The Craft That Made Me

Since as far back as I can remember, yarn has been a part of my life. I remember getting pulled out of Kindergarten to learn how to finger crochet a long chain. I remember the woman who taught me had a stroke earlier on, so half her face was paralyzed. She had a piece of metal in her eyelid to help her blink. I was told the finger crocheting was to help keep me focused in class. I loved it and gladly taught the skill to anyone who wanted to learn. I still am astounded that humans came up with ways to turn one string into many, and the many woven together to form ropes and yarn. I can't imagine being the person who figured how to make a cloth out of a single thread.

Then when I was a budding preteen around the age of 12, I asked my grandmother to teach me how to knit because in my mind knitting was a woman's duty. I only found out after that my dad knew how to knit, but by then it was a little too late. Once I learned, I practiced until my fingers were blistered. I couldn't get to the point of bleeding no matter how much I worked, but I got some pretty gnarly calluses on the sides of my fingers. By the end, I could even knit without looking, I had become that proficient.

What I loved most about any craft involving yarn was that most uses could be applicable to others. A hand knit scarf, a blanket, even a plush toy can be made out of a few skeins of yarn and can be gifted to bring great joy for very little effort. Even better, its a quiet hobby, so individuals like me could take part without feeling completely out of place or having to awkwardly figure out what to talk about. Since I'd been knitting for so long, I could even offer to help newbies which always made me feel good. Sharing my knowledge felt empowering, like I was important for a little while.

One of my absolute favorite uses for yarn is a Random Acts Of Kindness winter challenge. Said challenge, for lack of a better word, is to knit as many scarves as possible, and leave them randomly with notes saying that they're not lost and meant for anyone who needs them. I spent some time on making scarves and blankets for other people. Kind acts made me feel warm and bright inside. Whether of not there is an actual reward doesn't matter to me, its a Pavlovian response.

Then, in 2018 I was struck down with a very aggressive form of Multiple Sclerosis, which included the deterioration of muscle and ataxia. I quickly lost my dexterity, and all of my fine motor skills. Not long thereafter I was also diagnosed with Lupus of the brain. Treatments failed until the IVIG which has proven successful so far. Currently I am at the point of re-learning every fine-motor skill I lost.

Until I regain what I lost (by my own fault) I can teach others the joy of several crafts. I even taught myself how to weave, although even before I got sick weaving took more patience than I had. Teaching is the one thing I can do no matter how hard my body tries to give in to this insidious disease.

Yarn has played a massive role in my life from the beginning to now, and I'm sure it will continue to be a major part. When I can't do, I teach.