The Caged Bird Dreams

All my life I've always heard the saying “money doesn't buy happiness”. Money can’t buy you love, good friends or bring back your pet parrot “Liberty” who flew directly into the ceiling fan while Ma was cleaning the cage one day. No, money sure can’t do that... I just know that not having money hasn't made anyone happy either. See I was 26 at the time, single, working a dead end job, like my Mama and her mama and her mama before that. They did whatever they had to do to survive. But for me surviving felt like dying. Like something was slowly pulling at me, screaming at me on the inside to get out! It was warning me if I stayed there I’d be just like my mama and her mama and her ma...well you get the idea. And maybe that's what Liberty felt. If she stayed in that cage for even a day longer, she’d never truly be happy. Or... I could be projecting my own feelings around money and freedom while grieving for a dead bird in the weirdest way possible. But, be that as it may. I needed a change, a life change.

What does a woman in her mid 20’s in today's age do when she needs to figure out her life? She gets on youtube. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not going to find any life changing answers from a youtuber. They’re all too busy posting bleak and contrived content about things that nobody really benefits from. Like video games, movie reviews and makeup tutorials… yuck. But there had to be something on there, in the millions of videos someone else had to be feeling or at least gone through what I’m going through at this very moment. And there it was! “The top ten twerking moments of 2016”. No I’m kidding, the one just below it, “Attracting Money and Happiness”. I told you youtube had everything. I’m not going to lie, I was definitely weary about finding answers for my life this way. But who else was I going to ask? I’d never known anyone who was rich or famous. Or even anyone that loved their job for that matter. It was like everyone just did what they had to do to live. Having dreams of being rich and happy was unrealistic in my family. Like what kind of world do we live in where happiness isn't realistic?

But here it was, the answer I’d been looking for. I quickly clicked on the video and this guy pops on screen... Whoa he was beautiful. I’d describe him as a mix of Leonardo DiCaprio, Forest Whitaker and a Asian version of John Krasinski…hubba hubba. He immediately got into the topic. Usually you’d have to skip a few minutes to get to the point of the video, but he was right on it. He said the universe is always listening, conspiring and plotting ways to advance you on your path. That we all came into this life to be happy. He talked about how money could be used to create our freedom and provide for us to live better and happier lives. I needed to know more. At the end of the video he mentioned that he did one on one training. His one on one sessions are $199.99. Like damn, wasn’t my like and subscribe enough to warrant a quick session? And besides my whole reason for wanting to talk to him was because I need more money. Should I do it? Should I take the chance to see if this will work for me? I mean what else do I have to lose. It’s either this or go back to being completely miserable for the rest of my life.

I hovered my computer mouse over the confirm purchase button. I sat there sunk in my chair quietly for a moment. Only the slight hum from the ceiling fan in the other room could be heard. And all I could think of was how difficult it was cleaning all of Liberty's feathers. The thought snapped me back into reality, I clicked the purchase button, cue dramatic sting music.

My one on one session with the hot esoteric youtube guru was scheduled for a week later. The session was only an hour, but I feel like I got a lot out of it. He suggested that I buy a notebook and write down everything that I want. He said physically writing it down in present tense made it feel more real. And that feeling was one of the most important parts of attracting what you want. He said I could write anything, as long as I believed that it was possible to have. So of course I write down that I receive $20,000 dollars, that I’m in a happy and healthy relationship and that I’m free to go wherever I please. After a few days I hadn't really noticed a difference in my daily life. I was still going to the job I hated, I mean I had to make back that $199.99, but I felt better about things. I mean if this worked for the Guru then it could work for me. Later that night I got an email from the Guru asking if I would join him for a spiritual retreat. I immediately thought, wow maybe there was some romantic tension going on during that session, but it turned out its a group getaway to Sedona and that the trip is all expense paid. I arrived early at the airport to checkin. I quickly noticed that the airline was called “Liberty Flights”, how appropriate. I ended up sitting in coach, I guess that’s why it was all expense paid. On the plane ride I decided to write in my little black notebook about what I hoped to experience once I got to Sedona. Are you writing a script? Asked my inquisitive seat neighbor. No, it’s my manifestation/wish book...I say reluctantly. Oh that’s interesting... the man said. My eyes stayed focused on my notebook, as I forcefully continued to write. How many wishes of yours have come true so far? The man asks. I sigh and softly and reply.. Just one, this trip...I say. What were your other wishes? The man asks. To get $20,000 dollars and to be in a happy relationship. He exclaims..Wow, well I can’t help you with the relationship, I’m still trying to figure that one out myself, the man jokingly says. I push out a small nervous laugh still completely fixed into my little black notebook. But... I can give you the 20K if you let me film your feet for a movie I’m working on. I slowly lift my head out of my notebook to catch the man's gaze with mine. My jaw dropped when I realized the inquisitive man I’ve been sitting next to this entire plane ride was no other than Quentin Tarantino himself. And that’s how my $199.99 one on one session brought me happiness.