Why Couples Who Travel Together Have The Strongest Relationships

I love to travel. I mean, who doesn’t? Over the past 10 years my career has taken me all over the world, in fact, so has my partner's. He is a touring musician, I used to do porn. One of my favourite parts of my job was the lifestyle, yes, ok I complained that I was always tired, I lived out of a suitcase, I had very little social life and my schedule was bizarre and very full on… but guess what? So was his. There is NOTHING better then a partner that understands you.

Both of us had previously dated people that had issues with our work life, schedule and lack of time. I was dying to meet someone that fit into my life perfectly, and he did. We have a very specific set of circumstances, most people do not spend ever couple of days on a plane and most people have weekends off. However, travel is so important to me and my lifestyle, even now that we both travel less for work, I still yearn for it.

I am impatient, I get bored easily, I’m flighty, I have a lot of energy and I don’t like doing the same thing day in, day out. Hence why I could never work in an office. He is the same.

Obviously there are many other factors that contribute to a good relationship, but here are some of the reasons why couples who travel together go on to have strong and long lasting relationships:

Work Can Also Be Play:

On several occasions we have accompanied each other on work trips. Last Christmas my boyfriend was booked to play two shows in China. One on Christmas day, one on New Year's Eve. I went with him and we had a very bizarre non Christmas spent largely in airports and on planes. China was not my favourite place and I was also sick, but it was definitely something we will both never forget… ‘an experience’. In between the shows we visited Bali, which was my Christmas present to say thank you for coming all that way with him and opting our of Christmas and New Years, my favourite days.

This past summer I was doing shows in Oslo. Norway is my favourite country in the world and as a surprise, I booked tickets for him to accompany me. The good thing about only working for a few hours at night is that you have full days, that I would otherwise spend by myself, waiting till it was time to work, to go out and enjoy the sites.

Since we have been together we have travelled with each other for work purposes many times, I toured with him around the UK and helped out at the shows, he flew to Vegas with me for AVN. It makes what would be a regimented work experience into something that I will remember forever and can share with someone I love. Even if the trip is a disaster we can laugh about it, we can get through it together. I had a gigantic tantrum after the AVN awards in January and had he not been there to calm me down who knows what I would have done. We laugh about it now (sort of).

You Keep Things Interesting:

Now listen, I’m not stupid. Travelling is expensive. We all have kids, dogs, mortgages, all consuming work schedules and the million other commitments standing in the way of you and your 3 month instagramable beach holiday in Tulum.

But when you can, even if it’s a mini break in your own country, an Airbnb by the coast for a couple of days. DO IT. Be spontaneous and surprise each other, or plan a trip and enjoy choosing where to go. I take advantage of any time we have to go anywhere, a friends wedding? Make it a special trip… visiting my mum by the sea? Plan something fun and interesting to do.

There is nothing worse than feeling like your relationship is going stale, turning into groundhog day. You start to run out of things to say… did I already tell him what I had for lunch today? Is it even interesting enough to bother texting?

I don’t pretend to be a relationship expert, I also don’t pretend to have the perfect relationship OR be the most interesting adventurous person on the planet. I love a night in on the couch with my partner and my dogs more than most things in life, but largely because it is a treat to have that time with them. If I feel we are hitting a rut, or things are becoming repetitive in our lives I try to switch things up.

We are very lucky to be in a position to travel as much as we do, I know that, but taking a break from our normal schedule, even just for a night, can really keep things interesting, spice things up and give you memories and situations to talk about. I talk to my other half ALL day every day. As soon as I leave the house he is the first person I text or call, I never run out of things to tell him or say, I never run out of our memories that we can share and laugh at. Yes, we have an incredibly strong relationship based on many factors, but travelling does keep things fresh and exciting.

An Experience Is Better Than Stuff:

When it comes to Christmas and birthdays it is so easy to spend ridiculous amounts of money on crap. Tat that is funny for about 10 minutes, computer games you’ll play once, clothes you aren’t even sure if the other person will like. Wouldn’t you rather DO something? Take some time for you and your partner? We love to give holidays and mini breaks as presents, the best gift you can give is an experience, a memory that you’ll have forever. For my 30th birthday we went to Barbados, for his we did Iceland, for our first Christmas together we gave each other/ourselves a new years mini break in Amsterdam. That weekend made our relationship. It was the defining moment. Our first holiday together and we had only known each other 3 months.

If you haven’t been on holiday that year think about giving yourselves a holiday for Christmas instead of presents. If you don’t know what to get and you are ready to buy something they don’t really need, why not think about a weekend away. Last minute travel sites constantly have deals for under £200 that include amazing places like Spain and Morocco.

Treat yourselves to something you both really want and need rather then the usual 'stuff' we all get so used to buying.

You Get To Know More About Each Other:

There is no better way to get to know EVERYTHING about your other half than travelling with them. I find that people are a lot more vulnerable away from home, out of their comfort zone. People have certain creature comforts and things they are used to, when you take them away the reactions are diverse and very personal to the individual. I go from being very stressed and home sick, thinking I haven’t got the right stuff with me, if I’ve had a long flight I get bloated and uncomfortable and miserable, getting anxiety if things aren’t going the way I imagined and acting like a mental case with over planning, to being over excited, horny, energetic, loving and overly happy.

He knows what he likes and prefers we stick to that to avoid potential disappointment elsewhere, he gets jet lagged quite badly, doesn’t do well with heat and must have air con and/or a fan in the room or there will be hell to pay, but he also is more chilled out and happy when we are away.

Travelling together is also a very telling time for your relationship. Holidays should be the most exciting, romantic times you have together. You’re away from work, the norm, you’ve spent loads of money to visit this beautiful place, it should be unforgettable (in the best way). I know SO many couples who break up after going away together, they find out little things that drive them insane and they end up fighting the entire trip. Ask yourself, if your relationship can’t handle a short time in each others pockets, will it survive in the long run?

Come back from your trips stronger, enjoy every minute, appreciate your partners quirks, understand what they need and how they might feel away from home, appreciate that they might enjoy different things from you, compromise, PICK YOUR BATTLES (the most important) like are you REALLLLLY going to fight over what the correct pronunciation of a cocktail is? Do you REALLLLLY care enough to ruin an evening in paradise with your love. He thinks the H is silent, you are sure it’s not. Who cares.

Hotel Sex Is The Best Sex:

Probably my FAVOURITE part of travelling is having sex in different places. I LOVE hotel sex, there is something so exciting about staying in a hotel. It has a naughtiness to it I don’t feel at home in my bed, that I set alarms for 6am in, that the dogs sleep in, that constantly has my dirty laundry thrown on it.

Hotel rooms were MADE for good sex. Be loud, fuck on every single surface, fuck at times you wouldn’t usually because you have to take the kids to school, walk the dogs, cook dinner.

I don’t know why, but I always have the best sex when we are on holiday. Maybe because it’s just he and I together, with no worries, maybe it’s excitement, not thinking about working or the long list of impending chores. Just enjoying each other to the fullest, in this gigantic Super King bed with fresh white sheets and a balcony overlooking the sea....

Oh god, take me away.