The Language of Love Abroad

Through my travels I haven't always been in a relationship, in fact it's been very rare. When you are always on the go it can be very difficult for people to want to stick it out or to keep it healthy. What's the next best thing? Well, Tinder. Yup the beloved app for finding your next match, date or hookup. To say it is a serious place to look for love is a little diluted, but, it is not impossible to really strike a connection with someone face to face.

Having lived in 3 different countries the past 4 years, it became a very simple and easy way to connect with people. Get a date and you know enjoy life outside of sports. The tricky part is where you are located and your knowledge of the area.

In the USA the advantage is being able to speak English and let that charming personality come shining through. Now, when the language changes and the societies views on what is dating changes the adjustment period is needed.

In Sweden, North Americans are looked at as being a little bit old fashioned when it comes to dating. We are much more subtle about our intentions and like to ease into a more intimate scenario with someone. Swedes are more reserved as people and earning trust falls into keeping your word and just being a decent human. Once this is accomplished it can be a little easier to navigate the waters. But a warning, your expectations and theirs could be drastically different based on how they respond to you and the seriousness of it all. Rarely is it long lasting, especially if you don't plan to stay in the same spot forever. Overall, Swedes are very open to what they want but may not verbalize this, it is implicit. Be specific and be direct with your partner. It can be easy to get that first date but it never hurts to find out what they are thinking as well. The perk about being a non native is seeing places that people value. They will always take you to their favourite spots, sites and introduce you to cuisine and customs for you to become more acquainted with. At the worst, you've made a good friend and at best your match. Space, respect and understanding that people have lives is a piece I think North Americans miss. We chat and talk constantly and do things with such a speed that unless they hail from Stockholm life is a little slower and the expectations to get a text back will be limited. Use snapchat, seems to be the common mode, easy simple and you have a chance to see each other quickly during a busy day.

Denmark is similar to Sweden in many ways except for the giant international student community that resides from Sjælland (Copenhagen area), Fyn (Odense) and Jylland (Aarhus & Aalborg). What has been the most interesting portion is how outgoing people are. In part to the small size of the country anand having a large international hub, people tend to be more willing to meet others different then themselves. The language barrier isn't as strong as English is spoken by many people and they will help with your Danish if you really want. It is interesting when looking at Denmark as most people when asked out via Tinder are very keen to meet as quickly as they can. Don't be surprised if school is a reason they can't meet. Academics are taken very seriously and respecting that leads to much more enjoyable meets. The last thing you want is to meet someone who isn't really in the room or looks so stressed out they could burst at the seems. The Danes do find that North Americans are more straight forward about our thoughts and feelings. The do like it and they will open up if you take the lead. This is a double edge sword if you are head over heels too quickly. They tend to take things slower and really attempt to build a relationship they want time and space to do it. One thing that isn't uncommon to hear is long term relationships that carried over from high school until their second or third year of university. So you might be handling someone who is very new to the dating seen.

As horrible as tinder can be it has led to a lot of really cool and interesting places. The people I've met and the friends I've made through their introductions have been so much fun. It might be superficial but we make those choices every day when we see people. Lead with good intentions and a good heart that yields great opportunities to take a step closer to your person. You never know where they could be in the world.