Small Funny jokes " Part 3 "

41.Five Thousand Rupees Son: “Dad, you promised if I passed my exams, you’d give me five thousand rupees.” Father: “Yes, I did.” Son: “Well… congratulations—you just saved yourself five thousand rupees.” --- 42. Rickshaw Driver Passerby: “How much to take me to the train station?” Rickshaw driver: “A hundred dollars.” Passerby: “Make it fifty.” Rickshaw driver: “Nobody goes for fifty.” Passerby: “Fine, you sit in the back, and I’ll drive you there!” --- 43. Halwa (Sweet Dessert) Four guys entered a sweet-eating contest. Three of them fainted from overeating, but the fourth one started crying loudly. People asked: “Why are you crying?” He said: “Because if I faint too… who’s gonna finish the rest of the dessert?”

--- 44. Central Jail In court, a theft suspect said: “Your honor, I’m all alone in this world. No home, no food, no job, no friends.” The judge said: “That’s very sad. I’ll send you to a place where you’ll have shelter, meals twice a day, plenty of new friends—and all at government expense.” The accused asked happily: “Where?” Judge: “To prison.” --- 45. Airport A man noticed a woman in the market wearing a very tight outfit covered with airplane prints. He stayed quiet at first, but finally the woman snapped: “What? Haven’t you ever seen airplanes before?” Man replied: “Airplanes, yes… but never an airport!” --- 46. Wooden Hand A man on trial for theft protested: “This isn’t fair! My right hand committed the theft, but you want to jail my whole body?” The judge said: “Fine. Just leave your right hand in jail, then.” The man instantly unscrewed his wooden hand, placed it on the judge’s desk, and walked out. --- 47. Exhibition The former president of France once visited an abstract art exhibit in Paris. Someone asked him: “What do you think of abstract art?” He replied: “Well, in my long life, I’ve learned one thing—you don’t need to understand everything.” --- 48. Wig A young man bribed his girlfriend’s little brother: “Bring me just one lock of your sister’s hair and I’ll give you five dollars boy replied: “Give me one, and I’ll bring you her whole wig!” --- 49. Fake Grandma said to her grandson: “Whenever you cough, always cover your mouth with your hand.” The boy replied: “Don’t worry, Grandma—my teeth aren’t fake like yours.” --- 50. Chicken’s Chick Master: “I told you to feed the baby chicken with rice, but you gave it to the cat!” Servant: “Sir, the baby chicken is inside the cat now.” --- 51. Rain Teacher: “Why are you so late to school?” Student: “Sir, the rain made the road so muddy that whenever I stepped forward, I slipped two steps back.” Teacher: “Then how did you ever make it here?” Student: “Simple, sir. I turned around and faced toward home.” --- 52. Begging Friend 1: “No one in my family has ever worked for anyone.” Friend 2: “Then what did they do?” Friend 1: “They begged.” --- 53. Stork Teacher: “Why does a stork always stand on one leg?” Student: “Because if it lifts the other one too, it’ll fall down!” --- 54. Old Age King to his jester: “You are sentenced to death, but I’ll let you choose how you want to die.” The jester thought for a moment and said: “Your Majesty, I choose to die of old age.” --- 55. Fresh Mind A boy was studying while sitting in a tub of water. Father: “Why are you memorizing lessons while sitting in water?” Boy: “Dad, you told me to study with a fresh mind!” --- 56. First Period Professor: “Why do you come ten minutes late to the first class every single day?” Student: “Sir, I really try to come on time… but the girls’ college doesn’t open until ten minutes later.” --- 57. Trash An American woman slipped out of a window while cleaning and landed in a dumpster. She got stuck there. A foreign tourist walked by and said to his friend: “Wow, these Americans are so wasteful—they even throw away good stuff like this!” --- 58. New Office Boy Clerk: “Is the boss inside?” New office boy: “First tell me—are you a salesman, an insurance agent, or a friend of the boss?” Clerk (angrily): “I’m all of those! Now where is he?” Office boy (calmly): “If you’re a salesman, he’s in a meeting. If you’re an insurance agent, he’s out of town. But if you’re a friend—welcome! Please go right in, he’s inside.” --- 59. Little Mouse One night a man screamed when a mouse ran over him. People told him: “Relax, it’s just a mouse.” The man shouted: “Yeah, today it’s a mouse. Tomorrow it’ll be a cat. Then a dog. Then a donkey. Then a horse. Next thing you know—buses and trucks will start driving over me! I refuse to become a bridge!” --- 60. Dentist Patient: “Doctor, you’ve been pulling my teeth for days, and every time you pull the wrong one!” Dentist: “Don’t worry—today I’ll definitely get the right one.” Patient: “How can you be so sure?” Dentist: “Because now you’ve only got one left.”