Laughter
DATING APPS – THE USED CAR LOT OF LOVE (NOW WITH MORE MILEAGE AND LESS HOPE)
WELCOME TO THE DIGITAL AUTO MALL OF DESPAIR Welcome to modern romance, where love is no longer found in smoky bars or awkward setups from your aunt. It’s parked on a virtual lot next to a thousand other vehicles, all shouting: “Low mileage! Great paint job! Serious inquiries only!”
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
Survival of the Wittiest: Was Human Language Driven by Humour?
According to a daring new study that was published in PNAS Nexus, human language evolution was motivated by wit rather than just the necessity to survive. Ljiljana Progovac, a linguist at Wayne State University, suggests that sexual selection actively favoured quick-wittedness, or the capacity to connect words in smart, humorous ways. It's possible that our predecessors joked their way into sophisticated language.
By Francis Dami7 months ago in Humor
THE SPINAL FRONTIER:
Forget the Mayo Clinic. Forget those "scientists" in their sterile labs, squinting at double-blind studies like they’re trying to decode the Matrix. If we want to Make America Healthy Again, we need to stop listening to people who understand how cells work and start listening to the guy in the strip mall next to the Vape Depot who can "realign your soul" for $75 and a firm handshake.
By Meko James 7 months ago in Humor
The Housing Market is on Fire... Literally. Rent Comes with Free Marshmallows Now.
Welcome, You Brave Homeless Souls Congratulations, reader. If you’re viewing this newsletter, it means you can still afford Wi-Fi… Cherish that… Because according to Zillow, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is now an arm and a leg, one functioning kidney, a vial of dragon’s blood, and three Funko Pops from 2018.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
Duct Tape, Bubble Gum, and Baling Wire: The Poor Man’s Welding Torch
They say necessity is the mother of invention. But out here in the real world, it’s more like duct tape, bubble gum, and baling wire are the unholy trinity of emergency repair… and she is one tough mama.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
It Began As A Mistake
Welp, crap. I guess I should say sorry for that, and of course, I am, well, mostly. I mean, it really wasn't like you didn't expect someone to, well, you know, and I don't know, I just couldn't help myself. You know, it might bring you some comfort in knowing that it was me and not some random stranger that did it. In that case, you're welcome, seriously sweetie, it was my pleasure.
By Kelli Sheckler-Amsden7 months ago in Humor
The Greatest Pranks Are The Ones You Commit Everything To
Pranks can be a good time, but they do, sometimes, present some risk. Some of the pranks that I played when I was younger, particularly in my earlier years, are not things I would attempt today. For example, when two girls that me and my college age buddy were constantly getting us, including things like toilet papering the tree in front of my house, or egging his car, or weird phone calls before caller i.d. was a thing, us guys set out on a mission to prove our superiority as pranksters. But what were we to do?
By Jason Morton7 months ago in Humor
Why the Rich Never Tell White Lies After Labor Day
Every year, as the last rosé is chilled, the final seaplane taxis off to Aspen, and Labor Day folds its socially acceptable linen napkin, an ancient tradition quietly stirs among the elite: They stop telling white lies. Why you ask?
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
An Apology for Bringing the Squirrel into Church
Dear Members of First Self-Righteous Church, I write this with a humbled heart, a sore back, and a memory that replays in vivid, chaotic detail. I must apologize for bringing that squirrel into your church last Sunday. Every shriek, hallelujah, and blush-worthy confession began with my decision. I take full responsibility.
By Tim Carmichael7 months ago in Humor
