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Borrowing For Momentum

The Investment Enterprise

By Z-ManPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
Pretty sick, huh? Just realized it looks like my skeletal structure is showing. Lmao

Perhaps it is only a fantasy of mine, but I know I have things to contribute to people--things which would be barterable for cash for living, in all aspects of the word--and know I can do something for them that is not only helpful, but elegant, inspiring, valuable, etc. It is the getting into that position that is, cut and dry, the issue.

There are, of course, pillared behaviors which have aided in sabotaging me over the years. I have always seen myself as a friend to people, though I don't just give my trust out so freely. Maybe it's because I was raised mostly around females, but I am still "naturally" (perhaps naturally) more timid about certain aspects of social communication, being empathetic and also kinesthetic, more aware of my body and driven fearful by its machinations at times.

Living on shaky ground, you know, lmao.

I was gonna say maybe my issue is trying to feed others with material that is too rich for them to palate (in verb form, which doesn't seem to exist for it, but feck it, lol), but it probably comes down to limiting myself through "one" mode, or avenue, instead of nurturing however many derivations would be necessary to satiate the entire, general whim.

Big things, like my movie, book editing, comic book project, et al, are really the products, ultimately, to sell to a niche audience. And because that audience must, essentially, be sculpted, nourishment now plainly goes out the window. If I was already famous, that would be a different story. Or, I should say, if I was already marketable it would be.

But it's fighting the quick fix that is the nail in the coffin so many times over. And I am no stranger to filling that role in my own life in terms of others. It is simply such as remains the weight of our society and our potential as living inhabitants of it.

Now, being unemployed for three weeks, I have had plenty of time to laser through layers of material and fodder to get me that much closer to the potential for financial "birth" and blooming. However, I say that to illustrate that, even with so much time and opportunity, I have still not invested to the extent which such space should have warranted. It's like being turned inside out, as a cow in an aliens-related scenario, is the only goddamn means of moving forward. The gasses are loosed, and the inner mechanics are exposed to fresh air, while the flesh wholly remains.

And that was not just a humorous (or perhaps attempt at a humorous) example, metaphor...thing. I was quite serious typing that in, lol. I presume there are a few of you that already know that by now!!

Now, I won't profess to be here to be friends with everybody, and to kiss everyone's ass, dedicated and other readers, alike. But I will say that I am here to ignite a fire in my own life, and to give all that I can freely and willingly to you, my fellow beings, regardless of what I get in return beyond necessary saturation. I am simply in the same mess that you are all in, and, similarly or dissimilarly (I won't profess to be esoteric in concluding one way or another, regardless of common sense)...

remain just as cursed to make whatever decisions are proved to be necessary to survive in this place.

All I have ever known as truth is love, and joy, and anything else that constitutes what is, ultimately, and in place of whatever word or otherwise belongs on its throne, happiness. I only wish I knew what was right; what the divine requests of me.

The eternal struggle?

The eternal misconception?

Who knows.

Who knows?

heroes and villainshumorhumanityhow tohistory

About the Creator



Hello all! I am an aspiring vocalist, filmmaker + writer. I hope you gain something personal + inspiring from my work here. You are also welcome to subscribe to my YouTube Channel: Ad-Libbing With The Zman.

Thank You!



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