Women's Interests

Fairness and Tamil Girls

A look at the Tamil screen shows that the heroines are fair- skinned. The cinema in Tamil Nadu is almost like a staple diet for the people and no wonder a plethora of stars have made a successful entry into politics as well. Jayalalitha was one such politician- star. I have to make a point here and that is in a galaxy of heroines on the silver screen, I have yet to see a dark-skinned heroine. Even Jayalalitha the star turned politician (sadly she is no more) is milky-white in complexion. These fair complexioned stars contribute to a beauty culture in South India where skin-whitening creams outsell soft drinks. Yet the fact is that most Tamil and south Indian girls are dark- complexioned. I wonder why a dark complexioned girl cannot strike out in the Tamil film industry.

One aspect that is overlooked is that the ancient scriptures, epics, or folk tales in Tamil or for that matter in any Indian language, the good character is always portrayed as being fair in complexion. A beautiful princess is always without fail described as being fair and white as snow. This is a dangerous portrayal as it is suggesting that the fair are fair dealing and the dark complexioned has evil intentions. This view has been expressed by Shyamala Bhatia, an associate professor in history at the Bharati College, University of Delhi.

If you add that the white race ruled India and their women were white than it becomes clear why the concept of fairness being superior is embedded deep within the Indian psyche.

But even after the white rulers went away, India's concepts of beauty has not changed. Thus milky-complexioned Tamil stars have led to a massive market for skin- lightening creams, the notion that white means beautiful is all pervading in South India. The word for fairness in Hindi is "GORI" and in Tamil it is Nērmai. I am afraid it will not go from the South Indian psyche.

I will close with a small anecdote. I had been called to give a guest lecture to students on the Law in Madras University. After the lecture I expected to be asked questions about the legal aspects of the lecture. Unfortunately all the girls surrounded me asked me what I did to keep my skin fair. I was nonplussed, as I don't do anything and am a Punjabi, albeit fair skinned.

If you add that the white race ruled India and their women were white than it becomes clear why the concept of fairness being superior is embedded deep within the Indian psyche.

But even after the white rulers went away, India's concepts of beauty has not changed. Thus milky-complexioned Tamil stars have led to a massive market for skin- lightening creams, the notion that white means beautiful is all pervading in South India. The word for fairness in Hindi is "GORI" and in Tamil it is Nērmai. I am afraid it will not go from the South Indian psyche.

I will close with a small anecdote. I had been called to give a guest lecture to students on the Law in Madras University. After the lecture I expected to be asked questions about the legal aspects of the lecture. Unfortunately all the girls surrounded me asked me what I did to keep my skin fair. I was nonplussed, as I don't do anything and am a Punjabi, albeit fair skinned.

Dealing With The Shades of Oldness

Let's not pretend it's not an issue: People in all "shades of oldness" need and want love and connection as much as younger people. Perhaps, even a lot more.

Long-standing retired widowers often have a particularly difficult time dealing with advanced age, especially when they are looking for a younger woman. They have a lot to overcome:

Brain chemistry changes

Physiological changes

Lifestyle induced decline that happens rapidly, insidiously

Loss of social awareness

Loss of boundary awareness

Unaware of their annoying behaviors

Loss of concern for personal cleanliness

Unaware of loss of physical attractiveness

For decades, married men often took their wives for granted. They had sex when they wanted it and didn't do anything to stay physically or sexually attractive. (not that the wife did, either). Truth is, they both took each other for granted.

When a woman loses her husband, assuming she still has a young-ish persona, and if she has paid even minimal attention to her social skills, she can usually get back into the dating game. She may not have much to choose from, but she's "in play". If a woman can paint her face, pull on her Spanx, and spray on some perfume, she can usually attract someone to share her life to one degree or another.

A man, however, will have a more difficult time, especially if he wants a much younger woman, or unless he is well set financially, in which case, he can usually attract whatever he wants.

Many men have long forgotten how to attract and interact with a new and probably younger woman who is more contemporary than the woman he had been living with for so many years. A man who has not aged well, be it the result of faulty genes, or health issues may have a difficult time. For example, a fastidious woman is turned off by seeing bad or missing teeth and bad breath. And, this is a BIG - a woman doesn't want to be a nurse. She's caring but she's done taking care of sick and needy children - or adults.

For some unfathomable reason, old men seem to think they should join the young men's trend to have facial hair. Think about it: an old/older man with a face full of shaggy white hair doesn't look sexy; he just looks 20 years older than he is and if the truth is told, he looks decrepit. And because he may not be as fastidious as he could be, his beard may be infested with a variety of food remnants and other remains which scientific testing has discovered may be rife with fecal bacteria.

Even though a man is not as sharp as he used to be and his body is shriveled to one degree or another, often, he still fancies himself an attractive stud any woman would desire. If you want to see something pathetic, watch an old guy at McDonald's ordering a cup of senior coffee and flirting with a female teenage order taker who tolerates him with a giggle and a smile because she can't afford to be unpleasant and perhaps lose her job.

Yes, at an advanced chronological age, life can be tough for both genders, but it doesn't have to be if an effort is made early on in life to preserve many of the gifts given to us by youth. Thinking and preparing ahead pay off.

NATURE BEAUTY