Standards Women Have That Are “Too High,” According to Men

A Psychology Today article revealed that lonely single young and middle-aged men are on the rise.

Relationship status may not seem like much on paper, but it can spell trouble for men’s health and happiness. How? Some studies have shared that men tend to live longer if they’re married.

Why has this been happening, you ask? One reason is their overwhelming majority (62%) on dating apps, which makes for stiffer competition. Another factor is skill deficits; if you’re a guy with poor communication skills, the odds of having healthy relationships are lower.

One equally relevant contributor is relationship standards. While browsing Reddit, I encountered a thread discussing about women having unreasonable standards for men. One Redditor had this to say about the subject:

Women seem to want everything compacted into one guy.

Bad boy who treats her with love and respect, except in bed where he basically uses her, but will magically never cross a line she’s uncomfortable with.

She wants him to be desired by other women while he stays monogamous and loyal to only her.

She wants a confident, but not cocky guy. A very good looking dude with little or no time spent away from her at the gym, and never intruding on her own eating habits.

Another Redditor left this interesting comment:

Woman standers are to high not because they list them, but because they don’t list of care about the other ones. Very often these unwritten requirements are just chocked down to “vibes.”

Guys have to somehow fit a mold while also being unique. They have to approach while being charismatic, assertive, and sexuality flirting to make the girl feel comfortable and sexuality interested with out being to much charismatic, assertive, and sexuality flirting because then they are creepy.

And lastly, this Redditor didn’t hold back on the topic:

If men who fit your standards aren’t willing to commit to you then your standards are too high.

Before I proceed, I’d like to make one thing clear: everyone should have standards. Just like expectations, they’re a normal part of relationships. After all, we deserve great partners.

However, standards can easily spiral into unreasonable models. The Reddit discussion mentioned above shows such an example. Rather than enjoying the dating scene, you’ll just get lost trying to meet them. So yes, there’s such a thing as having standards that are “too high.” I’ll share some unreasonable ones women have while looking for their dream guys. But before I dive into specifics, let’s discuss the difference between standards and expectations because people often use the two terms interchangeably.

Standards vs. Expectations

Some parameters guide people’s behaviors in relationships. We can split them into two: standards and expectations.

Standards

Going by its Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition, standards are “something established by authority, custom, or general consent as a model or example.” In the case of relationships, they’re qualities that should exist before entertaining romance.

Expectations

On the other hand, expectations are ideas someone has about how they want things to play out. In the context of this entry, they are strong beliefs about how people should act.

Unreasonable Standards Women Have

Now that the difference between standards and expectations is clear, let’s get into the former. These are the unattainable standards women have in their search for men:

Men who are at least six feet tall

Some ladies seek men who are, at least, six feet tall. Why? They want to feel protected by their big, strong lovers while maintaining a ladylike appearance.

There’s a science to this. According to evolutionary psychologists, women dream about being with taller men to protect them from predators, better their odds of survival, and have strong offspring.

The thing is, men six feet tall and over comprise only 14.5% of the American population. If your height is a total dealbreaker for your object of affection, perhaps you’re better off with someone else without height requirements.

Men who earn six figures

Times are hard nowadays. Increasing prices show no signs of slowing down, which should be everyone’s concern.

And with that said, men with six-figure salaries aren’t anyone’s piggy banks. There’s a reason why they’re earning their current rates! They’ve invested a lot of time, knowledge, and effort to get to their current salaries.

These men don’t haphazardly spend their hard-earned money. Like everyone else, they commit to budgets to keep their lifestyles in check.

Men with chiseled bodies

A healthy body is a bare minimum for everyone. For several women, a sign of that is a six-pack of abs.

To them, defined muscles are not only an indicator of good health but strength as well. It’s the same reason women desire tall men: they want someone capable of physical protection.

The back and forth between men and women

What is the point to all of this? Which side has the pendulum swung? And all the men who lament the high standards of women equally worthy partners themselves?

The real answer, perhaps, is that through all the noise men and women make about what’s fair, unfair, right, or wrong with dating today, we simply cannot solve all our dating woes with a broad stroke.

We, men and women both, should solve dating at an individual level, because at the end of the day, we aren’t dating everyone esle we don’t like.

We are dating only people we do like and with whom we get along.

Yes, women’s standards are rising. And maybe, if you’re a man, you’re running out of options.

But you really aren’t. Don’t give in to all of this modern-day gaslighting.

Focus on yourself, and what’s good for you.

Because when you get yourself sorted out, you’ll attract a quality woman with the right standard — you.

And vice versa. Don’t fall into the dating-app conundrum of fitting a profile.

We can’t change how other people think, no matter how unfair it may seem. The answer to all this is to focus on one standard — yours. Because in the game of dating and romance, you only need to win once.

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Previously posted on Medium