Pick up artistry tricks have gotten a pretty horrible name over the course of the past couple of decades. To a point, it's because sites like TheRedPill and the current wave of toxic masculinity sites advocating emotional abuse have become somewhat inextricably linked with the PUA scene. It's also linked with guys who are literally stewing in their own insecurity - not a good look, really.
As I sit at my desk, sipping on a soy chai tea latte and preparing to write, I find myself thinking about all the people who believe the term feminism should be replaced with a word that's less divisive. Frankly, whichever word we use to define the belief that women should not be oppressed is going to be fraught with negative connotations, put there by people seeking to undermine the movement's progress and by "feminists" who misrepresent the point of the movement by saying crazy things like "all sex is rape." Which led me to thinking about another term I do believe should be removed from our vernacular: The Opposite Sex. We should replace it with “The Other Sex.” The former denotes a warring situation; we oppose each other. The latter denotes an egalitarian relation; it says we are peers, not foes.
Long distance relationship, or LDR, is a bitch. But, she's a bitch that you would want to be friends with. I've been in an 8-year relationship that ended because of long distance, or so I thought. It's not something I regret though, because LDR taught me a lot of things. Some of it I probably already knew, but had to re-learn in a harder way. Here's some of it:
There's a major misnomer that going on a date means that you will have to pay a small fortune for a restaurant bill, a movie, and maybe an Uber ride home. Though it's true that date nights can cost upward of $200, the fact is that people who are broke can also date without looking cheap.
Dating is hard; dating when depressed is even harder. Depression isn't just feeling down in the dumps or blue; it's an entire distortion of one's perspective of reality. What might bring some joy becomes disaster. Fun becomes a chore. Waking up takes too much energy, but laying in bed becomes imprisonment.
Let's just face it - certain skills a person can have are sexy, impressive, and just plain cool. Certain manly skills, too, can be a downright turn-on for certain women.
There are certain couples that make everyone wonder why they are together. These couples fight, act cold towards one another, or keep struggling with infidelity issues - or worse. These are couples who just shouldn't be together.
When I began eating a vegetarian diet in 2001, my live-in boyfriend at the time did not. We had both come upon information about how much healthier it was to substitute vegetable proteins for meat, the cruelty involved in raising and butchering animals for food, and the environmental impact of our taste for animal flesh. But while I was moved to act, he was content to not change, saying “I just like to eat meat too much to stop”. I found it a huge turn-off, and this was one of a few reasons why he became an ex-boyfriend. To me, it was another example of how rigid he was, his inability to personally evolve.
So, regardless of the title we all know that love is far from simple.
I smile today because about a month ago, I was not. I had returned from visiting my sister in Dallas. I had a wonderful time with her, hubby and my fuzzy Maltese nephews. I come back to the home I share with my boyfriend to find out that we have been evicted. Talk about buzzkill. It was just like life was like "You feel too good. Deal with this!"
Love has turned me into a “shopping-bag." But I'm not the only one. I've learned that many of the innocent-looking tote bags I see sprouting squash racquets and office files are likely to contain a toothbrush and change of clothes as well. I'm not talking about the post-adolescent version of a "slumber party" in which single people routinely prepare for a date or a night on the town by carrying camouflaged shaving kits or contraceptive gadgetry–"just in case." I'm talking about a pattern of living in which love and "liberation" conspire to make extracurricular commuting a daily routine.