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SPICE UP YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

What will you do when you get a call from your love one all of a sudden that he/she has been transferred to a different country for work?. What would be going through your mind?. Would you wait for him/her?. How would you handle yourself when you need him/her desperately?.

By FRED ABANKWAPublished 2 years ago 7 min read
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Fred Abankwa

What will you do when you get a call from your boyfriend all of a sudden that he has been transferred to a different country for work?. What would be going through your mind?. Would you wait for him?. How would you handle yourself when you need him desperately?. If you are going through this, then read our article for more insight and guidance.

I was distanced from my girlfriend 17,000 miles away, but I never thought we would have ever been happier or felt more in love than before. When I call her, we laughed and giggled like best friend.

My girlfriend and I are no stranger to long-distance relationship since we have been dating as such for years. Through trials and error, we begun to figure out how to make our long-distance relationship work better. We met in US when I was living in New York city whiles she lived in Alabama. We got married without having the chance to stay together. The distance spiced up our relationship with time.

I did a lot of research on how to improve our relationship. I studied how others made it. Some of the happiest couple i know were mostly in a long-distance relationship. In my research according to Lee“ there is a risk of decreased affection for long distance relationships, and also greater risk in separation but also a greater potential benefit for those who are beyond the infatuation phase.

The statistics on long-distance relationships are encouraging. Research shows that long distance couples tend to have more satisfaction in their relationships than couples who are geographically closer and dedicated to their relationships . About 32.5% of colleges are into long-distance relationship. The average calls and visitation with Couples in a long-distance relationship are 1.5 times and 2.7 days a month.

Another researcher Lori Gottlieb added that “One of the greatest benefits is that you do a lot more talking and learning about each other, since you spend more time having conversations than you might if you were sitting side-by-side watching movies, or out running errands or doing activities together,”

“Its also create a benefit in cultivating the friendship ,which is the foundation of every relationship, so that the relationship can become more interesting. You will have more personal time than people who live in the same city and become more excited to see each other , valuing the time you spend together,” says Gottlieb.

Of course, long-distance relationship have problems , but if two people are committed to making it work, the outlook isn’t breakable. We talked to experts about how to overcome some of the hardships of loving from afar and tips on such.

Technology Can be Your Best Friend In our technological era, long-distance relationships have become easier now than ever because there are so many ways to stay connected . “A lot of the glue of a relationship is in the day-to-day minutia, and with technology, you can share that in real time, instantaneously, with photos, texts and other social media video calls. That’s very different from letters or long-distance phone calls,” says Gottlieb. “Also, because people in long-distance relationships rely more heavily on technology to stay connected, in some ways tech enables them to communicate verbally even more than couples who sees each other often but sit in the same room without interaction.” It’s important to share details with your partner instead of just generalized conversations. For example, don’t just say, “I went to this dinner and had a great time.” Instead, really delve into the details. Talk about who was there, what happened, what you ate, who you talked to , and how it made you feel. It will make the everyday life lively for both partners even though one is not there to witness it.

Can you Commit ? This applies to anyone involved in a long-distance relationships. It’s important to know that you’re ready to commit to a person before wasting precious time. The importance of being single, according to Gandhi, is that you get to experiment and test the waters to determine what you really want and need in a relationship. “I see many people that just go through the emotions of a long-distance relationship and fritter away their college years.” If you choose to stay in a long-distance relationship, then it’s imperative that you have a plan for what might happen, and that both of you can work things out together. That’s another reason that Gandhi says ,going long distance in college can be hard. It’s daunting to plan your future around another person when you hardly know what your own future holds. Long-distance relationships that are going to stand the test of time needs a plan to end the distance at some point.

Set An End Date to the Distanced Situation While long-distance love can be a great thing for an finite of time, eventually you would want to be in the same place as your partner. “It’s hard to be apart, so you both have to be equally committed to the relationship and be on the same page on how long the distanced situation will last, and when you will move in together,” says Gottlieb.

Do Stuff Together Even Though You’re Apart Just because you aren’t physically in the same country doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. “Plan a movie night together via any social media video app where you guys can watch together,”. Social media, or other streaming services, makes it easier than ever to binge-watch shows with your partner. Do online quizzes or games together, have some discussion about the results to spark new and interesting conversations.

Make Fun Plans Delighted in the details of what the two of you will do the next time you see each other?. “Plan your next weekend together. Make it a ritual to talk about the fun things you’ll do together. Maybe you can decide that every night you meet together, you’ll try new restaurants instead of using the same old place. This will bring excitement to both partners to look forward to.

Also scheduling “good night video calls” when you’re both ready to go to bed can create a sense of togetherness and reduce the long distanced situation psychologically.

Be Confident in Your Relationship One thing that affects long distance relationships are insecurity. Insecurity can lead to one partner checking in on the other one more than usual. This can result in excessive calls and texts being sent for the wrong reasons, and can lead to unnecessary tension. “The constructive reason couples communicate often is to provide their partners with a sense of their lives and what’s important to them. When the communication is hijacked by insecurities, a partner might feel unassured, and the other partner might be turned off by the constant check -ins,. “The frequency of interaction in couples separated by distance needs to correlate to the same parameters of interaction when both are at home. It needs to be at a level agreeable to both parties.”

Stick to a Schedule Timing matters, especially when your time together is limited. To keep long-distance relationships going, you need to actually see one another .Schedule and prepare yourself when you’re going to see each other and also trust that the other person will stick to that plan as well. “You don’t want to go long periods of time without seeing each other,”.

Set Clear Rules and Boundaries Don’t do things that would hurt the other person to see on social media, advised by Lee and Rudolph. Gandhi adds that, you should do your best to stay out of situations that might make your long-distance partner feel uncomfortable or threatened — within reason. You don’t need to check in with your partner or get approval for every social interaction , but you should set clear boundaries and rules that will work for both of you and adhere to them.

Thank you for reading.

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Frederick Abankwa Mrs. Dr. Mary Opoku (Abankwa)

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About the Creator

FRED ABANKWA

Entrepreneur | Motivational speaker | Counsellor | HR Specialist |

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