SPORT OF ROMANCE

Sport of Romance

Hi I am a hopeless romantic. I know when guys hear that they cringe, but when women hear that their hearts are opened just a bit until action is shown. I wrote this book, because I wanted to leave behind instructions to my boys. Instructions on how to treat their women in their lives, and to cherish them. Well like most guys, we hate long introductions right so lets get into it shall we.

I became a romantic because I hate seeing women batter, bruised, and even worse, see their hearts being played with. I know, I know women play games to, but I’m not talking about that. This is a self examination book to really open a man’s eyes to a new way of reaching a woman on an emotional level. I have 2 boys that I want to teach how to view a woman, approach a woman, find a woman, and treat a woman. So to my boys, I love you guys, and cherish your women, be better than me in everyway.

I love you both even if I not around.

Love DAD.

A level where the words I Love You makes the woman want to rip off your clothes and get off the internet with other guys, because she has everything at home. Well not quite rip off her clothes, but make her start to desire only you. So why don’t we start shall we?

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Chapter 1 UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

The best way to understand a woman is to ask her directly, that’s it. Us men feel like we need to know everything but we don’t. We don’t need to fix everything, we don’t even need to have tons of money, a big cock, or even the best looks. We just need to listen…. PERIOD. Why guess the problem, when she could just tell you. If there is one thing you need to understand it is this; “Women don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. Reread that last sentence 5 times and really think about it.

If you met her on the street and told her how smart you are, and how caring you are, and how generous you are, you just lost her interest. So try this, when you talk to her ask her about her outfit, where she got it, about her day, was it good or bad. Then ask her about what she likes not what you want to talk about, because believe me, nothing makes a woman run away faster than an arrogant self centered man who brags, but don’t listen to her. Ok if you don’t believe me here is your first challenge. Ready?

CHALLENGE:

Walk up to the next woman and ask, “How is your day, anything good or bad,” then just shut up, and see what happens. I don’t care if she is a supermodel or a not so attractive woman. Just have a conversation about her. Because a woman’s mind is like chess.

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Chapter 2 A Woman’s Mind is Like Chess

A woman’s mind is truly like chess. They have a million things going on in their minds that they need to share with you. Let’s take 1 mornings routine ok?

Guy: We wake up take a shower get dressed and then plan our day while we eat and then go to work and deal with problems as they come.

Woman: She goes to bed worried about us if we are hungry, if we have clean clothes, if we have enough products like toilet paper, tooth paste, clean clothes, food to eat, and everything he needs to start his day. Then she gets up, showers and takes time to pretty herself to look beautiful. Then she gets dressed, wondering if the dress or clothes she is wearing makes her look unattractive. Then she cooks food or prepares food for him and if she has kids as well (making a list of items that run out to go grocery shopping). Next she gets e everyone out the door and then heads to work with having 4 times as many things to think about before she even starts work.

Guys, when was the last time she was sick and you got up cleaned, cooked, and fed her and then did the grocery shopping, worried about how she is feeling and then after everything is done, just spent time with her. Whether you cuddle or not, just existed as far as playing cards and communicating. Watching your favorite shows, or even rubbed her feet or back or whatever. When was the last time you tried to help ease her load of responsibilities? Not everyday, but every once in awhile, to give her mind a break.

All she wants is your time, attention, and appreciation and affection, just for her. Knowing that she can’t shut her mind off is a baby step to understanding her. So what can you do to lessen her mental load? Can you help clean, cook, take care of the kids, send her out with friends to have a break from everyday life? Can you even think about her during sex, by learning foreplay, more kissing and complimenting her body. Can you focus on satisfying her sexual needs first, because sex is mostly controlled by the guys orgasm, once he is done it’s over. Can you do everyday small things, like hold her from behind for 30 seconds without wanting anything? Can you tell her how wonderful the house looks? Can you tell her that even if she did gain weight, she is just as beautiful as ever? And simply, can you put the toilet seat down and restock the toilet paper?

It’s the little things that makes her chess mind relax and feels like she has a partner instead of another mouth to feed, and a child to care for.

Challenge:

Listen to a song from Celine Dione called: If I Were You

Then if you have a girlfriend, wife, or partner, walk up with no words stare in her eyes for 10 seconds in silence and tell her what you love about her the most and then hold her tight for a bit then go about your day. Just show appreciation for what she does. This goes a long way in showing her you care. What the song teaches us is that everything you have is not as important as having someone special to share it with. Having true partner who loves you unconditionally is EXTREMELY RARE.

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Chapter 3 A WOMAN LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY

Why does a woman love unconditionally? Because she understands that you are her world. Did you know even the most beautiful woman is vulnerable and insecure? It’s true, every human has a dream of finding that one person or soulmate. Women are more committed to finding that someone, but because of social media, it makes it that much harder. Social media only focuses on the outside of a woman, her looks and sex. Social media never shows you how to find what is important in a woman, her qualities. What qualities should matter more than looks? How about honesty, loyalty, patient, forgiving, nurturing, and unselfishness. There are many more but lets focus on lets say 3 of these qualities.

Honesty, would you want a woman who lies to you everyday because she is a 10? (we rate women by her looks 1 being ugly and 10 being gorgeous) I mean if you had bought a house with her, how long will your relationship last if you can’t trust her?

Patient, what if everything you are dealing with some traumatic past, like abuse, broken heart, or even trust issues and you meet this drop dead gorgeous woman and she gives you 24 hours to get over your problems or she is leaving. Would her perfect body be worth having a person who is impatient and don’t understand what you are going through?

Nurturing, that is a huge one. Ok guys when we get sick, and feel like we are on our death beds (hey don’t laugh ladies) would you want a gorgeous woman always running around with her friends, or would you want her to stay home with you and take care of you? So why do we do it to our women? Think about how you would feel.

Challenge:

Next time you like a woman, before you ever sleep with her or touch her body, have a conversation as to what she wants in a relationship. Hell, ask any woman right now, stop reading and call or text both the cutest lady you know and the not so attractive and ask what qualities does she have, and what qualities does she want in a man. You will be simply amazed at the answers you hear. Write them down and reread what they say. But if she starts listing features, like body, face, hair color, and what he has then leave her alone and let her grow up. Because if you truly love a person, qualities is what will make or break a relationship.

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Chapter 4 SHUT UP AND LISTEN

Women tell us men EXACTLY… what’s wrong with them. Lol they don’t sugar coat it… some do, but most tell you with words like, you don’t care, or I need help, or please don’t go, or even YOU NEVER LISTEN. That is her telling us to sit down shut up, and just make eye contact, face her with no devices in hand, and just let her talk. Damn guys, it’s just that easy. Now it may not be easy to listen to our own short comings, but believe me, if you can make it through her honesty then food will be better (if she can cook lol), her mood will be happier, and the sex will be that much more better than any lady you are sexting right now. Plus she already loves you and know your weaknesses.

To be truthful, she doesn’t want anyone to speak bad about you, so being upset means she loves you sooo very much. Don’t blow it with your ego guys, please just sit down and have undistracted conversations with her. If it hurts, don’t say anything, cool down and come back with a level head in a calm relaxed state of mind. Think about not the words she is using, but the underlined message. Doing this daily will open her heart, her generosity, and even her legs more. So if your sex life is suffering, doing this will help. If you don’t believe me, then you have nothing to lose except her. It’s that simple.

I heard this, and it is so true. We find things we are missing in our relationship in other people outside our relationship. So if she is not being heard by you, she will text another man who will listen, if she is not being touched by you, she will be touched by another man, and if she don’t feel loved by you, guess what… yup you will be replaced. It is said a man cheats because it’s fun and thrilling, a woman cheats to replace you. There is a ring of truth to it. So if she ever cheated on you, swallow your pride, and ask why. But let her feel open to express herself. Warning, never use her heart or words against her later. The hardest thing to do is be honest with the one that can hurt you the most. (YOU TO LADIES)

Challenge:

Text your mate, partner, or spouse and tell them you need to talk to them. Make sure the time you have will not be limited (lol that’s why women do it at 3 am… lol I hate it, but she know you got 3 hours before you have to go). Get 2 chairs and set them directly across from each other and set your devices in the other room on vibrate. Then start by telling them what you love and appreciate about them and then shut up, and let them talk and control the direction of the conversations, and listen no matter how bad it hurts. Once they are done, give them a hug and a kiss and apologize…. Don’t try to fix the problem, they just want to be heard. That is all, nothing more… nothing less. Just listen and acknowledge their feelings, no matter how ridiculous you may think it might be. One song by a singing group comes to mind. (LISTEN TO YOUR HEART sung by Roxette) Don’t use your heart, use your ears and hear what she is truly saying.

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Chapter 5 CREATIVE IDEAS

Now there are a lot more to cover on that subject of understanding a woman, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. So lets get started as to why you are here. What ideas could you do for your spouse or partner that is romantic? Hmmm… let me see ….. ok got it.

1st Idea

Pick 1 object in the house.. like lap blanket. Take it and place it in a place that it doesn’t belong. Middle of the floor, the shower, or even blocking the TV. Any place it would annoy your partner.

Now before you place it there, get your spouse or partner their favorite candy and 1 petal from her favorite flower. Then write these words.

Hi Love,

(Wrap this blanket around you tight right now don’t read further until you do this)

I know I am out of line and out of place at times just like this blanket, but all I want is to wrap my arms around you just like I this and keep you warm.

With just like with the candy, I want to fill you up with sweet things from your lips, to your heart, to your (gulp) body. As you enjoy this candy right now, just know how much I Love, or Care for you.

And with the flower petal. Even though it’s just one small piece of the puzzle, you are just like that piece. No matter how small or insignificant you feel, you are everything to me. So go to (the location of the rest of the flower that is hidden) and see that even though you had to hunt for the rest of this flower, you and I are a complete together.

Thank you for loving me and am sorry for all the times I hurt you, and will hurt you some more.

Love ….XOXO

Now this gesture will do more that just say I love you. It represents thoughts and actions, and also that you are thinking of them more then they realize.

So whatever you do, just share your heart in that moment. It may be scary, but it is worth it in the end.

2nd Idea

Give your partner the day off. Yes I know you work hard, and your partner may even be a stay at home person. But just because they are home all day doesn’t mean that they have the day off. For example:

1) Grocery shopping

2) Kids

3) House cleaning

4) Pets

5) Bills

6) Yard work

These are just a few, and there are a lot more inside just these categories here.

Challenge:

Give your partner or spouse a 24 hour period of relaxation. Let that person sleep in late, breakfast in bed. Get up and clean the house and get rid of kids or pets for the day to a family or friend. Cook 3 different meals that day (or order if you can’t cook). Then after everything is done, you can either do one of 2 things… leave the house and let her completely relax, or be her butler for the day. The goal is to help that person feel a day of rest. Take them to a night club until 2am. Whatever you do, show appreciation by you taking the responsibility off of your loved one for 1 whole day.

3rd Idea

Set up a day together and make it a scavenger hunt. “WHAT” you’re probably thinking. Yes you heard me right, have a fun day by finding out what she likes the most to do and set up a few clues for her to figure out.

Did you know that if you were to talk to 4 or 5 small business owners to help you set up a scavenger hunt they would gladly want to help you. Yes they can be your different points of contact that your partner has to find to get clues from. Believe me, it works well. Because it’s out of the ordinary and it tells your partner that you have been thinking about them a lot. It shows that you pay attention to the little things in their life that means a lot to them. But you have to plan a day when she has a clear schedule.

Lets say that she loves… hmmm wine right? You have 4 locations for her to find before she is sent to the wine or even brewery location. You start off at a hmmm…. local phone store, asking her to go have your phone checked out for you, or come with you. A note is passed to her directly stating that today is a fun day and this is the first clue. You leads her/ both to a hmmm… detailing shop where she gets the car washed as well as look around the place for 4 puzzle pieces that gives clues to the next location.

You next end up at a restaurant, where you eat a small snack or just dessert. As you do, there is a table in the back, or a private area where she has to do some sort of mind game to get the next clue. It can be a quick puzzle, answering questions about the business ‘s past, or even popping balloons that clues inside. Whatever the puzzle your partner likes do it. The you end up at a build the bear workshop, or a jewelry store where you buy a piece something that reminds her of that very day you set the scavenger hunt up.

As you buy that an envelope is handed over to your partner, and it is a hand written letter from you to them telling them how you feel about them, and what you appreciate about them. They receive a final clue, a label of their favorite wine, or menu from their favorite brewery or restraunt. Then you go to that place sit down, and let them talk about any and everything. But you have to be their with them in the moment. Focus on solely them.

Challenge:

Sit down with your partner and make eye contact and really focus on their eyes. You ask 1 question and then go silent and really listen to what they are saying. Don’t guess what they are saying. And as you hear them paraphrase or repeat back a summary of what they said. Now doing this will draw out problems they may have about you, but remember this day is about them. So don’t take anything personal right? Well when I did this it was hard as hell, but the crazy part about it is they just want to be heard, THAT’S IT… just to be heard. Where it’s good or bad, keep that eye contact, and hold hands if the mood needs it.

Now there are many, many other ideas, but we must move on to how to approach a new partner shall we? I’ll see you in the next chapter.

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Chapter 6 MEETING THAT NEW PERSON

Now to meet a new person seems to be the hardest thing to do in life right? Wrong. Let’s say you are getting a new job and you start that day around new people. What is the first thing after introductions happen that you want to know? As much as you can about them right, their past, their present, and even their future or dreams right? And you approach them with a handshake and introduction.

Why in the hell do guys walk up with some corny pick up lines to talk to a woman? I mean for real? Come on guys, women respond to: “Hi… my name is______. I saw you and just had to come over and say hi. Can I join you and get to know you a bit”. It is just this easy. Don’t over think it. Ok, so lets say that person is what you call out of your league, (a person who you think who is to beautiful to talk to you). How do you approach them? THE SAME EXACT WAY. That man/woman is human, and beauty is a curse people. So just treat them as if you are going to be working at the same place, talk to them about them and their day.

Remember this rule. “PEOPLE DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW, UNTIL THE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE”. Did you get that? Stop talking about you or what you have, or what you can do. They don’t care. Your job is to care about them first nothing more.

Now let’s say you have their attention, what next. Humor is the best thing you can share. Find out what makes them laugh. For example: I love Key & Peele. So I may ask if they have ever heard of them. If not, I pull out my phone and share a video of humor, then create an inside joke. When I use certain words that other person can get the underlining joke, they laugh or smile. My goal for you is to connect. And humor is one of the best tools to use.

Challenge:

Walk up to 3 strangers and just ask them how was their day. Then if they say fine, then ask them what does a fine day look like in their world? Then just close your mouth and let them talk. Make sure one of them are the most beautiful person you would ever meet. But do not have sex or using a person on your mind, it will show through. The key is to talk to a stranger about them. Use a basic introduction and then questions about them. If they feel uncomfortable, then move on to the next person.

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Chapter 7 DATING THAT NEW PERSON

So now what, you realize they like you and you like them. What to do next? Just enjoy the moments. Stop trying to impress what you already have, it will get old quick. You need to be fun, challenging, and loving all at the same time. How?

Fun: When you spend time with her, make it more about things to do together instead of what one person likes and the other person doesn’t. Well maybe sometimes, but most times find a common ground, and build on it. Like inside jokes, games, cooking together, and sometimes just cuddling. Lol if you like her enough, her legs will open automatically, don’t force it. Too many guys and girls think sex is love, sorry no it’s not. Sex is affection, love is emotions, remember that.

Challenging: When I say challenge, I mean in a fun humorous way. Lets say she likes pizza and you like chicken. She is ready to order and you steep up and jokingly say, “This is a yard bird zone only”. She looks at you and says, “HUH?” You continue; “If you want pizza, you can get a pizza that door and don’t let it hit you on the way out”. I know most of you are saying corny, but you just set up a playful banter as to what is better, chicken or pizza. So the next time she orders out, guess what, she will order pizza and you tickle the hell out of her, showing her how fun it is to challenge each other from time to time.

Loving: Being loving is all about, thinking of the other person. How their day is going? What is going on in their life that may be stressful? Or just tell that person what they do right for you. Keep it positive, because believe me, negativity is only a screen click away on the internet. Give her a reason to want to leave her phone or tablet off and run to your place. Only to just hang out with you. Play an online game together, so you to can communicate throughout the day. But in the end, it’s not what you have or who you are, it’s the bond and things in common that build up the relationship. Not sex, I repeat, not sex. You can get sex anywhere, but can you really build a bond that is only based on sex? That answer is for you to answer.

Challenge:

Invite her over, or you go over to her place and just sit for the first hour, and just talk. Play cards, cook, help clean, or even fix something, like her car. But leave all other distractions off. Distractions like TVs, tablets, phones, video games, music, even other people. If she has kids, do something with everyone. Just really get to enjoy your time dating and getting to know that wonderful woman you just met. Who knows, they may grow to be your soulmate, or perfect match. But you never know unless spend uninterrupted time. Again, communication is the key to unlocking her heart.

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Chapter 8 SEX COMES LATER

Your probably wondering why did I write a chapter about sex after dating? Well it’s because the first thing you should not do is be eager to open yourself up to a stranger. I get it, you have an attraction to that woman. But is she the one that will support you or break you? Does she want your heart, or just your body? Now I was a virgin when I got married. I was able to give a terrific gift to my wife. Some of you, men and women, had a situation out of your control. For that I am deeply sorry. But form this day forward, you control whom you allow into your intimate spot. You see, sex was the purpose for marriage and was viewed as a reward for enduring a lasting courtship. But sadly, it is viewed as a recreational past time.

So why wait until you are married, or even engaged? Well simply put, your female partner will truly treasure you and view you as a diamond. Or she will not have been worth your time and live her life care free. Either way, you win. The sex is not what’s truly important, it’s the connection. Let me explain it like this.

Sex: the act you do with your body that leads to pleasure only.

Making love: the act of having sex with your heart, mind, and body.

Lets go over what I mean. Sex can be had with anyone, anything, and even by yourself. It may feel good, but you are still left with a longing for a relationship. Even if you have sex with a partner, you will still want that connection. You would still be broken if that connection is not returned. You will feel used, defeated, ashamed, and disappointed in yourself. So why just settle for sex on the first night with a stranger, when you can get excited every time you see them, knowing that you are building a connection, instead of satisfying desires.

Making love is what you really want. When a person makes love, both partners look to satisfy the other, not just one person. So each time your hips thrust, you are thinking about her, being with her in that moment. Being present during sex looks like this. Eye contact shows that you love to watch her face, your hands are caressing every inch of her skin you could possibly touch, not just the breast and her sex tunnel. You have her lips to devour, her back to rub, her legs and arms. When you hold her during love making, she should feel secure. Especially if she worries about her body image. You should use your words and explain how beautiful she is regardless of her flaws. If she is overweight, missing a limb, burned, anorexic, or even flawless, love every inch of her body. Set her body on fire with your very touch.

Remember there are going to be times where you will focus on hers or your pleasure only. There will be times where you may even want to explore more of her body. But remember porn is not love, just animalistic sex. So if at all possible, learn what she likes and discuss what she likes. We guys are not mind readers if you want to know anything about her, JUST ASK.

Challenge:

Next time when you talk to your woman about sex. Ask her what she likes before sex, during sex, and especially after sex. You can become her best lover just asking and following through with her requests. Now us guys will always cum or orgasm. But try to focus on lasting long enough during sex, to blow her mind and have her wanting another night of sex with you. Try to touch her all over while making love to her. Kiss her with passion. Nibble her neck, and join in making those sexy love noises you like to hear from her. The key is to enjoy each others body while feeling that deep love for each other.

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Chapter 9 WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SEX

What happens after sex is sooo much more important. Do you spend time holding her if you’re not in a rush? Do you kiss her tenderly? Do you get up and help around the house. Do you take every opportunity to touch her when you pass her in the house? Do you flirt with her just like you used to do when you were dating. Do you compliment her on her body? Do you tell her how amazing she is in bed when she does… Whatever it is, you must be very specific of what she does in bed.

Did you know that during sex, most women try to enjoy sex, but have other things on her mind? Can you help put her mind at ease, by helping her with some of those things? This is where caring about your woman is put into action. Can you help her clean, do errands, or anything else she may have on her mind? Can you buy her a flower or a treat for being such a loving partner to you. Can you text her WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT HER?

This whole chapter is one big Challenge. Try to answer yes or no to these questions, and then work on at least one or two a month.

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Chapter 10 WHAT IS ROMANCE?

Definition of Romance: The meaning of romance is an emotional attachment between people. When the chemicals in your brain kick in and you feel an emotional high, exhilaration, and passion when you're with your partner and you want to do things to show your partner how much you love them or that you've been thinking of them.

What does a romance mean to a woman?

Romance is the feeling we chase in relationships. ... It's a powerful force that makes you feel connected to someone in a deeper way. It's the gestures, both big and small, that make you feel especially wooed and especially cherished by your partner. Romance is what takes your relationship past friendship

What does romance mean to man?

Showing that you care on special occasions. Like Anniversaries, Birthdays, or an accomplishment. So if we men really want to show her we are romantic. Try something everyday or even a couple of times a week. Go back and try some of the Challenges. Also show emotions to her from time to time, if your happy smile and dance with her. If you are hurting, cry in front of her. Let he console you, it will build a closer bond with her. If you mad, never hit her physically and belittle her with words, then wonder why she never initiates sex. Crazy thought huh?

In the end, patience is everything in a relationship. Patience with her flaws, patience with family, patience with her friends, and patience with sex. You know what would possibly help in bonding is share her favorite movie, books and games. Doing things together is another way romance develops.

Here are a few more things to try to be more romantic in the next chapter.

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Chapter 11 ROMANCE IN ACTION

Can you set up a date night with all electronics off.

Go roller skating,

Try an escape room

A bike tide

A drive when you can talk candid

Repairing the house

Cleaning the house

Can you give each other $5.00 then give each other 2 hours to buy as many gifts as you can. Create the sweetest messages you can and give them to your partner one after another. Don’t forget to take pictures to remember these gifts.

When you share moments like this it builds a bond that allows you two to share with other people how wonderful your partner is. It may have you already setting up the next date night. Time with your partner is the main purpose.

Challenge:

Think back to when you first met your partner. Where you anxious to talk to them again? Of course. You couldn’t wait to see them again. This is the goal of dating, or dating again. So spend time talking and sharing deep things instead of just how your day is going. Try to get those same feelings back, or just create new ones if your newly dating.

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Chapter 12 TEACH US MEN

Ok lets talk romance,

So Romance have many meanings. Sex, connection, emotional, and mental are just a few. So why do women gravitate to books or online for romance? Because they are not getting it at home. Don't get me wrong, the women love their men. But he is not filling her mind up with what she needs. Or even, she is not filling his mind up.

So how does one come to know what romance their partner needs? Having 2 open minds that are LOVINGLY HONEST. If you want him to spend more time with you, tell him, and leave at least 10 to 20 notes around the house, in the car, in the garage, in his email, on his phone. GET HIS ATTENTION.

We men are simple. We work, eat, sleep, and pro-create, that's it. When you tell us what you want, show us. When was the last time you taught your man how to focus solely on you? YES LADIES... we men have to be taught. So teach us how to hold you, explain how certain words make you feel loved. Share what his strong points are. And approach his weak points with caution, because it's hard to hear how we neglect your hand to hold, your waist when we cuddle, your head on our chest when you are hurting, and your body during sex. Help him show you how you want to be romanced.

And last thought for today peoples.

Challenge:

If you knew you had 1 week to live? How would you view that man or woman you love? Would you be upset, angry and disappointed because of his mistakes? Or would you focus on spending as much time as you can, even fighting sleep to spend your last precious few hours of life?

So think about how to teach us men to romance you like your books ladies, it will go a long way in your happiness in life. Just 1 thing a month… or how often you and your partner can find time to talk, learn and grow in love.

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Chapter 13 KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP INTERESTING

I have been asked, how does a person keep their relationship interesting? It is so easy, hell a caveman could do it. JUST SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HER. You may think, I spend time with her, but she is too busy with kids, work, community, and even games online. Hmmm games online 😂… lol is it a just a game? Then go with her, help her with the kids, help her in the community, join in her online game. Find out what she is into and be apart of that life with her.

You will be surprised to know, that she has another life online and that her friends there are her support group when we fail as men to listen to her. Also other men and women may see her worth that we take for granted. For example, do you ever worry about not having clean clothes, a clean house, food on the table, healthy kids, healthy pets, or even all the bills that get paid on time?

Challenge:

Spend a whole month in your spare time with her, and take notice of what she does. THIS IS NOT TO SPY ON HER, SO STOP THINKING YOU ARE TRYING TO BUST HER. But write down all of the wonderful things she does, and make little notes that say how much you appreciate the little things. Hell she even takes care of us big babies when we are sick. Do we do the same to her when she is not feeling well? Example: during her period, during holidays, during emotional times, even while she gets depressed. When she is depressed, that is when she needs you the most men.

DAMN I CAN’T EXPRESS THIS POINT ENOUGH. If your not the emotional kind, then guess what she will find what she is looking for somewhere else. So try to be emotional and care for her when she is weak in any way. Be her rock, support, provider, and protector of her heart.

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Chapter 14 QUANTITY vs QUALITY

We have all heard the saying: QUAILTY IS BETTER THAN QUANTITY. Well in a relationship, that has never been so true.

Lets see what those two mean first.

QUANTITY: A considerable number or amount of something.

QUALITY: General excellence of standard or level.

Ok to put this into perspective, we will use food and sex. The two staples of life men literally kill for.

If you ate to keep yourself alive, all you would need is fruits and vegetables. You could easily live on a quantity of that kind of food. But what happens when you add quality to food. Then you may have steak, cakes, alcohol, and even chocolate right. You don’t need those things to live, but it diffidently makes life more enjoyable.

Quantity is a lot of the basics in life.

Quality is a little of the finer things in life.

On another example is sex. She drops panties and let you mount her while she plays on her phone, or watches TV. How would you feel if you got that kind of sex everyday? To me, she is as good as you masturbating yourself. At least your mind can enjoy it right? Now what happens if you have sex once a week or even once a month, and she can’t get enough of your bodies being one. No devices, not TV, just focusing on being with you in that moment, so much that she orgasms. How would you feel then?

Well guys guess what, big cocks, don’t always mean orgasm. I may be dead wrong, but ladies orgasms are found in the mind and heart. You can play with theirs bodies all day long. Yes it may feel good, but she may have had sex with you for years and never orgasm. Sorry, but she may have faked it to save your ego. Then after you leave, she grabs her favorite book, or video and finishes what you started.

The truth is men, we want sex and don’t give her no emotion to her to build on and still want her to enjoy sex. That is not fair at all. How can you start the next time you become intimate? JUST ASK HER WHAT SHE NEEDS. Whatever you do, stop taking her advice personally as if it is an attack on your ego. Let her feel open to share with you what she needs. I’m sure that conversation is not easy for her either. But if you truly love her, take this talk and view it from her point of view. Remember she loves you so much to fake it and not hurt your feelings, so now it’s your turn. Just focus on her needs, emotionally and mentally. You will see a huge change in the QUALITY, in your sex life.

Quantity in sex is many times, but emotionally disconnected.

Quality in sex is a few times, but both of you are 100% involved in pleasing each other, and their needs, never just your own.

*****

Chapter 15 WOMEN NEED ROMANCE

Why do women need Romance?

Because of their genetic makeup yes, but most importantly, that is how they bond with a man. I’m sure you have seen women care and nurture another woman when she is hurting. But that most times is ok, but they want to have a man make the feel protected at times, beautiful, appreciated, and an equal at other times.

They want him to sweep her off of her feet. They want other women to drool over their man. They want a man to look at her as if no other woman on earth exists. Theirs nurturing friends tell them many things. But to hear certain words at a certain time from the man who holds her heart, is priceless.

Ok fellas, how do you feel when other guys pay attention to your woman, but she only has eyes for you? Now take that feeling and flip it so that you are that person who only have eyes for her. Women love to have bragging rights just as much as we do. So, when you do romantic things, or say romantic stuff, or even just show her a little romance apart from sex, she will tell all of her friends. Because she is so proud of you and the way you can make her world light up.

Challenge:

Try one of these suggestions every two weeks. Start small and learn how to share your emotions in other places besides the bedroom. Laugh with her, cry with her, dote her with praise (especially when she is feeling her worst, or feeling ugly, or feeling unattractive). Let her know you think about her with a text out of the blue, for no reason. It’s listening to her when she needs to vent, holding her when she is scared, and fight for her when she can’t fight for herself. But you need to know what is going on with her first. That is where spending quality time comes in. The more intimate you know her, (not sex) the more you will know what she needs.

Ok guys, that’s enough for this book. Now get a pen and paper and try these steps and suggestions and see how much closer you will draw to her over these next few months. Who knows, she may even give up internet and most romance novels to spend more time with you.

Good Luck. Author, LB Harpdog.

To my two boys, please be better than me. I've never been so proud of you two and your sister.

LOVE DAD.

For more books you can Inkitt anytime you want, I'm sure you'll find exactly what you ae looking for

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