Suspension

It began with a pair of scissors and a finger tip detail knife. I meticulously cut out hundreds of flowers from wallpaper sample books. But we'll get to that in a minute. Flashback to 2008. In my studio hung a very large ink drawing of a flower called Love-Lies-Bleeding (Amaranthus caudatus). It was on rice paper that I stained with tea and infused with beeswax. The drawing included words and thoughts about my experiences as a new mother. At the time I was filled with doubt about my ability to take care of my little girl who was born in 2008. Her needs were so urgent and desperate that at times I was overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of responsibility that now lay before me. Using red button thread, I stitched the outline of the flower along with words expressing my fears and anxiety. Being able to express myself afforded me an opportunity to regain the much-needed balance to face the challenges of motherhood. I am so grateful for ways in which the creative process helped me navigate those troubling waters. This mixed media drawing remained hanging on my studio wall for months and months. Somehow it didn't feel finished to me and yet I didn't know how to resolve it. Fast forward several years. My sweet daughter was five years old and thriving. Her laughter and wonder with the world filled my heart with desire to continue along the path my creative process was leading me. I applied for and was awarded a summer residency at the McColl Center for Art and Innovation in Charlotte, NC in 2013. I brought this drawing with me to my temporary studio determined to figure out a way to complete the piece. Here is where we pick back up with the scissors and detail knife. As I mentioned, I cut out hundreds of flowers from pages of wallpaper samples. The meditative process of cutting brought me joy and happiness which, looking back, is funny to me that the repetitive act of cutting would make me so happy! Along with wallpaper flowers I also cut out Audubon images of birds from an old calendar. With a pile of cut-outs on my work table, I began thinking about the possibilities for resolving Love-Lies-Bleeding. Using scissors, I cut the large flower out of the tea-stained beeswax-infused rice paper. The cut-out was glued onto a 36" x 84" piece of cotton rag paper to which I applied abstract "blossoms" of india ink. I selected roughly 50 wallpaper flower cut-outs along with the bird cut-outs and glued them onto the large cotton paper. I continued applying india ink until I was satisfied with the result which was a large mixed media piece. I felt like the initial drawing of Love-Lies-Bleeding had finally been resolved so I titled it Suspension. At the time I was creating this piece I was listening to a lot of music by a rock band named Muse. I was drawn to the way they built tension within the notes and then resolved them with harmonious chords. My work with this piece paralleled what I was hearing in the music. During that summer residency I created several more mixed media pieces using the wallpaper cut-outs. Those months were glorious because I was able to focus on the joy of the creative process. Now fast forward another three years. A non-profit organization called ArtPop Street Gallery put out a call to artists in the Charlotte-Metro area. If selected, the artist's work would be displayed on a billboard for an entire year! I submitted a detail of the bottom portion of Suspension. I was over-joyed when I learned that my work, along with 20 other local artists, had been selected for a billboard. Seeing my work on that scale filled my heart with happiness and pride. Imagine driving through the city and looking up to see your work enlarged to 14' x 48'! Love-Lies-Bleeding had come a long way! A year later when the billboard retired, I took the 14' x 48' piece of billboard vinyl home to my studio. In my driveway I spread out the vinyl as best I could because my driveway wasn't wide enough. No matter. I crawled across the vinyl cutting out various sizes of rectangles according to a pattern I designed. These pieces were then sewn together to create cross-body bags and totes that I sold on Etsy. Each bag was a one-of-a-kind creation in that no two bags were alike. Once I sold out of my bags, I turned to fashion design. An opportunity presented itself to participate in a fashion show called EcoFAB Trash Couture. The design challenge was to use recycled and upcycled materials to create a garment to be modeled on a runway. I used billboard vinyl as my material for creating a suit that was inspired by the iconic Chanel suit. The jacket's sleeves and collar were made out of nylon window screens. I cut out hundreds of flower shapes that I individually attached to the screen mesh using silver twist ties. I also made a hat and a clutch purse to complete the outfit. Cutting and sewing billboard material is easier than one would imagine because the vinyl is actually relatively thin and flexible. Nonetheless I needed a sharp pair of scissors to make clean cuts. The fashion show was held in an arts center in Columbia, SC. To see my work transformed into a living, 3-dimensional object was so exciting. Cutting, collaging, and sewing continue to be my passions today. My daughter is going on 14 now. Her needs now have taken on new shapes which bring new challenges. Through the creative process I am able to find a calm sense of wonder at the changes both she and I are going through. Looking back I am amazed at the journey my scissors and detail knife took me on: From an unresolved ink drawing on rice paper to a runway. I wouldn't have been able to do it without well-designed tools and adventurous mind.