. This one is for profit so there will be a lot more applicants and I might not get accepted. But it’s with the same person that I did the charity zine with so I hope that counts for something and I get picked. I’m already working on the pattern, so even if I don’t get chosen, I still have a new pattern to put out. Also the deadline is in August when I’ll be mid move, but I would get it submitted early so it’s out of the way. I really hope I get in though!

Etsy numbers last month: 54 views, 77 visits, 1 sale

Etsy numbers this months: 49 views, 67 visits, 1 sale

Numbers are a little down, but I’m not really concerned because I haven’t done anything to build them. I put one new pattern up. My goal for next month is get the 2 other finished patterns I have up there as well and hopefully finish the new pattern for the zine, or if I don’t get accepted, just for myself.

Finances

I’m feeling a little less worried after seeing the audiobook income this month, but still the same underlying worries about general living expenses in the future as well as what it’s going to cost to get us to NZ.

I don’t have much to add to this section, but I’m keeping it in because it’s so important, and because in a few months I’ll have more to add, once I’m able to start budgeting in NZ

Work

I had a lot of days off this month to be at the hospital as well as my own bout of illness. I left early a lot of days when I was there. It looks like my new Vice Principal is going to be a stickler for the rules as well, which means I’m going to have to use my leave days. My old Vice Principal was pretty relaxed and would often let days off slide because I’d previously “worked over”. Not this guy though, I think I’m going to be logging absences down to the hour. That’s ok, I’ll just log my “over work” to the hour as well.

On the downside though, it does mean I’m not going to have as much leave to use at the end of my contract.

As for the actual work, there’s not much I need to do except show up to classes when I have them. I can reuse lesson plans so I don’t have to do any planning really. The rest of the time I have free to write, read and job/house hunt.

The Big Move

I’ve had meetings with two different recruiters. One was run basically like an interview, the lady was kind of inept and I didn’t get a great vibe from her. The other one was much more promising, the guy seemed pretty upfront and has already said he’s contacted one place to tell them about me.

I’m not a person who believes in ‘signs’ but the name of the more promising company is the same as the last big project that I worked on in Aus.

Next month it will be time to start getting serious about rentals too. I’m both nervous and glad that there’s something I can actually start doing.

During the apartment clean I started to mentally categorise things as ‘take with us’, ‘leave here’, and ‘throw away’. I haven’t actually taken any action on this yet, but the mental cogs are starting to turn. I’m finding that so many decisions and actions are dependent on other things. I can’t decide what I’m taking with us until I know how much luggage I can take and if I can buy additional. I won’t know that until I hear from my Board of Education about departure procedures. I can’t decide how much to box up and send via post until I know when we’ll have an address in NZ. It’s going to be hard to secure a rental before I secure a job. I keep writing lists and flow charts to see what depends on what. It helps ease my anxiety.