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The Last Night

I don't think I can do this anymore

By KiwiPublished 3 years ago 3 min read

As the house falls quiet around me, I lay awake and ponder if this is it. Am I ready to give up? I lie in wait for a long while before slowly rising from my bed. I quietly sneak out of the room, and creep past the dogs, towards the back door. They lift their heads for just a moment before returning to their slumber. I take a long breath before the door creaks open and I slip outside. For a moment, I stare into the dark forest, pondering over whether I should change my mind once again. How far will I go this time? Should I turn around now? Do I have what it takes to be this person, to do this thing? I steady my breath.

I begin to walk towards the dark trees, accepting their gnarling invitation. As I walk through these trees, I try to reminisce about the days from my childhood that I spent here alone. The forest looks different now; it has aged with me, looking as sad and lonely as I. The trees have grown in all directions, with branches outstretched, reaching for one another. It looks as if the trees are longing for a touch; a hug, maybe, from one another, but they're all just too far away from each other to feel.

I continue on, feeling the dirt and moss beneath my bare feet. It's soft, like a plush carpet. I try to ignore the occasional scurry of a small insect across my toes. I begin to imagine that I am walking in the clouds. All around me is peaceful and white. I am alone, but I am at peace. The clouds feel like home, like a blanket on the couch waiting for you to crawl beneath it, like the most peaceful thing you can imagine.

The clouds slowly fade away as I remember where I am. I'm unaware of how long I've been walking in this trance-like state. I begin to feel uncomfortable in the quiet. It calls to me an unhomely welcome, bellowing and shouting my name. How can something shout so quietly? It is but a loud whisper, a quiet roar. The noise resonates in my head as I walk deeper into the forest, further than I've ever been. The childhood familiarity ended long ago, and I've lost all sense of direction. I continue to make my way through the trees, listening to the words of the forest, and feeling my way into it's welcoming arms.

Suddenly, I am startled by a loud noise. I trip and, in an instant, am left lying on the ground with a pain in my head and warmth blanketing my face. I open my eyes but I cannot see anything. I carefully lift my head and bring my hand up to wipe my face. The moss and small stones around me slowly come into view as my eyes clear. I turn over to see the fallen tree that I'd fallen over. I lie on my back and look up into the trees. My gaze is met by the glowing eyes of a small barn owl. It's eyes pierce into my own.

The owl stares into me. I try to speak, but the words don't escape my mouth. I think the words instead, and will the creature to understand me.

You scared me. Why are you staring at me?

I look away for a moment to think, but I can feel the owl's eyes still piercing into me. I try to imagine that this creature can understand me. My eyes meet the owl again.

Can you understand me?

The owl takes off from the tree in a hurry. I try to follow the creature with my eyes, but the trees are too dark, and the pain in my head is too great. I lie my head back down and close my eyes. I stay still for a moment before feeling a sudden pressure on my chest. I open my eyes to find the owl sitting inches from my face, staring into me once again. As I stare back at the owl, I begin to calm. The pain in my head subsides. I do not feel cold, or afraid, or anxious. The weight of the owl seems to lighten to nothing, but the creature does not move. In this moment, I feel only peace. The owl continues to stare into me as I slowly close my eyes.

Welcome home.

literature

About the Creator

Kiwi

Hi! I'm 23 years old. I was born in California, grew up in New York, and am currently living in Florida. I love to write about a lot of things. I write a lot of poetry. I just want to share what I've got to say!

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    KiwiWritten by Kiwi

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