To start this off, I would be lying if I said I hadn't been waiting for the day I would want to have a forever partner now. I wish for this since the day I was born and going in and out of relationships that never lasted until the 6 month mark, I've always wondered what have I truly learned along the way.
I always had a hard time choosing partners and I always ended up choosing the wrong ones constantly. I get constantly naive and a bit fast and that I do admit is one of my downfalls when it comes to looking for a partner too. I always put on the rose colored glasses before truly getting to know the person and when it's too late, I start realizing I chose the wrong partner and I get unhappy with my needs not being met. Every encounter and every person I've gotten to know and fell in love with all showed me lessons I learned along the way and I would say, each lessons all come from the pain I endured and the immense growth I had to take on this journey through the healing and single phases of my life.
Here are some of the things I found myself learning from, I do hope this advice is something you can learn from me as well.
1. Friendship Establishment
What does it mean? Well, in my case, before I jump ship into the whole relationship aspect, I really need to know who they are when they are friends with me. Who they truly are without hiding every part of them. When you become friends with someone, you tend to become comfortable in showing your good and bad sides, it's all in the matter of how much you tolerate, give boundaries and understand from the different sides they show you. Forgiveness is a big thing as well, and supporting while hoping they change is also another.
2. Lowering Expectations
This is truly my most important reminder to myself which is to always lower my expectations when getting to know someone. A lot of us will find difficulty in lowering our expectations when we get to know someone as the excitement of getting to know a guy or girl is heighten, thus we all tend to quickly put on our rose colored glasses and take pride into this new person.
3. Standard Checking
This is a very different thing I'll explain on deeply. We all have the ideal person, the ideal standards, the ideal partner and what not, do we? Don't lie about that. As we get to know someone, we have to check on their morals, beliefs, their abilities, who they are and many others to check whether or not it is some one you'll come to love and like and will pursue in the future. If the person is not apart of the standards we want, please, for the love of everything solid, don't! choose! them! It's just gonna be a heartbreaking fiesta and it'll be a whole different thing that you'll have to put in the work to heal yourself from so please, just for the love of everything, don't!
4. Reflecting Yourself
In every heartbreak or in every relationship, one shall must do the work to engage in growth and always do something to make sure you become the best version of yourself whether it is you are single or in a relationship. Growth is an essential thing when we become and flourish to be the best versions of who we are. In a relationship, we also have to grow a bond, grow ourselves whether together or apart to become a better and loving partner. If one person does all the growing, what is the point in even jumping into the relationship for, right? Never forget, always make sure to reflect to always become the best versions of ourselves and for our partners. Support them in their growth, do not hinder them or make them stagnant. That will cause a relationship to be rocky.
5. Bare Minimums are Necessities
If a guy/girl does the bare minimum, do not be impressed with their actions. Allow them to do those necessities but watch how they do it. Is it from sincerity? Compliments? From the heart? Genuine? In the end, the bare minimums all come from the intentions they do. Bare minimums are the true necessities in a relationship. If they try to impress you with that bare minimum action, just don't be impressed by it as you can do it too. At the end of the day, everyone knows the bare minimum is the basic necessities in any relationship.
6. Never Doubt the Ability to Trust Yourself
One and more solid advice is to always trust yourself. You know what's best. You can always refer and ask for friends, families and more for advices and gaining a different perspective but you yourself know who you are, what you want and how you'll get it. Never doubt yourself because the partners we choose today are the partners we would grow together with then. So always remember, choose a partner wisely and carefully.
Well, that does conclude everything I do want to advice. Hopefully this helped you out but if you would wanna leave out some more, comment below to help each other out when choosing the right partners.