Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right, or really only interested in Mr. Right Now, for the moment, it goes without saying that dating as a gay, bi, or queer man can be pretty frustrating. Not only do gay men have to deal with all the same hurdles straight people do, but they’re often thrown a few extra curve balls for good measure.
I was 17 years old when I came out as aromantic. I came across the term on Tumblr, of course, and it was a huge eye-opener for me. If you do not know what aromantic is, it is a romantic orientation (not to be confused with sexual orientation) which means that I do not experience romantic attraction to people. I still love and have connections to people, but it is not the romantic one people experience with their significant other.
They say college is the time of your life that you should experiment, but for James, it was during his time in high school. After being in a relationship with a girl for over three years, it was time for James to be his true self. He remembers it like it was yesterday... his first attempt at dating a guy.
It has wildly been accepted that the LGBTQ+ community is a safe haven for those unique and different who don’t necessarily belong to the mundane categories of "normal" and "acceptable" within society. While very true, it does have its flaws; common in most groups, communities and societies differences can divide rather than combine and unfortunately the LGBTQ+ community isn’t exempt. Here are three things about the LGBTQ+ community everyone needs to know:
Published 7 months ago
This is for the people out there who have negative thoughts about the LGBT community. There are people in this world who think being with the same sex makes you disgusting or people who just follow what the Bible says (nothing wrong with that, everyone has their own beliefs). I believe in God just like everyone else and wait for it... I’m a lesbian. Let me start by saying this: if you don’t agree with homosexuality THAT IS FINE. What IS NOT FINE is heterosexuals trying to make us come off as bad people. Secondly, WE ARE NOT PEDOPHILES—majority of the world don’t like pedophiles; neither do we. Now are there gay pedophiles? Yes of fucking course, just like there are straight pedophiles; that does not make every heterosexual a pedophile so please stop the whole adding a P to the LGBT because NO IT IS NOT RIGHT. All we (the LGBT) want is to be either accepted or left alone. If we are not harassing you, you all should not harass us or call out our name because you do not agree with our lifestyle. Do not try to force your beliefs down our throats. Most of us believe/d in God until you “Christians” had so much input on things that do not concern you. Personally I don’t believe gay people will be sent to hell for being gay. Now if you just so happen to be a gay murderer, a gay pedo, a gay rapist, a gay thief, then yes you may have a one way ticket to hell.
Junior year was only the start of a new suffering. The effects of suffering were still finding their way. Many people don't think mental health issues can compare to physical health. They can effect the body in different ways that just aren't fair. Whether we're hurting in our heads or the rest of our bodies, we can all agree that the pain is real.
Sometimes I think to myself, "How in the world could I have possibly thought that I was straight?" But when I was a kid, you were either straight or gay. Then bisexuality became a norm in middle school. No one talked about being any form of asexuality because we simply weren't aware. So, since I'm heteroromantic, I assumed I was heterosexual.
Every day, my emotions own me. There is not a day when I am allowed to control them. Many people have told me that I don't make an effort, that I want to be miserable. What they don't realize is that people like me make great efforts and try as hard as we can. Unfortunately, I am part of the fraction of that group of people that doesn't succeed. I can't stop my emotions from running rapid, nor keep them from colliding into each other. My emotions don't only change with the environment. They can change anytime without a specific reason. I can't control them, but I can hide them for a while. It takes a lot of brain power for me to keep them hidden. However, it is still my mind, which means these emotions can become dangerous, to myself mostly.
Coming to terms with the fact that you’re gay can be hard enough, but for most of us, coming out of the closet can be even harder. (Yes, even in 2019.) To begin with, not everyone in a gay person’s life turns out to be as supportive as you’d otherwise hope. Plus, there’s a learning curve to dating as an openly gay man that can be hard to master.