Dealing with Quarter-Life Crisis: Are We Fighting Alone?

Hi everyone! Have you ever felt like you're struggling to find your way in your twenties? Have you ever felt lost in track of who you want to be someday?

You might be surprised to know that you're not alone in this. Many others, maybe even someone reading this right now, are facing similar challenges.

Today's talk is about how you don't have to be alone on this journey of life. Are you ready? Alright, let’s start.

We all try our best to find "happiness" in this life. Do you agree? Or let's take the discussion to a deeper level. We are all gathered here now in an endless quest to discover the meaning of life. Let us keep this in mind. Our goal is to find our purpose and happiness.

But let's start with the fascinating duality of identity.

Have you ever noticed that when we interact with other people, we often project different versions of ourselves? Our social identity, the one we share with the world, can sometimes be drastically different from our private identity, the one we experience when we're alone. This phenomenon is universal; it's part of being human. In Japan, we may be familiar with the word "本音と建前".

Why do I start this discussion with duality? because I think that duality is one of the ways we protect ourselves from problems in socializing. If we don't feel stressed in socializing, at least we are one step ahead in achieving happiness.

But the thing is, the effect of duality can lead to a sense of inner conflict. We may ask ourselves: "Am I being authentic? Do I even know who I really am? We may experience moments of self-doubt and confusion. I will discuss these in more detail later.

Now, let’s move on to our main topic for today’s session. "Quarter Life Crisis".

A quarter-life crisis is like a mysterious time that some people go through in their 20s or early 30s. It's when you feel kind of lost, like you're in a big maze. You start asking a lot of questions, like "What's the point of my life?" and "Am I on the right track?" It's a bit like searching for clues about who you really are and what you want to do with your life. To make it sound even simpler, it is a time when you are desperately searching for your soul.

So why does it affect so many people in their 20s and 30s? There are several reasons: It is the transition to adulthood, uncertain thoughts about future long-term careers, relationship issues including romantic partners, friendships, family or relatives, and lastly financial pressures.

Also, research on LinkedIn Pressroom found that 75% of people aged 25 to 33 have experienced this quarter-life crisis. As you can see, the top 59% of people said that most of them felt unsure about what to do next in their professional lives, and the next 54% of people were frustrated.

This seems to be a very relatable number for you and me. And the reason why is that from primary school to university, it's a time when we have a clear understanding of what we should achieve. We work hard in our studies to improve our grades, cherish fun moments, and actively participate in club activities, representing the school and leading junior members. To go to university, we aim for high scores in the entrance exams.

Achieving these important goals, step by step, helps to shape who we are today. However, after entering university or starting a job, don't we often ask ourselves, "What's next?” it is kind of hard to find the answer because we have no idea, and don’t know where to start. And on top of that, society seems to tell us that we can be anyone in the world, but they don't tell us how to make that happen.

During this time, you may feel uncertain about almost everything. It can be stressful because you're trying to figure out the big things, like finding your purpose in life in such a short time. The struggles are real, and the pressures sometimes could make someone want to quit their life.

Looking back at what we've talked about so far, don't you think that the concepts of 'quarter-life crisis' and duality are related? We can begin to think that this sense of duality can be a central part of the Quarter Life Crisis, reflecting the inner struggle to find one's true self and to navigate the expectations of society and of oneself.

Also, same as “duality”, this quarter-life crisis is a common phenomenon. It is a part of us being human. And right now, one way of resolving the problem is to understand that we all have different facets, and this realization can be both a source of challenge and a path to self-discovery at this critical stage of life.

Enough for the theories and boring numbers, from now on, I want to share my experience as well as my ideas.

About four weeks ago, I finally turned 20 years old. Before blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, I wished, "I hope that in my 20s I can have a clear direction in life and be a blessing to others.

Many people might think that my life has been going well. I seem to be full of enthusiasm every day, and some people might think that I don't have any problems at all. That's not to say that I'm not struggling. Well, but I'm happy to have the image of a person who doesn't make life difficult for others. Even if I have a problem, not many people might know that I'm dealing with it because I tend to be calm. However, it is important to note that being calm does not mean that I never get angry. My family would understand that I just don't express my true feelings in front of others in order to maintain the image they have given me. Again and again; the concept of “duality”.

But then, about two weeks ago, I called my cousin. It’s been a very long time since we’ve talked to each other about our life progress. And then, when I was feeling vulnerable, her words resonated with me. She said, " You work so hard all the time that you don't need to, why don't you take some time off?". From there, I took a break to ponder and luckily, I think I found a way how to get through my twenties.

First, how about embracing our unique selves without comparing ourselves to others? Recognize that everyone has their process and their time and learn not to criticize easily. Second, connect deeply with others through open communication. Share your opinions through discussion and listen to others' opinions as well. Don't get caught up in your own stereotypes and value the opportunity to exchange opinions with others. By doing so, we can cherish long-lasting relationships.

These two approaches create a supportive environment to overcome personal challenges and radiate positivity to influence those around you. Remember, We got the power to change the world.

In short, the quarter-life crisis is also a time of growth and self-discovery. You are exploring who you are and what makes you happy. Even if it can be a little confusing, it can be a valuable part of your growth. Just remember, you don't have to have all the answers right now. You are on a journey, and it is all about finding your way through the maze that is life.

Reach out for support, express your feelings, and most importantly, the third point, is to listen to others. Sometimes your five minutes of listening can be a reason for someone to fight again for their life. Someone can relate to their story, and they don’t feel alone. In contrast, if we were the one who “listens”, we could feel that being able to help someone makes us want to put more than 1% effort into doing our best in life.

Since no one knows what the future holds, we can only live in the present. Let us cherish the "now" and face any difficulties with courage and curiosity! Enjoy life to the fullest, remembering to be grateful for all the support you receive, including the support of those around you!

As a final point, remember that the quarter-life crisis is a challenge that many people face, and it can leave us feeling lost and stressed. But don't face it alone. There are plenty of resources available to help us overcome this challenge, and with some help and support, we can come out stronger and more resilient than ever. Don't ever hesitate to ask for help. And if you notice changes around you, be the one to offer help.

This time can be a turning point towards a brighter, more authentic future. Hold out a little longer, and surely, we will come to understand the meaning of life, moving forward, closer to the happiness we think we deserve. We are on our way to creating ourselves! We can do this! Thank you!