To Only You, This is Left

So, I crawled inside myself, while the spiteful words you spit, hit my chest, ears, and heart. Knowing you are talking out the side of your neck about my character and wit. Cease and desist with your reckless ramblings. I take that for insecurity and dependence, see, I’m just going to tell how it is. Traveling down this road, time has come to tell the tale of how we met and fell for each other while standing. I was busy chasing knowledge, wisdom, another reality when you crossed my path. I was pursing what God had for me and so were you. I looked around and we became inseparable friends. Taking trips, enjoying ministry, learning more about one another each minute we invest.

You rescued me from a snovid-like breakdown on a shimmery white Saturday morning. I knew sitting in your Lexus that we had locked into each other, soulfully, on another level. I had to stop and subtract my surprise initially; I didn't want to feel anything for you. You were my good friend. The one i could laugh with about nothing. a confindant i could joke with everywhere. You told me what you wanted in a wife, adding kindly that I fit your qualifications. I didn't know if you were a playboy, so i didn't want to entrust anyone with my heart. Your gentleness made me surrender and change my mind. Your thoughtfulness touched me. Additionally, I thought we were two souls finding each other through a scrabble of thoughts, plays on words, and phrases. Through our shared experiences, our paths intertwinned like lusicous vines.

Slowly, we started engaging in heavy conversations, navigating emotions, speaking deeply about life in sessions that spanned deep into the night. I thought we were digging each other like fine Mississippi rain-covered mud pies, living inside one another, like a love thirsty dream filling with love, that led to a white wedding at its end, but you went left on me and that wasn’t right.

You made me relate to you, relax to your way, and released me to be free in your presence, only to go left, after her. So, month faded into year, soon I grabbed your ear. I needed to hear the sound of the path you envisioned between us. However, your verbal life support sank me like a house built on sand. In the fog of your lacking embrace, I hit my head on your broken promises. You never gave a reason. But she gave me plenty of reason. That girl droned on, she was coming back for Christmas, blah, blah! You two were madly in love, yeah, yeah! Sadly, I hadn't seen it in you, first. I was suddenly uninvited to your love and she now was in pursuit of it. After two hours of hearing how much she loved, needed, and wanted Ya, baby, I asked for my freedom from this verbal prison! Pretending tiredness, I needed to cry. I never slept a wink the night I found out, from someone else, "You & Me" died...

I buried the thought of "we" in Mississippi, as I stared at your picture, lying in your old bed. As midnight raindrops hit the window, my tears hit the pillow. That's why I left the Mitten that early morning smoker, to discover what being loyal to me looked like. 'Cause my Love is precious like choclate diamonds, red rubies, black pearls, even. My Love is precious like the seconds on an old pocket, watch before they float away. I've learned to choose precious Me! I exist no longer in your alternate universe. My world, devoid of you, rotates in liberty, as I write this. Looking out to the horizon of life, I catch a new breeze in the land I dropped into.

To Only You, this is Left.

To Me, this is Right!