A story of memories

The next day I woke up and I saw a car in the front yard, and I knew this car. I have seen this car before when I was at nans home, it was my grandpa’s car. And as soon as I realized it, I ran to that car and found my nan walking out of the car. I started crying badly, for had wished to be taken away from that place, and she answered. I was leaving that community, but I felt bad for the other kids who still had to live there. So, before I left, I gave my respects to those from around the fire place. I left moments later. Driving off in my grandparents’ car. Once I left, I felt relieved, released, liberated, freed and rescued from a prison.

My life was turning to a new path and my grandmother would be my mentor through the thick and thin. My nan would be my main guardian, along with my grandfather. Because they told me that my mom had become unstable, when I was gone. I could not see my mom, and would not see her for some time. But in the meantime, my nan was preparing me for school. And I got to tell you I had not been to school ever since I had lived in that community. And when I did go to school, I was always getting into trouble for not listening to the teachers, or for starting up a fight. I was a wild card. Because I had gotten so used to fighting for everything, and always being on edge, always being suspicious of everyone. I had no trust with anyone, even my own grandmother at first. But I loved just as much as my mother.

After attending school many times and trying my very best, I felt out of place, that I didn’t belong there. I always kept to myself and I made myself clear to everyone around, including my cousins. “If you go anywhere near or bother me, I will show what I am made”. I made everyone understand me. And so, I was alone for most of my first years of school, but it did not bother me. I felt safe and sound when was alone. In the school at recess and lunch I would always go to my favorite tree, where I could have a little nap. For whenever I had a break in school, I would just try to zone out and have a snooze, because I still had nightmares about the things has happened to me. I would have nightmares almost every night and at one point I was punching the wall in my sleep. I woke up standing Infront of a wall and I cracked it, my were not bruised at all. Nan found me and put me back to sleep. I asked her what happened and she told me that I had a bad nightmare. She wasn’t wrong. I dreamt of fighting, but was just dreaming. At my young years fighting anything that life would throw at me and to survive whatever I came across, I was all I knew then. But my grandparents guided me to the new path that eventually changed what I thought and how behaved to others.

One time grandma told “You have gone through a lot for someone of your age, but what you have gone through has made you strong inside yourself and outside. And the ones who struggle they are tested by God himself. He has tested you my grandson and you have proven yourself to be very strong and resilient. But your story has just begun, there will be times when you are broken, lost, confused, forgotten, frustrated and hated. But you must never forget that there is hope and there is good and that you must never ever give up. You will understand one day when you are ready” At the time I did not understand what she meant, but now I do.

“To progress you must change. To change you must let go. To let go you accept what is”