I did not believe in "love at first sight." I did not think it necessary to put so much into a relationship, and to literally give everything to another individual who could potentially take it for granted. I did not want to experience feeling broken after giving and giving. So I went through my younger years guarded.
Here is what LGBT+ stands for, plus some gender terms you might want to be familiar with.
"This is something I've wanted to say for a long time....I'm gay"
So I'm bisexual, which means I like both guys and girls. I live in a Christian household and I'm closeted. My name is Ciara and this is my story.
I have a weird relationship with my sexuality. I identify to the world as "bisexual." I like all genders and sexes. I stick by the definition of bisexuality meaning "two or more genders." I identify to myself and to the people who understand as "queer"—a lot of people don’t know that "queer" is a sexuality though.
Recently my friend shared an article she found online titled “The Danger of Allowing Straight Cis Men into LGBTQ Spaces.” It focused on a specific Hollywood nightclub that was being overrun by straight men. It gave an example of a man who made aggressive sexual advances to two lesbians. He would not leave them alone when they asked. When they agreed to let him take them home because they were too drunk to drive, he sexually assaulted one of them.
It starts by wondering; wondering what it would be like to actually be with a girl. Not as in a relationship or anything, but more in a sexual interest. Would it be different? Would it be better because she knows what she’s doing? Is scissoring really a thing?
Everyone has their struggles, and every relationship has its problems, but same sex relationships have the added pressure of homophobia, which can frighten part of our community and hold them back from being themselves. These “straight” guys dating guys are a slight issue in the way that when an openly gay guy falls hard for them, it can cause a lot of pain. I’m sure it’s the same for lesbian women in the same situation.
"But you've dated boys!" they said.
Hello there? If you're reading this, you should know or do know about this "Coming Out." For all my LGBTQ+ members that are reading this and need advice, you've clicked on the right thing. Now I have a story to tell about a girl who came out as a lesbian. For some of you, you can relate, and to others, you can't because for you it wasn't all peaches and cream for you, I'm all the same bandwagon as you.
From as long as I can remember, I have been writing. Be it short stories, attempts at full blown novels, lyrics or prose, my pen has always found its way to flowing my inner emotions out on to paper. This last year, however, has been the most poignant when it comes to the effect that writing has had on my life.