Sexuality...a Social Construction

“Don’t Waste Time” by Hilda Guriérrez Baldoquín and “The Social Construction of Sexuality” by Ruth Hubbard resonated with me most out of the initial readings. While they both hold very different messages I found a strong connection through my own contemplation of each piece. The first of the two, “Don’t Waste Time” is projecting the idea that we have the ability to liberate our genuine self. Baldoquín is suggesting that by holding on to our conditioned minds we are trapped living the lives of “who we think we are”, rather than our genuine selves. The second of the two, “The Social Construction of Sexuality” relays the notion that as humans we write our own “sexual script”, however we are limited by our experiences and the knowledge we pick up from them along the way. Hubbard explains that within common culture children are raised to think one way about sexuality and procreation, hindering any opportunity to explore and grow comfortable with oneself. Together I found that the material created a theme of freedom, more specifically, freedom to live fully and restfully in our own skin.

With that being said, growing up attempting to feel full and happy in my own skin has been one of my largest struggles. Therefore, I felt a strong connection to these pieces. Baldoquín writes, “And because I remember as a child experiencing deep fear and confusion and witnessing the pain, despair, fear and anger of the adults around me, as an adult I had to figure a way out of it” (p 179). The amount of times over the years I have yearned to find a way out, even to leave my body behind, is not something to be proud of. Due to my stressful environment as a child I never had time to grow within and find comfort in my own skin in order to conquer the path before me. Although Hubbard is focusing on the construction of sexuality, it has a ton to do with feeling at home in the bodies we were born into. If you do not feel comfortable with the person you are and the body you wear daily, than how can you be happy with the life you lead? How can you conquer the potholes and enjoy the ride? I realized that both of these pieces came down to the way we are conditioned right from the get-go. If we were given more freedom to find piece within at a young age then we really wouldn’t be wasting time. There would be more opportunity to flourish and enjoy living.

Unfortunately too many cultural and social factors come in to play from the start. It has a lot to do with the diverse privileges we have growing up. Dependent upon the norms and traditions we gain from our family and communities we become a sponge soaked in these privileges that are in essence conditioning the way we work. “We construct it out of our diverse life situations, limited by what we are taught or what we can imagine to be permissible and correct” (Hubbard p66). When you are familiarized with something it is hard to let go of, especially things that are initiated within childhood, it becomes a part of who you believe you are. Guilt and fear, even discrimination are just a few of the other factors present.

In my opinion, the most important to consider inside my personal learning process is how privileged I grew up and how conditioned it has made me. It is pertinent to recognize these factors in order to maintain a fresh mind to receive what the entire world has to offer, without any bias. Baldoquín shares a quote by Shunryu Suzuki Roshi: “In the mind of a beginner there are many possibilities. In the mind of an expert, very few” (p 179). We need to keep our minds fresh in order to be receptive rather than assuming that since we have been through some rough times that we know what is best.

“Put aside the intellectual practice of investigating words and chasing phrases and learn to take the backward step that turns the light and shines it inward” (Baldoquín p179). To me, learning is an inward experience. In other words, the outside world has plenty to teach us, however if we are not open minded and receptive within then nothing will ever truly be learned. It is not about what we are able to memorize, it is what we can conceptualize and put into practice that is truly learned. On that note, in order to take these ideals into my daily living I need to investigate what they truly mean to me. With that I will be able to reflect outward in order to encourage others to do the same. It is important to turn the light inward, but also to spread awareness outward in order to make the greatest change in the world around us. We can only control ourselves, however in order to make a difference we need to encourage others to take the wheel and get on the blissful path without wasting any more time.

“It is the nature of oppression to obscure the limitless essence, the vastness of who we are-that the nature of our mind is luminous, like a clear pool reflecting a cloudless sky” (Baldoquín p182). As Hubbard illustrates in her writing life would be made easier in the long run if it was more common to keep an “open and accepting approach to sexuality” (p 67). As previously stated I believe that is just the first step to a bigger goal. In order to refrain from wasting time we need to be free of fear from the start. If we feel comfortable with the people we are, rather than the people we think we are, than there is more confidence available to take on what the world has to offer. Our minds would be comparable to a clear pool reflecting a cloudless sky. All in all, these readings reveal two different lessons that, in juxtaposition, made me think to greater lengths. The younger the process of liberation begins the greater life’s possibilities are.