The first of many

“It’s not as scary as I thought it would be” Allison announced

“What’s that?” My mind was elsewhere looking at the stars above us.

She repeated, “I said it’s not as scary as I thought it would be. I honestly thought I would be terrified. But it’s actually quite soothing and calm if I’m going to be completely honest. That’s something I never thought I’d say”

I laughed, “Yeah” I took in a deep breath and finished, “I’ve done this quite a few times now so it’s sort of lost the novelty on me, but my first time doing it I didn’t think it was going to be as peaceful as this”

“No?” She asked

“No, I remember crying quietly for a a long time. I guess I was expecting the worst. I was scared out of my mind with every sound, every shadow in the moonlight. But after a while the sound of silence was overwhelming, if that really is a thing. It washed over the night and made me feel at ease, calm, so at rest”

She laughed, “That is a fine choice of words for the situation we find ourselves in”

I smiled and looked over at her for the first time since was laid down on the lawn of the cemetery, “I didn’t mean it like that. Maybe I’m funnier than I realize”

“You’ve cracked a few comments over the past few hours that make me think that you could have been a comedian” Allison responded

“Me!? A comedian? No way. Up onstage with people listening to everything I say. With a thousand sets of eyes judging everything I say and do” I started giggling to myself

“What’s so funny?” she asked

With tears in my eyes, I blurted out “I’d die before I got up on stage”

She started laughing with me and we laid there for a time and forgot the situation, and for half a moment we forgot where we were.

Silence fell over us slowly and we both started staring at the stars above us, Allison asked, “My teacher told me that there’s a million, billion stars in the sky. We can only see a handful of them on of the ones we can see we think that only a hundred or so could support life like ours on earth” She paused and reached for my hand, it felt cold and lifeless, like I’m sure mine did to her. “Do you think that they could be looking up at us like we are at them?”

“That’s all news to me. My teachers never taught me any of that. Or maybe they did and I wasn’t interested at the time. But it is nice to think but”

She nodded and then asked “April. What did they put on your headstone?”

I turned my head around and read aloud although I didn’t need to because I have read it a thousand times or more “April Livingston, Loving daughter and sister, taken too soon from this world January 8, 1955 – May 15, 1970”

“That’s really nice” She said

I smiled, “Thank you. What does yours say?”

Allison turned around and read aloud “Mine says rest in peace our angle Allison Jane Smith, Forever young 2004-2020”

“That’s beautiful”

She turned back and wiped a tear from her eyes, “It’s still not real to me”

“It takes time”

“How long did it take you to come to terms with it?”

I sighed, “I’m not going to lie to you. But I will let you know when it happens”

She laughed and wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned back to face the stars again, “It really is a lovely night tonight” She said

“To the first of many more” I smiled

She smiled back, “To the first of many more”