Body Positivity Should Include Men Too

Too big. Too skinny. Not tall enough. Funny hair. Weird nose.

Nowadays, making those kinds of comments about a woman is almost a guarantee you’ll get yelled at, maybe even slapped. We’ve made great strides when it comes to female body positivity, after all.

But what can be an obvious faux pas when interacting with women remains a common way of talking about men — sometimes of talking to men.

In fact, insulting a guy’s appearance can be seen as behavior that’s normal and acceptable, even funny. Somehow, the world seems to have made one big joke of men’s physical “flaws”, not at all minding whether statements that may be hilarious for some can already be damaging to the mental health and self-esteem of others.

There’s No Gender When It Comes to Insecurities

While the world is slowly realizing that beauty is subjective and a person’s looks should never be discriminated against, it’s still a courtesy that we seem to only be extending to the female side of the population.

As a matchmaker, body positivity is an important part of my job. Not only do most people have preferences for the kind of partner they’re searching for, it’s also hard to find love for someone who thinks “attractive” is just something they’re not.

Men, in particular, are slowly being convinced that the standards some women have may just be a little too impossible to live up to, resulting in them either entering the dating scene with very low confidence or giving up entirely on catching the eye of someone special.

How could they not, when people are careful about discussing female bodies but so casual about derogatory remarks aimed at men’s looks?

With little to no available support for overcoming male physical insecurities, is it any wonder why a lot of men still believe that campaigns for equality just don’t seem to include them?

It’s Time to Support Men of All Shapes and Sizes

In all my years working to match people up with the love of their lives, I’ve picked up on plenty of beliefs that have made it hard for men to have faith in body positivity.

Apparently, anything less than “tall, dark, and handsome” is just not gonna cut it. If a guy isn’t the clone of Brad Pitt or any of the chisel-jawed actors who’ve played James Bond, then women are simply never gonna look his way.

Obviously, this isn’t true. And the best way to convince men of that is to start letting them know that when we say, “Everyone is beautiful”, that includes them too.

• Not All Women Want Abs (Or Muscles)

The sooner people realize that a six-pack doesn’t automatically make men attractive or healthy, the easier everybody’s lives are going to be.

Pecs may be nice and all, but if a guy’s heart is not his strongest muscle, they still won’t do him any good when it comes to being a good person and a great lover.

• No Hair? Don’t Care!

One of the reasons why older men think they’re no longer handsome is due to significant hair loss. Whether or not you believe in the connection of testosterone levels and male pattern baldness, we all know that’s just not true. In fact, plenty of recent studies even suggest that some women prefer bald men to their long-haired counterparts.

(And if the opposite is true — if the issue is being “too hairy” — well, one look at the covers of famous bodice-rippers is all a man needs to boost his confidence.)

• Size Doesn’t Matter (As Much as You Think)

Here’s the thing: a person’s masculinity can’t be measured by a stadiometer or a weighing scale.

True male body positivity can only be achieved when we finally accept that short can be attractive too — whether it’s in terms of height or of other body parts women have a vested interest in.

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Previosuly published on Medium