The Black Book Adventure

I rubbed my thumb over my name, Dan Gray, on my train ticket. A flutter of excitement raced through me. Europe, a place I had dreamt of backpacking across since I could read, write, and google. I had made a backpacking-across-Europe list at nine and remade it so many times I’ve lost count. I wanted to see it all. Unfortunately, I couldn’t. Despite saving for this trip since my first job at twelve, it still didn’t add up to much. I had to shrink that dream list to the highlight reels. But I didn’t care, I was here! My stomach cinched at that thought. I. Was. Here.

The automatic train message announced our next destinations, mine being one of the last. I leaned back into my seat, trying to get comfortable. I rested my head against the window and watched all the places I had imagined visiting my entire life fly past. The jetlag and the steady rhythm of the train made my eyes heavy; I allowed myself to drift off..

I awoke to the motion of the train turning and when I opened my eyes the sun was shining in them. The bright light hurt so I quickly closed them again. I stretched in my seat, my foot hitting something across from me. My eyes shot open; I had kicked an elderly man. I apologized and hurriedly pulled my legs back as I sat up. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Not a problem, son.” He had a kind, inviting face, with snow white hair framing it.

"I'm Dan." I stretched my hand out, he reached over and shook it with a firm grasp.

"I'm Ben Gray."

I smiled to myself, Ben tilted his head, looking curious, "My last name is Gray too." I said.

"Well, I'll be." He chuckled. "Let me guess, American?"

"Canadian, actually. Where are you from, England?"

"I was, but I’ve called France home for quite some time now."

Ben started to tell me about his travels around Europe, and the train ride flew by. The announcer came over the intercom informing us that we were an hour away from Lyon. Ben asked me what I was planning on doing in Europe, so for the last hour I told him my story.

“So, my trip has become Europe's greatest hits list. But that doesn’t matter, I’m finally here and I couldn’t be more excited. It’s like they say, life is about the journey, not the destination.”

Ben nodded and turned to the window. Even though he was looking outside, I could tell he wasn’t seeing anything I could see. He took a deep breath and turned back to me with a smile.

“Your very right, son." The train brakes made a screeching sound as we came to a halt. The sign on the station read Lyon Part-Dieu. "Well, this is my stop. Thank you for keeping me company during the journey.” Ben patted his knees then stood with a sigh.

“It’s been a pleasure, a real highlight of my trip so far!”

He laughed "I hope you will get to see and do things that are a bigger highlight than an old man telling stories! Enjoy the rest of your adventure son.” He stepped into the aisle. I stood and shook his hand, feeling at a loss for words. He just nodded and walked toward the doors.

I sat back down and looked at the spot he had just left. I noticed the black book Ben had been holding on the seat. I grabbed the book and opened it up. As I did a credit card landed in my lap. I flipped to where it had come from and there was a note saying "Live like you're dying." My heart jumped as I flew from my seat to the door Ben had just gone through. On the platform I saw a woman rushing to meet him. I called his name and he turned.

"You left your notebook and card!" I waved the book in the air.

"It's yours now." he said.

"I can't accept this!"

"Of course you can! Go live your dream, son." He made a shooing motion at me.

I went to run to him but the door buzzer went off and the doors started to shut. I rushed back to my window as the train started to move. There I could see Ben sending me off with one more wave. I smiled and waved back.

I sat down in shock, this was a dream, right? I looked down at the black book in my hands. I flipped to the back of the book again.

“Dan,

Live like you’re dying

Ben Gray”

My hands started to shake. Could this really be happening?

I thumbed through the other pages, pen and ink drawings filling them. Ben was a talented artist. At the bottom of every drawing there was the name of the town and the country. An idea started to come to me, and before I had even finished the thought I knew how I was going to finish this trip. I was going to use Ben’s black book as my tour guide across Europe.

I opened the front of the book and there was the “In case of loss, please return to:” underneath there were a few old addresses crossed out and a newer address in Lyon with a phone number. In the section “As a reward:$” Ben had written “Eternal gratitude!” I felt a smile tug at my lips. I had only known Ben for a few hours, but just in those two words I could feel him. On the other side there was a newer note that read “This book now belongs to Dan Grey.” I shook my head, reminded again of this incredible gift a complete stranger had given me.

I took out my cell and called the number Ben had left. It rang several times, I started to worry that I might not be able to reach him. Then I heard a graveled “Hello?”

“Hi…” I said, “Is… is this Ben?” My hands had suddenly gotten damp; I rubbed my hand on my knee as I waited for a response.

“I was wondering when you would call.” His voice was a little more clear.

“I really appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think I can accept this.” I plucked at the threads on my jeans.

“Of course you can, and don’t worry about the cost of things. It’s a prepaid visa with $20,000 on it. Plenty there for you to have a good ol’ time.”

I felt my heart literally skip a beat. “I really can’t accept this.” I insisted.

“Listen to me, son. I have seen Europe and the best she has to offer. You have to live that dream trip you have always planned, you never know when you will get the chance again. Take it from someone who knows, one day these memories will mean the world to you.”

We were both silent for a minute.

“Ben, I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you”

“Enough of that, I didn’t do this to be repaid. Just have fun. Call me if you have any questions.” I said I would call him as I traveled, we said our goodbyes and hung up.

So, I could never repay Ben, but maybe I could pay his kindness forward.

As I tackled my black book adventure, I looked for travelers that were like me in each place I stopped. I helped them get into museums and restaurants that were on their bucket lists, and shared hostel rooms with some. I learned their stories and shared some of mine. I built connections with these strangers and I found it enriched my trip in a way I could never have expected.

After helping people I would go to the spot that Ben had drawn for each destination by myself. I would sit there and try to see what Ben had seen. Sometimes I would have to spend all day searching for them, but it was always worth it.

I would call Ben once I found the spots. He would tell me stories of his adventures, where he met his wife, where they had taken their children on holidays, and where he had lost his family. We would share a laugh, and sometimes a tear of sorrow. I looked forward to our talks, getting to know him better. I knew Ben wouldn’t want to hear it, but the more I talked with him, the more he, and his life stories, had become an important part of my life.

My trip had finally brought me back around to the Lyon Part-Dieu station. I had looked forward to this destination the most. The last page in Ben’s book had a picture of a door with purple vines all around it. The only picture with colour on it, the door seemed to be inviting me in. And if I knew Ben at all after all this time, I knew where this door led to. I looked up the return address in the front of the book in my phone and followed the directions.

I took my time, walking down these historical streets, imagining what Ben saw when he walked down them. The sandstone buildings pulled me to a time long forgotten. I could see why Ben would live here, it was a beautiful city.

Finally, I arrived at the door covered in purple vines..

“You have arrived at your destination.” My phone echoed what I already knew.

My pulse began to race, I knocked on the door and tried to shake out my nerves.

The woman that had been at the train station those many months ago opened the door. She was dressed in scrubs and looked very stern, but when she recognized me her eyes grew wide, then they got wet and I felt my heart sink.

“Is he…” I couldn’t say the words that were clawing at my throat.

“No,” she whispered, “Not yet. Come in, he will be happy to see you.” I followed her through the house, to the back yard.

Ben was sitting outside in the warm autumn weather with a blanket on his lap. His face was turned to the sun, his eyes closed.

“Well, I finally made it to the last drawing.” Ben didn’t open his eyes but a smile stretched across his face and a tear slipped down his cheek. “Ben…” my voice cracked and he looked at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You would have felt guilty taking a dying man's money.”

“Yes I would have, I-”

“Don’t, please don’t.” He reached a shaky hand out to me. I took it and sat beside him. His grasp was a shadow of the strength he had when we first met. “I am all that is left of my family Dan. A man shouldn’t outlive his wife and children. It makes for a lonely existence. But these past few months I didn’t feel so lonely anymore.” His Adam's apple bobbed, and I could see he was holding back tears. I felt my own eyes sting. I squeezed his hand and cleared my throat.

“Ben, you said to ‘live like you’re dying’ because…” I trailed off.

“Because I am” he finished for me. I nodded.

“But I realized that life isn’t about living like you're dying. Those memories are empty. Life is about living it to the fullest with others around to enjoy it with you. All the people I’ve met, shared these experiences with, making lifelong friendships. That’s what it’s really about, sharing what we have been given with as many people as we can. You showed me that.” Ben smiled at me and I got the feeling that I learned the lesson he had hoped I would from his gift.

“Son, how about staying with an old man looking to share the days he’s got left.”

“You read my mind, Ben."