Change is Infinite

When I was a child, they told me I could be anything that I wanted to be, and that whatever I decided to do I would be rewarded if I gave it my best effort. Most kids were just spouting out what they heard from their parents. They said they wanted to be things like a fireman or a lawyer. Most of the boys specifically wanted to play *insert sport* professionally, and most little girls wanted to be nurses, doctors, or astronauts. They were all great aspirations because in that moment all of it was true. Children who haven’t experienced the world only know what they’ve seen and heard, and so it was only natural that these kids wanted what their parents wanted for them… to have a decent life. In that brief instance although it was just regurgitated information, they wholeheartedly wanted exactly what their parents expected out of them. However, we all weren’t so lucky in that aspect. My mother was a strong, proud woman who didn’t take kindly to people telling her she couldn’t do things (anything) to be exact. She entered the workforce at the ripe age of twelve, full time and graduated high school, and college while rearing children. My Father was in the same hemisphere and had been working since he was a child on his father’s farm. He also worked full time, and went to school, but had enough of his racist counterparts and superiors and dropped out. This would inevitably push him toward the army so he could leave his small town and go see the world and while exploring the world he met my mother.

When they had me, things changed for them and by force they changed for me also. We moved from our country state to a then small metropolis which would then grow into a full-blown city. The decision wasn’t a personal one though as my father was still in the military and had to go where they needed him. I was too young to remember all the good times, but I do remember that section of my life was the most I ever spent with my parents together. By six however, things had changed to what I mostly remember from my childhood and that was work. My Father had retired from the military, and my mother was back working two jobs. She was a full-time nurse for two different companies, and on top of that also took care of her own patients individually on the weekends. My Father now retired had no sense of the word relax had also picked up a full-time position as a truck driver and was gone most of the month. The times that I did see them weren’t always the most comfortable or enjoyable, and usually ended up with me in my room in the dark in solitude. Now at the time I didn’t understand this; I thought my parents detested me growing up. My friends were able to do anything they wanted. Ride bikes with whoever, stay out until after the lights came on, they didn’t have to wake up on Sunday morning and stay out all day etc. etc.

My parents did however teach me about all the joys of life. My Mother would constantly antagonize and question me about having a child young emphasizing the strain in doing so; usually using my sisters as an example for what not to do when growing up as they were “kicked out” or “left early” depending on who’s story I listened to. My Mother would also have me drive around the city with her and listen to the conversations she would have with various people. Whether the chat went well or terrible I was able to decipher what kind of person I wanted to become from these conversations and how people treated my mother based on her actions toward them. She taught me valuable lessons on trust and how to maneuver around people and their feelings to achieve goals. Likewise, my father (who I didn’t see much of) would always offer me stern advice and dreary conversation. He taught me that people in this world were evil and only cared about themselves; he would tell me how to attentively watch people’s actions to decipher their character and hidden character flaws. He taught me that anything in this world is achieved through discipline, perseverance, and hard work. Most of all he taught me that dreams don’t come true because someone wishes for them to be. I used to think those years spent with them were a waste of time and energy. Like most I couldn’t wait to get out into the world and do my own thing far, far away from them until I started to do just that. I realized early that life was terrible, but I missed the part where they would be right about almost everything.

It’s forced me to think about life as a series of changes. Depending on when a person dies, we all have a certain number of physical changes that we go through automatically. Infant, Toddler, adolescents, adulthood and so on until we pass, and those changes naturally propel us to where we must be because of our age. No child will think the same about his/her environment by the time they are an adult (at least they shouldn’t). They could, but the world is changing everyday whether we do or not and to not change is to put oneself behind the curve. Which got me thinking about when we were all kids and they asked us about what we wanted to be as adults. Everyone I remember that aspired to be something great in life or had a goal they knew they could achieve has given up. They stayed with the same group of people, they never pushed themselves out of their comfort zone and got trapped in the “circle of life”. They forgot to change and are now being punished for it. The humor is the punishment imitates success in every way only with ignorance leading the plan. Surviving in the middle class, having to work until and after retirement, having nothing to pass on to their children and all while being able to sleep comfortably at night because they think this is the best that life has to offer.

The only thing I wanted to be when I grew up is rich. No matter what the career was or who I had to meet to get there that’s all I ever wanted. I knew that money at least on this Earth would solve anything. If I had enough money, I could chase whatever I loved doing for however long I wanted to without worry. Of course, there were people that said money wouldn’t buy happiness, but I thought how would they know if they were broke as well? Also, it made no sense to me why I would attach my success to something tangible. What if I wasn’t good at English, but I aspired to become a lawyer… it probably wouldn’t turn out well; the same way if I wanted to become a professional basketball player but I max out in height at 5’4 it’s not impossible, but the odds of me achieving that goal/dream aren’t great. Now I could keep pursuing that career or I have the option of being someone/something completely different. The change that I must undergo will be hard, but it equals the harshness that I’ll undergo attempting to be great at something that I’m naturally not suited for.

So, by definition yes, we can do anything that we want. There is no restriction (if we want it bad enough) on what we can achieve. However, if something isn’t working it isn’t wise to keep doing so for the rest of one’s lifetime. Change is good but being open to change is even better because we all know how horses can be led to water but not forced to drink any. The same applies to all of us; the world is constantly moving leading us to where we need to be, but if we don’t listen and accept stagnation, we accept defeat. In the same breath the same can be said about teaching our youth to stay in one place and pursuing one thing. Why would we teach them to do something that the world they must live in will never do? How will we teach them to move with the world if we ourselves are at a standstill? There isn’t another option we must keep moving, we must keep changing.