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by orangepeachapples about a year ago in literature
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Love Always Exists.

Back in the day, I was just a typical kid, doing my thing, as a young part African, Spanish, and English woman! But I was judged at basically all-angles because of this, sadly! But, not really sad, because I have always been upright in heart and that's never stopped me from choosing to be a kind human, and shooting to always do that, no matter how hard it is or how right I "think" I am. No matter the crap social media screams at my mind day and night, no matter what. I mean, shoot, the internet barely existed 25 years ago! Honestly, just writing that last sentence down brings into my mind a different perspective about life. Why do me and all my friends spend our lives on the internet doing nothing much of productivity? Why don't we use the internet like as an outlet for good deeds, start organizations and fight for what we say we actually believe in? That sounds WAY better to me than 6 hours of wasting my life away scrolling or watching random videos, which is why I I now have a set amount of time, daily, that I allow myself to "distract" and do whatever I feel like online. That is why I LOVE the idea behind this challenge, it engaged my mind to see the other side of mindlessness: acts of love/good deeds.

I love how people have the free ability to make rational and creative decisions, I think its amazing honestly. "We know that consciousness exists not through experiments but through our immediate awareness of our feelings and experiences." - Philip Goff, Durham University. I think of that quote in regards to the ability of having consciousness to make the choice to perform a good deed, however your mind thinks a good deed should be. Since we all have a different experience and life perspective, I take it VERY seriously when it comes to the birds-eye view one could have of my life, like a reality TV show with the ability to read my thoughts. And I try to take my life seriously, like James Bond when he is on a mission, totally FOCUSED, DETERMINED, and ready to GO!

Forget a typewriter, or working by hand, or indoor gardening, we can get absolutely ANYTHING we want in the blink of an eye, basically, like a McDonald's Chicken (ha ha) That is actually messed up if ya ask me, what happened to good old fashioned hard work? Good old fashioned pie baking for your neighbor kind of living? Give me some sugar neighbor kind of living? Now its just, "make me a sandwich lady," at the McDonald's drive through. Like for example, pretending that we are having productive lives while really mainly just engaging our instant gratification sensors scrolling through the internet. I could be spending that time making the world a better place, like the plot for this story is supposed to be about, GOOD DEEDS!

Good deeds come in ALL packages, shapes, sizes, and colors. I have honestly spent most of my day to day life after going through a Treatment Program for heavy drug addiction back when I was 20 to encourage, inspire, and motivate people in a way I have believed each individual could understand. My life shifted into this thinking after I got my head screwed back on right, received therapy where I could express myself, and become a better version of ME. I wish all people had someone to confide in, and receive whatever inspiration they need to continue forward. Even in my WORK environments, I have for some odd reason felt the need and urgency to speak words, that I believe, are thoughtful and true to the point. But I was never that way before I had an epiphany (credit to Epiphany by NF & Futuristic).

Here is a list of some of the amazing good deeds I have encountered over the years!

My first big accomplishment as a sober young lady started with when I wrote 40ish encouraging letters to all the people I was in Treatment with, by sitting by the mailboxes and reading their names (since I tend to forget those), and one by one writing away. That was honestly one of the funnest and soul-satisfying experiences I have ever had. It felt like the blink of an eye, sitting on that lounger and thinking intently into what I observed each individual needed to hear, or motivation. I used my birds-eye view to discern what each person needed to hear, and it has started me on a journey to letter writing. I will actually sit in my comfy chair and quiet space, while brainstorming ways to help people. So far I have come up with ideas like this that are beneficial and engaging, as well as buying and handcrafting gifts for people at random times. The number of people who have came up to me after receiving a letter from me, with tears welt up in their eyes, and most tell me about the same thing: "Handcrafting a letter for me was the LAST thing I expected someone to do, but you have motivated me by it!"

What better feeling than that, knowing you, like, ACTUALLY helped someone!

I gave my new, unworn shirt from Target, that I bought that day while shopping in Treatment on a shopping trip, to my enemy because I felt the urgency to show love to my enemy, because I did not see her the same way she saw me, and I HATE conflict.

"Hey, Jackie?"

Jackie looked over at me with a disgusted look on her face.

"Hey I just wanted to give you this."

She looked completely, 100% absolutely, no doubt at all, utterly SHOCKED.

I walked away, and that was that. From that point forward, the tension eased in Treatment.

My brother, the amazing brother whom has loved me when no one loved me, and one of the only people to never let me down, has some SERIOUS good deeds behind his belt. My amazing brother is an outstanding citizen, and I am taking this time to show you why. This man has gave carpet to decorate an entire house of my friends at last notice for FREE, and he never even introduced himself to them! He literally just dropped off a whole small houses worth of carpet without giving anyone a forewarning! The result of this selfless act: My friend stopped partying suddenly and realized all of the selfish mistakes he had made. He couldn't stop saying how, "nobody has ever just GIVEN him anything for free, and how he grew up in a highly abusive/manipulative environment, and this was the coolest thing someone had done for him."

This same brother also has painted full churches for free, babysat others kids for free, worked for free, and has always given away absolutely anything you can think of, including giving time to people, with no expectations and at no charge. We once lived in a beautiful house on the river together, and he met a family of 4 at a gas station. They all became friends quickly, and then mutually decided they would move into the entire separate part of the house that had been built a while back. And they did, but not after this happened. My brother spent around 58 hours COMPLETELY gutting out the place, and decorating it. But it was not an easy task: Rain, snow, and weather had destroyed most of it for several months years back after a family moved out, and no one lived anywhere in that house, while traveling for several months. And windows that could be considered more or less "hidden," had been accidentally left open! Everything needed to be remodeled. Anyhow. So, the task was daunting, to say the very least. And of course you know that he did not ask for any reimbursement fees, he just did what he is good at: sharing. By the way, he taught me how to share, literally, by taking me to the Dollar Tree and buying me things over the years. "Sharing is caring," is what he says, "whatever sharing means to you." He has risked his life to actually save me from my ridiculous self, by driving thousand of miles to wherever his sad, confused, hurt, but still hopeful, drug addicted little sis was. At times my mind and my heart couldn't connect, and I was at the mercy of whatever random situation I found myself in, as is life, sometimes. He was the glue that kept this person writing to you here alive, until Treatment, no doubt at all. Its humans like this that I believe give us all something to be inspired by to do better, because if someone barely getting by in life with almost nothing to their name, and not much physical assets by ANY means, can do that, then why can't I strive for the most? Someone to CHOOSE to have a good heart despite the chaos, to choose to share with the world he was born into, as if everyone is some sort of huge giant family. The list could go on for a long time.

So nowadays I choose to share whatever I can, like my parents taught me, with whomever I can. I'm the type of person to tell you something nice about yourself in a very meek manner when I see you in the grocery store and you seem like an approachable human to me. I have seen, I am not kidding, like HUNDREDS of women's faces almost melt into a melting pot of comfort when I tell them things like, "You are so beautiful," as I walk by. I don't know why telling a stranger something nice does this, but its fun to see peoples faces light up based on YOUR very own actions. I believe life experience affects a person, always, so I had another person in my family do acts of goodness like this as well: my other brother. Him and his wife had allowed my wild self to live with them when I was the worst of the worst, the crook on the street, the hooker on the street corner you didn't like, and the insecure girl who always wanted to be something, and someone, that SHE believed in. THESE are the kind of people I have been surrounded by throughout the worst of the worst times in my life, and they never ONCE, not for a SECOND, left me alone or without my personal needs.

Something I love to do is to go to the Dollar Tree and spend however much money on items I think people need or want, and I go throughout my day and give them away whenever I feel that need to in my heart, and nothing could make me happier! Except for conversing with people like we all did before COVID-19 hit us. The one thing I know for sure is this: COVID-19 sucks, but if it weren't for COVID-19, I am not sure I would be as close to my inner circle of family/friends that I am today, since no one could leave their house. Laughing, but not really! I really hope your day is full of good deeds, good times, and good alone time during these hard times! Have an awesome day everyone.


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