Second Chances

Prologue

“There’s Orion,” he whispered into my ear as we gazed up at the stars. My eyes searched the sky for a trace of something I’d never understand. I never cared much for astronomy, but I wouldn’t dare tell him that. All I genuinely cared about on these cold winter nights was snuggling up next to him on the bed of his pickup truck, as he held me tightly. “I see it,” I replied softly, as I glanced in his direction, engraving in my mind every inch of his beauty. He broke my gaze, as I looked away, tears welling in the corners of my eyes. I had been dreading this day for months; this would be last day I would be able to look into his baby blue eyes for two years.

Every night since he took me to dinner and broke the news of his leaving had been a nightmare. I had cried myself to sleep each night, wondering why he hadn’t included me in his decision to go. Did he think that this wouldn’t affect me? Going away for two years was a terribly long time without him. I worried myself sick every moment we were apart, and I savored every moment we were together.

I knew that the line of work he would be going into was dangerous, but for a good cause; yet I was selfish. We were madly in love, totally consumed by one another. I had spent years planning a future for us; we would live in a beautiful two-story brick house somewhere in the countryside. After we married, we would have beautiful blue-eyed babies running around our huge four-acre land. He would work in the city, like he always had dreamed of, and I would be a stay-at-home mother to our children.

I was blindsided when he dropped the bomb on me that he had enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. I knew his granddad had served during his youth, but I never imagined that Chris would follow in his footsteps. Not only would he have to risk his life, but he would also be risking our live together as well. I had selfishly tried to change his mind, but he insisted his dream in life was to make a difference, to be honored and recognized. But why did it have to be in this way? Did he realize this could be the last time we could ever see each other? Wasn’t my love enough to make him stay?

After weeks of loathing on Chris’s decision to leave, I finally grew to accept his decision. Who was I to withhold him from fulfilling his life-long dream? I would move mountains for this man, even swim oceans for his love. So, I needed to reserve my selfishness and give him what he needed from me while he was here —support.

The days passed by much too quickly; we spent as much time together as we could. Each day that drew closer to his departure made the sunken feeling in my chest sink even more. He assured me that everything would be fine, and that he would write as much as he could. He promised to return all of my letters and assured me that we would pick up where we left off as soon as he returned. Two years was a long time, but I was willing to wait for him. Nobody had held my heart in the way that he had; I loved him so much it hurt.

The dreaded day had arrived, and we spent all day getting his things all sorted together for his departure. The greyhound was set to pick him up at midnight. This was our last night together for two long years, and as we lay under the stars, for once I finally understood why he was so fascinated with astronomy; it truly was peaceful just gazing at the endless array of darkness and the silence that surrounded it.

Chris broke the silence and sat up from his place on the tailgate. He stood up and jumped from the tailgate of the truck, landing gracefully. He took one last look at the stars and turned to face me. His eyes were glossy, and I knew then that he would miss me just as much as I would miss him. He stared for a brief moment and took my hand. “The best thing about star-gazing is that no matter where you are, the stars will always be there. Each time I see the stars while I’m away, I’ll feel comfort knowing you’ll be looking at the same stars. Maybe then, it won’t seem like we’re so far apart after all,” he said. I felt tears welt in my eyes because this would be my new favorite thing to do once he left.

As I gazed up at the sky once more, taking in his comforting words, I felt his hand leave mine. I glanced away from the sky, and below me was the man of my dreams, knelt down on one knee with a beautiful diamond ring. His eyes met mine, as he spoke, “Brooklyn Sellers, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I love you with every ounce of my being and couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone other than you. So, given the time we have to spend apart, I am hoping you will wait. I know I can only hope you will wait, not expect you to, but I love you Brooklyn and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Every part of my being melted when he spoke those words. I wasn’t expecting a proposal on the night of his departure, but I sure knew that I was going to marry this man. I smiled, jumped from the tailgate of his truck and landed into his arms. “Yes!” I screamed so loudly, that my voice echoed in the trees around us. “Yes, Chris I will marry you!”

5 Years Later

“Mommy, Mommy!” Scarlett screamed, as I struggled to climb out of bed to see what commotion had unfolded in the five minutes I had managed to lie down. “What’s wrong sweetie?” I calmly asked her, even though my patience and strength were running thin. “I can’t sleep. There’s a monster under my bed. Can you check again please?” she whimpered. Despite the aching feeling all over my body, I knelt down to look under her bed to look for the unrelenting monster that my four year old daughter insisted lived under her bed. “Nope, no monster sweetie. It must just be the wind again,” I said as I glanced out the window.

The wind was a gentle breeze that pushed the branches from our huge oak tree against the glass. I opened the glass to get a brisk of fresh air and savor the breeze for a moment before tucking my daughter into bed. That’s when I decided to glance up at the sky. It had been many years since I looked into the sky at night, especially when it was as clear as tonight. The memory was too painful.

It still seemed like just yesterday when the Sergeant of Chris’s platoon appeared at my doorstep, bearing the news that my fiancé had been killed in the line of duty. I remember sinking to the floor upon hearing the news, the rest of the world around me blurring away. I had just found out we were expecting a child two days prior to his death, after experiencing unbearable morning sickness. I had even written an exciting letter telling him all about it, that I placed in the mail the morning before I received the news. He never received my letter, and he never would.

The years flew by; my mind wasn’t stable after losing Chris. I suffered from postpartum depression, and my mind was in a dark place. Some days, I pondered if I was a bad mother to our daughter. I started taking antidepressants regularly and became dependent upon them. They made me feel numb; it was the only way I could cope with life without Chris.

Before long, I got sick. The doctors diagnosed me with liver failure last year. The news stung even worse than Chris’s death. My daughter needed at least one parent, and now I was going to be snatched away from her as well. She never even got to meet her dad, and now she was losing her mother. There was no way I could afford a liver transplant.

I turned away from the window, only to find that my daughter had fallen asleep. I had gotten lost in my thoughts again, and time elapsed. She was beautiful, just like her dad. She looked so much like him; it was hard not to be reminded of him each time she smiled. The way she cuddled into her plush blanket was comforting so I decided to cuddle next to her. I wrapped my arms around her as I drifted off into a blissful dream where Chris, Scarlett, and I could be together as a family.

The Next Morning

“Mommy! Mommy! Please wake up! I need to go potty!” I fainty heard my daughter’s screams as I floated in and out of consciousness. Why couldn’t I wake up? What was happening? Oh, no, please don’t let this be the end…

Later that day

The sound of beeping monitors all around me stirred within my eardrums. I could hear faint talking from a distance, despite how loud the monitors were. “She doesn’t have long. We thought we had more time, but it seems her liver can’t take too much more. I’d give it a day or so, and arrangements will need to me made.” It sounded like a doctor. But who was he talking to about my condition? I had no family left. And where was Scarlett? Thoughts muffled my brain as I drifted back into my unconscious slumber.

Some hours later, my eyes managed to open. I sluggishly pulled myself up in my hospital bed. The room was dark, and my daughter was nowhere in sight; I hoped she was alright. I pulled the light string to the lamp on the nightstand beside my bed. On the nightstand, a small black notebook caught my eye. Where had this come from, I wondered. I placed the notebook in my lap, daring to open it.

I traced the engravings on the front of this mysterious notebook with my fingers and debated on reading the contents within it. Then, as I slowly opened it, something slipped out from the front, falling into my lap. I glanced down. It was a check; a check for $20,000 made payable to me. My heart stopped when I read the signature endorsed at the bottom, Chris’s signature. Tears welled in the corner of my eyes as I set aside the check to explore the contents of the black book.

Inside was a letter addressed to me, dated the day Chris left. As I read each word, tears streamed down my cheeks. Chris must have known he wouldn’t make it back. The heart monitors began beeping loudly again. I knew a nurse would be in shortly, so I skimmed towards the back of the book. I was even more shocked at my findings. Paperclipped to the back of the book was a stack of folded papers. I slowly unfolded the papers. Inside was a life insurance policy for Chris for one million dollars, and I was listed as the beneficiary.

Sadness, followed by relief, flooded over me as I realized that Chris risked his life for me to have a better future. I would get a second chance to live for my daughter because I could finally afford a liver transplant. I owed everything to Chris. But who did I have the pleasure of thanking for giving me this second chance?