Close minded

Close Mindedness is not nice. Close mindedness in addition to ignorance is worse. I've come across Americans who are like that often and that's not nice if you have to interact with them, especially for me. Because, I'm not the typical American who grew up in America all their lives and only knew one language. I know there are many Americans who are like that. But, I'm not.

My experiences are especially unique in that I have lived and studied in different countries while I was growing up. Before I turned 18, I have already lived and studied in 4 different countries. Even though these countries are all in Asia, they are still different in many ways that most people cannot understand unless they have lived and studied there which many haven't, much less these typical Americans. It may not be their fault but I just find it hard to interact with them, not because of languages, but because of culture and personality.

Anyways, the last interaction I had with this American was just unpleasant and it has made my depression worse. He was saying that it was sad that many of his friends have jobs but not him. So, I answered him by telling him that there are many job sites he can search for jobs and even showed him there were so many results on a job site and he can just narrow his search down. Then he seemed to get upset about what I told him as he said that he already had notifications set up like few times a day. He also said I sounded insulting to him. But I was just being who I am and that's how I approach things. I didn't intend to be insulting. Anyways, I just didn't feel well after that interaction and just felt very depressed.

I just don't understand why I have to be depressed all the time. I'm a happy person. I'm not a depressed person. But time and time again, some things have to happen to get me back into depression again. I feel this is just not fair to me, really. I can only feel sad and depressed till this pass. Sigh.

I had wanted to end my writing here but I have to have 600 words before my submission will be accepted. So, I'll continue..

I just feel many people cannot understand me. They don't know what my happiness is, what's the drive and motivation for me. I feel I honestly wear my passion on my sleeves. Maybe, that's different from others. So, when I'm being so passionate about some things, then I had to interact with someone who just... Anyways.. I'm a sensitive person.. I don't live in a vacuum. I've always been a sensitive person which also means you can easily get affected by things around.

It's best if we never had to interact with those who can only cause you distress and sadness. That's possible, but not if you have to deal with different types of people for work.

Even though I have already been in this country for many many years, there are still many things I honestly don't feel any affinity towards, such as sports, talk shows, movies or even the TV series that many Americans love. The only American TV series I like watching is related to Reality TV shows like the Bachelor's. I think that if I had grown up in this country, I would feel more affinity towards what most Americans like because then I would be more like the typical American. I would also probably not feel that bad with those interactions too.. But, that's not what happened with me.