The Pain That Comes With the Ability

Many people don’t really know me. I know that is something you might hear all the time, but I mean it. I’m not even really seen at work, and by this I mean I work at a processing office, all day long I work at a computer. Most of my employees don’t even know that I am even there. I am constantly ignored. I guess it makes it easier to keep my secret. I’m not like most people or even anyone. I have never met someone who can do what I do or even heard of it. I prefer to keep to myself and stay back and watch the people around me go through life. The drama, mystery, journeys, and stories. Each one of them different.

As far as I can remember I have always been different. Having this ability to see what kind of person someone is. You might think that well that isn’t an ability that is just your gut telling you. Mine is a little different than that. Everybody from the day they are born are given a number. Throughout one’s life the number will change and differ through their choices. The number signifies how dangerous the person is to others or maybe even just to themselves. For instance, everyone receives one when they are born because they are innocent and haven’t done anything wrong. The older one gets it might change to a two or three when they get into fights at school. Police officers and soldiers are ranked higher at six to eight depending on their ranking of work. Someone who is ranking nine or ten are the most dangerous people I have ever met. Psychopaths and murders belong to those numbers.

Its hard always knowing what’s going to happen because you know that they are dangerous or not. The thought of meeting someone that ranked a ten has always scared me. What am I supposed to do in that situation? Go to the police and tell them someone is dangerous even when they haven’t done anything yet? How am I supposed to explain that one? Right there is no good way that will end. Maybe I will never meet one in my lifetime. I hope that is true and it continues to go that way.

I always thought that way till a couple of weeks ago and my life was changed forever. It was a cloudy gloomy day and I was late for work. Which is something that rarely ever happens. It was just an overall strange and off day for me. Like I knew something bad was going to happen. I just continue on my regular routine like always. Getting some peppermint tea from the kitchen area at the office and going to my work station. I logged on and waited for my computer to load when I noticed a new face had walked into the office with a little girl holding his hand. A two above the little girl’s head and a ten above the man’s head. I wasn’t sure what to do at that point in time. I was just shocked at what was happening and that I encountered someone that had a ten ranking. Looking back at my computer so that it wouldn’t be weird that I was staring at them. I thought to myself trying to figure out what to do and what would be the best move. I moved quickly and opened my candy drawer and picked out a blueberry dumdum and a small piece of Laffy Taffy.

I sat there for a few seconds and then closed the drawer feeling my feet and legs weighed down as my heart started to pump. Standing up I slowly walked over to the two as they stood by one of the cubicles like they didn’t seem like they knew what they were doing. I slowly bent down in front of the little girl and introduced myself as Emma and handed the little girl the candy asking her name. She only replied to me in a soft voice that her name was Destiny. She didn’t answer anything else so I slowly stood up taking a shaky breath in order to try talking to the man. I only asked him if he needed help with something. He seemed to be nice but a little paranoid as he asked if I could help process the little girls papers. I replied as yes and led them both to my station as the little girl opened the sucker and started to eat it. When I sat down and pulled up the program on my computer.

I looked up at the man and asked him for more information, really nervous and careful about the words that I say. I didn’t want to say something wrong and have him do something unexpected and hurt other people. So the next thing I asked was what papers needed to be processed or fixed and the next thing out of his mouth sent chills down my back. He said that they needed to delete his daughter's death certificate. It was like his daughter died and he found another one to put in her spot as his daughter. I slowly took a breath looking down at my keyboard trying not to seem frazzled by the statement. Once I was able to look up I asked the man if I could take the girl to the play area while we talked about the paperwork. The expression that crossed his face seemed to me that he didn’t like the idea but the words that came out were yes. So I took the girl’s hand and brought her across the office into another room away from the man so he couldn’t see. Crouching down so that I was eye level with the girl I had to ask her one question and needed an answer. I was terrified that this girl was in danger as any person would be. Is this man your father? At first, she said that it was out of fear that she would get into trouble for saying no. So I asked her again saying that it would be okay and that she was safe. That is when she told me the truth hugging me tightly and telling me that she didn’t want to go out there again or to have to go with him again.

It was a few minutes later that I walked out and back to my office where the man still sat. I looked at him and tried to give him comforting words that she is playing with some dolls. When I returned to my seat once again I tried to get some more information from him about his daughter and I came to the conclusion that some things weren’t adding up. He said that his wife and him were having some problems and that she filed that her daughter was dead in order to get back at him. Which wasn’t true even though she hadn’t seen her daughter for years. Trying to get any more information than that was difficult. I was trying my best to stay safe but at the same time trying to get pieces of the truth. Coming to the conclusion that he was definitely mentally unstable. I wasn’t sure what to do at that point in time. Do I try to keep him here as long as I can? How are you supposed to even know what to do at that point in time? I took my time with the paperwork even making a copy of the original so that if the police needed it I had it in order to show them the evidence of the changes.

The first thought that came to mind was to get help from a manager or another coworker, but how is that going to help much. So I went with it anyway and that was probably my worst mistake. The next moment that I walked back into my station the man was sitting there in the chair with a pool of blood underneath him. I screamed not able to hold it back knowing that he had slit his wrists. I slid down the wall to the ground hearing multiple footsteps running towards me as they were muffled in the background. I didn’t know. I had no idea that he was a danger to himself. I thought he was only a danger to the girl. I should have known. I should have seen that coming. I didn’t move from that spot for hours as the body was moved out and the little girl came and sat by me. Not even speaking a word. I was just shocked and upset at myself for not even seeing it coming.

To this day we don’t know who the girl belongs to. She seems to be an orphan that the man took in to replace his daughter. Destiny would tell me stories about the man’s daughter and that he wanted her to be just like that. Even though she knew that she couldn’t be that. She has been living with me since that day and I have not even returned to work. I know that I went from a nobody to everyone knowing who I am because of something that happened within an hour of work.

I have and will never forget that day. I can’t help everyone and I can’t keep everyone safe. If I could give this ability away I would because It is hard constantly knowing whether I am in danger or I am safe. What if someone was a two one second and randomly an eight another. At this moment in time, I wouldn’t be surprised if it could happen. I just know now that it isn’t always the other person that you have to worry about sometimes it is the person themselves. Recovery is hard for both Destiny and I but I know that we will get there in the end and work towards a better life together. Staying away from the dangerous people in life in order to protect ourselves. Some day that will change but for now, it’s for the better. To this day it haunts me and it forever will but at least I was able to learn a lesson from it and keep it in mind when dealing with other people.