Things Society Needs to Normalize

Since the pandemic began, a lot has changed. And still, a lot hasn't. These past couple of years have left me feeling as though society is moving backwards - that things that used to be normal are becoming more and more controversial, that society is becoming more backwards than it ever was before. People spend more time indoors, more time browsing the Internet: and in turn, they spend more time spewing hate. People will always find things to be angry about. Things to adamantly refuse to understand. People will say they miss when things were normal, while dejectedly resigning themselves to the fact that normal is gone.

20 Things Society Needs to Normalize

1. Opposite-sex friendships.

Please stop assuming that a boy is only friends with a girl because he likes her, or vice versa. Stop assuming that boys and girls can't be friends without someone catching feelings. Normalize platonic relationships between different sexes that don't lead to feelings or romance.

2. Makeup on men.

They're allowed to look good too, you know.

3. Breastfeeding in public.

The whole purpose of breasts, anyway, is to feed a baby. Why else would they would milk? People are uncomfortable by the sight of public breastfeeding for one reason: sexualization. Breasts are seen as sexual when they're really not, and babies need to eat.

4. LGBTQ+ parents.

In 2022, same-sex parents are still seen as taboo, despite such relationships becoming much more mainstream. Why should a loving parent be denied because of nothing more than their sexuality? It's bigoted to say a same-sex couple can't adopt a child because they're the same sex. Normalize queer parents, trans parents, and everything in between.

5. Body hair on women.

We all have it, folks! If we didn't need it, it wouldn't grow!

6. Polyamory.

When it comes to polyamory, there are so many judgments and misconceptions: such as that polyamorous people are more likely to cheat, or that they can't really love more than one person at a time. I mean, I'm a serial monogamist, but I can't pretend I've never considered opening my relationship to other people. When done correctly, polyamory can be a wonderful way to connect emotionally and/or physically with people - and it's not about cheating at all.

7. Nudity.

Every body is beautiful. Nudity is about so much more than sex, even though it's seen as sexual.

8. Powerful women/skinny men.

Women in positions of power are common, but these women aren't treated the same way as men in positions of power. Normalize women being both physically and emotionally powerful. In the same way, normalize men being less physical and more emotional, or less muscular and more skinny, or any other combination that isn't stereotypically masculine. After all, there's a lot of different ways to be a woman, and a lot of different ways to be a man.

9. Trans youth.

Overall, almost 2% of youth identify as transgender.* If this doesn't seem like a lot, consider the total population of the world. 2% of the total world population, 8,000,000,000, is 160,000,000. One hundred sixty million youth globally identify as transgender.** Still think it's a low number?

10. Stretch marks/acne/blemishes.

Women are supposed to look like Instagram models in order to be beautiful. Those woman you see on the covers of magazines? They're not real. I mean, the women themselves are real, but their bodies are grossly edited, because it isn't attractive to have any sort of flaw. When I was pregnant with my son, my hips grew. I've had acne and scars since puberty, and I've long given up on trying to cover it all. Acne, especially, needs to be normalized! How many Instagram models do you see that actively let their acne show on social media? (Quick answer: almost none).

11. Sex work.

Sex work is work.

There are no "undignified" jobs. Only undignified wages.

12. Asexuality.

I can't tell you the number of times I've seen an "Asexual" character in media get cured by meeting their soulmate, or just being dismissed entirely. I can't tell you how many people I've come across who think Sex is a must-have in every single romantic relationship - that if you don't have sex, your relationship won't last, or you're doing something wrong. Normalize asexuality. There's more to life than sex, and there's more to intimacy than just getting naked and bumping uglies. You know what I mean?

Fun fact: Around 2% of LGBTQ+ adults identify as asexual, and that doesn't even include queer youth!*** This is about the same percentage of people with red hair, or people with green eyes, and I've never heard anyone say that red-haired, green-eyed people don't exist.

13. Consent.

The importance of consent needs to be taught from childhood. (Yes, even children have body autonomy)!

14. Menstruation/bodily functions.

I've gotten a lot of mixed opinions on this one, but I remain committed to the opinion that every single person should be educated in menstrual health. Too many adults with vaginas have no idea of how their vaginas work, and it's too taboo a topic to teach in schools, and so we're left to the workings of the internet, or fellow people with vaginas. When I got my first period, I was twelve years old and I cried to my mother, assuming I was dying, as I'd never once been told anything about menstruation. My mother reacted not by comforting me, but by handing me a pad and saying nothing more about the matter.

It's also important for people with penises to be taught menstrual health, even if it's just the basics. (You know: periods are normal and not gross, so don't be a bitch if your girlfriend is on hers).

15. Platonic emotional relationships between men.

I don't know why this still needs to be said. Normalize men telling their friends they love them. Normalize men being vulnerable and emotional with one another. We no longer stan toxic masculinity. Men have feelings, too, and deserve to feel safe and heard.

16. Disabilities.

The world is not made for the disabled, despite there being more than one billion of them globally. **** The word disabled is not a bad word, and it isn't a curse. Many people, when it comes to interabled couples, will praise the able-bodied partner for being with their disabled counterpart, as if it's a sacrifice, as if the disabled are nothing more than burdens taking a toll on society. Normalize disabilities of all kinds, and different ways of life. Never assume a disabled individual is incompetent, or a nuisance, or stupid. Definitely never demand to know what's wrong with them - it's none of your business, and it's rude.

17. Seeking help for mental health.

Men, especially, are chastised for having weaknesses. But it doesn't make you weak to be human. Actually, it makes you quite strong. Normalize seeking help for mental health, no matter who you are. Self-care isn't selfish. But ableism is.

18. Virginity.

Virginity is a social construct that has absolutely no meaning whatsoever. Also, if it doesn't affect you, it's none of your business; like anything else, this seems to be a hard concept for some people to understand.

19. Fat/plus-sized bodies.

Sorry we can't all be supermodels, Karen. Fatphobia is disgusting, and every body is beautiful.

20. Women not having children.

I know several women who have made the choice to remain childfree, despite getting married. All of these women have been questioned or pestered, and for what? A personal choice? A woman does not exist to be a man's personal baby-machine, or to raise a family, or to be a homemaker. A woman exists to do whatever she damn well pleases. Childfree women need to be not only normalized, but represented, because there's so much more to life than children, and there's some people who just would not make good parents.

Likewise, there are several things which society has normalized, which really shouldn't be normalized. Things that, honestly, affect most of us in some way or another. Here are eight things that shouldn't be accepted as normal.

1. Jokes about mental health/sexuality.

Does this really need an explanation?

2. Married couples disliking each other.

I'm not sure if this is a trend or a real thing, but I seem to see a lot on social about toxic heterosexual marriages. It seems normal and funny to poke fun at spouses who hate each other, and clearly shouldn't be married. In addition to promoting toxic relationships, this normalizes being miserable in a marriage, and nobody deserves that. Why would you marry someone you can't stand?

3. Coming to work sick.

The problem with coming to work sick is that it's all but impossible to support yourself when you don't. The way companies pay their employees makes it pretty much impossible to get by without working forty hour weeks, and even then, you could be pushing it. If you take a sick day, you're missing out on eight hours of work, for example, which takes a serious toll on your pay cheque. Stop glorifying coming to work sick. It's not healthy or normal.

4. Wine mom culture.

So, let me get this straight. It's not okay, under any circumstance, for us to smoke herbs, but Debbie over here can show up to pick up her kid with a bottle of wine in her hand. You're not quirky, Debbie. You're an alcoholic. Get help.

5. Taking pictures of strangers without their knowledge.

And posting them online. Creepy, and a total invasion of privacy.

6. Having relationships with toxic family members.

Growing up, I was always told to respect my elders. But what if they don't deserve my respect? Look, it doesn't matter if someone is family. If they're bad for your mental health and/or your safety, they don't deserve a spot in your life.

7. Treating retail workers badly.

I think everyone should have to work in retail. I was a grocery store cashier for three years. I was a fast-food worker for three months. Retail workers are people, trying to make a living just like you, who deserve respect despite your opinion on their occupation. Do you think we wanted to end up here, in a dead-end job, working for minimum wage under abusive employers? Would you want to work here? No? Then be a decent human, and treat everybody with respect.

8. Kids beauty pageants.

Need I see more? The whole thing is for the parents, more than anything, living vicariously through their poor children. Kids beauty pageants are nothing more than sexualizing children for entertainment, and that's pretty gross.

*https://www.thetrevorproject.org/research-briefs/data-on-transgender-youth/

** https://www.calculator.net/percent-calculator.html

***https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/sm-asexuals-press-release/

****https://www.inclusivecitymaker.com/disabled-people-in-the-world-in-2021-facts-and-figures/